Today’s Retro Decimator Quote is…
“The only thing I laughed at was Kenan mistaking a poster of the musical Annie for a poster of JonBenet Ramsey.” (from Maya Rudolph/Jack Harlow, 2021)
Cold Open: Founding Fathers
The Declaration of Independence gets interrupted by Trump. Oh, and Lin-Manuel Miranda is there.
• Why are there female cast members in this sketch? Did they not have enough male extras or something?
• Pointless appearance from Lin-Manuel Miranda doing his Hamilton shtick. Reminds me of that awful cold open a few years ago where they had him playing Julien Castro for no reason other than “celebrity lol”.
• Aaaaaand we suddenly get interrupted by Trump. I’ve already said enough about him, so let’s move on.
Monologue
Timothee talks about his losing streak at award shows.
• Not a big fan of that montage of Timothee’s reactions at award shows. I almost expected them to throw in that old clip of Brendan Fraser laughing.
• The Curb Your Enthusiasm theme as a punchline? Really???
• Speaking of old-ass references, he just mentioned the Dune popcorn bucket. Ugh, I’m still trying to forget that awful song about it from last season.
Sketch: Bungee
Wacky shenanigans happen at a fitness class.
• I can’t imagine anyone who would want to go to this kind of place in real life. It looks so stupid.
• Oh my God at the wig Timothee is wearing. *checks notes* Yep, this is a Jimmy Fowlie sketch.
• Longfellow is a great straight man as usual.
• Yeah…this sketch is not for me. Maybe the TikTok sluts and camwhores will get a kick out of it?
• The only laugh I got was the Jimmy Carter move, in which they all lie down like they’re dead. Pretty ballsy moment, considering Carter had died only a few weeks before.
Film: Medcast
The doctor’s appointment that feels like a podcast.
• Interesting concept…
• There’s a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it jab at Joe Rogan when Heidi talks about people getting their medical advice from social media.
• This looks like the same set as the “Banger Boyz” sketch from a few episodes ago.
• The slow-motion footage is making me laugh for some reason, especially when Ashley is shown checking Emil’s ears.
• JAJ’s scene, in which he is talking about apes taking mushrooms, is made infinitely funnier when it pans out to reveal that he is having a rectal exam.
• Great ending with the podcast thumbnails, which all have clickbaity titles like “WTF?! Virgin has herpes??”, complete with Andrew and Marcello soyfacing.
Sketch: New Barista Training
A new barista is bad at banter.
• Jane appears for like two seconds before leaving the sketch.
• Ashley Padilla has been getting a lot of airtime tonight. It’s kind of funny how this is her second lead role that involves her telling bad jokes.
• Hilarious sudden Def Jam-style delivery from Timothee’s character.
• Mikey, you don’t need to explain everything. Why don’t you understand that?
• This whole bit about big women is particularly hilarious.
• I like how Ashley’s jokes are always followed by Heidi feeling uncomfortable. The last time this happens, she even asks Ashley if everything is okay at home.
• Kenan’s appearance at the end was kind of pointless, but I still enjoyed it.
Film: Oedipal Arrangements
The new Valentine’s Day treats made just for mama’s boys.
• Funny disturbing concept.
• The various shots of Michael feeding his mother candy in a sexual manner are really creepy, but in a good way.
• Mikey is the eternal SNL cuck.
• Something odd, though. Where has Timothee been in these fake ads?
Sketch: AI Software
The AI is becoming self-aware.
• This Candy Crush bit at the beginning just feels weird to me.
• I like Ego mentioning that the school will be turned into a Target or a jail if her students’ grades don’t improve.
• “Bae”? Did Timothee really just say that?
• Now Bowen just said it too?!?? Who wrote this?!? A teenager?
• All of the reacting and explaining is driving me crazy. We have eyes, SNL!
• The visual of Timothee and Bowen having six fingers on each hand is at least memorably bizarre.
• Sarah: “Trish sounds butch AF.” Nobody talks like this!
• No comment on the horrible ending where the AI characters start dancing.
Musical Performance: “Outlaw Blues”, “Three Angels”
• Pointless appearance from Adam Sandler at the beginning.
Weekend Update (featuring Giselle and Andrew Dismukes and his Puppet Dad)
• Starting off with a string of Trump jokes, none of which are funny.
• Did you know that all Catholic priests are pedophiles?!?? THAT’S THE JOKE!!!!
• Okay, I did get a chuckle from the spelling bee joke.
• Ego is here with a clapter inducing commentary about how “scary” things are now that Trump is back in office. Once you’ve seen one Ego commentary, you’ve pretty much seen them all.
• That pizza-flavored Cinnamon Toast Crunch sounds nasty.
• I loved the audience reaction to the story about there being no shootings in New York City for five whole days.
• Colin randomly shouting “NO!!!” in response to a story about oatmeal was actually pretty funny.
• Been a while since we had a Spirit Airlines joke.
• I love the part with Colin brandishing a gun and warning people not to tackle him on Pop Culture Jeopardy.
• Ah, now here’s Andrew with his “puppet dad”, a puppet designed to look like his father. I remember this being a pretty funny commentary.
• That voice he’s using is hilarious.
• Pretty funny how the puppet calls Andrew the seventh most famous cast member. Apparently, Colin is even lower on that list, only ranking as the sixteenth most famous cast member.
• My words can’t do this justice. Go watch it for yourself.
• Why is it that Andrew is the only cast member who consistently excels on Update? I’ve enjoyed every single of his commentaries!
Sketch: Dog Run
Dogs interact with each other at the dog park.
• What the fuck is this?!? Am I watching a rejected All That sketch, or is this a routine from a furry convention?
• I guess the “joke” is supposed to be humans doing dog things, but I’m cringing more than I’m laughing. This is kinda creepy, to be honest. Is someone in the writing staff secretly a furry?
• Not even Andrew as an overdramatic Pomeranian was funny.
Musical Performance: “Tomorrow Is a Long Time”
Sketch: Grandma’s Birthday
Fun with CPR.
• Sarah seems to have usurped Kate McKinnon’s spot as the one who gets typecast as old women. Given how bad she’s been lately, I am dreading this sketch…
• As if things couldn’t get any weirder, Marcello’s character in this has the same name as me. When I first saw this, I had to do a double take.
• To her credit, Sarah’s pratfall as she suffers a heart attack is pretty well done.
• No comment on Timotheé reviving Sarah with an enormous fart. Hopefully this isn’t someone’s fetish.
• Bowen and James’ faces after this happens pretty much sum the whole thing up.
• I find it hard to believe that Sarah’s writing has deteriorated to this level. I honestly thought this was a Sublette sketch at first!
• I did like Mikey recoiling in horror at the thought of giving Sarah a kiss after what just happened. This has been one of his best episodes in a while.
• The sketch just kind of ends abruptly with Kenan suffering a heart attack and everyone forgetting about him so they can have cake.
Animation: God
Angels help create the world.
• “An SNL Animated Short”? This is new…
• When was the last time we even had an animated short on SNL? Was it that awful short with the Ninja Turtles as old men that aired during one of the At Home episodes?
• Man, this is one ugly cartoon. I’m not expecting Looney Tunes quality or anything, but couldn’t they have at least gotten someone with a unique style instead of this bootleg 70’s Hanna-Barbera shit?
• The “lolsorandom” humor doesn’t help things, either.
• While it is pretty novel to see animation on SNL again, would it have hurt them to actually make it, you know, funny?
Final thoughts: This episode was a little mixed. The first half had some pretty good stuff in it, but then we had that awful AI sketch and it never recovered after that, with the exception of the puppet on Update. Chalamet did his best as usual, though.
Best sketches: Medcast, New Barista Training, Oedipal Arrangements, Puppet Dad commentary
Worst sketches: Cold Open, AI Software, Dog Run, Grandma’s Birthday
Next review: Shane Gillis/Tate McRae
This review is dedicated to my sweet kitty cat Cupcake. I’m gonna miss you.
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