My final Retro Decimator Quote is…
“Since these seem to be so popular on the internet, I thought I’d try my own. Now, SNL needs no introduction. It was once the greatest comedy in history. Nowadays, it’s no different from the other late-night shows. Is it really as bad as everyone says it is? Let’s start with the first episode I watched all the way through, the one with Saoirse Ronan that aired in December 2017. Each sketch will be rated on a scale of 1 to 5. So, what are we waiting for? As Bob the Builder used to say, ‘Let’s get started!’” (from Saiorse Ronan/U2, 2017)
It’s only fair that I start my final review with the introduction of my first review. Well, let’s get to it…
Cold Open
Trump discusses the Middle East and the end of the season.
• Whew, the last time I ever have to talk about this impression…
• It’s great to see Emil in a lead role right at the beginning of the show.
• Unfortunately, SNL doesn’t seem to know which country Mohammad Bin Salman is actually the leader of. He’s supposed to be the ruler of Saudi Arabia, but the set designers put up the UAE flag!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!
• Then Trump starts breaking the fourth wall for some reason, as if to mock all of those people who complain about this impression taking up so much screentime.
• I actually really like the part where he goes into the audience and starts flirting with the women seated next to him. That’s a neat way to spice things up.
• At least this cold open ended on a pretty positive note for me. Why is it positive? Because it’s the last one I ever have to cover!!!
Monologue
Scarlett and the cast perform a song about how special SNL is to them.
• One last musical monologue…yippee…
• The fact that Bowen, Heidi, Chloe, Ego, and Mikey are all front and center here makes me think that this might be their final episode. Pretty sure the line about Sarah leaving is just a joke, though.
• Nice fakeout with Scarlett announcing “Ladies and gentlemen, Billy Joel…wrote this song.” I like Mikey’s disappointed reaction to this.
• They even work in a Q&A bit with Kenan as an old man. This monologue has everything I hate and more!
• Longfellow gets in a nice jab about his lack of airtime, claiming he’s only been in 4 sketches. And just to prove his point, he doesn’t appear again for the rest of the show!
• UGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! There goes another “joke” about how expendable the new cast members are. Why do they keep doing this??!???
• Aside from a couple things I mentioned above, this was an absolutely wretched monologue. The sad thing is that there are people out there who eat this shit up, like all of those lobotomy patients in the YouTube comments.
Sketch: Local News Stories
Anchors of a morning news show use lame puns while reporting stories.
• What is the deal with that intro where Emil sings a parody of a Chappell Roan song? Why is Chappell Roan constantly on the show’s mind this year?!??
• I like Kenan saying that his co-anchor gave birth to “something”, which has a number of implications that all unnerve me…
• Okay, this is really strange. This is the third lead role Ashley has gotten this year that involves telling bad jokes. Is someone in the writer’s room playing a prank on her?
• It takes a little while, but the horrible puns Scarlett makes are gradually getting funnier.
• I especially like the one about the cannibal.
• Hilarious scene with Devon making a bad pun about a mother whose daughter has been kidnapped.
• Kenan’s line at the end comparing his job to having sex with his wife was probably my favorite part.
• An excellent way to start the episode.
Please Don’t Destroy: First Class
A first class trip with Scarlett is interrupted by Newark news.
• My last Please Don’t Destroy film. They’ve been really hit or miss lately, but I hope I can get one last surprise for them.
• Aaaaaand it’s another musical one. I think I’ve been pretty open about how much I’ve hated most of their musical attempts.
• So far, this isn’t doing much to change my opinion.
• I think this might be better if they got rid of all the music portions and they just focused on the dialogue scenes.
• That being said, I did like the part with Martin sings about having the Lost pilot on his phone.
• Ugh, pointless appearance from Bad Bunny as an air traffic controller.
• Overall, this was a pathetic way for me to end my coverage of these guys. When they first popped up, they were such a breath of fresh air compared to the rest of the show, but now, they’re just as stale as everything else.
Sketch: Couple at the Bar
Two couples confront each other at the bar.
• *sigh* Marcello’s doing that accent yet again…
• Great, now we have another Bad Bunny appearance. Get this smug little bastard off of my screen!
• This sketch suddenly turns into a Spanish argument between Bad Bunny and Marcello. Why is fucking Bad Bunny slowly taking over this episode????
• It goes without saying by this point that I am beyond tired of Marcello’s goofy accent shtick. He was doing pretty well for a while, but then he brought back the Movie Guy for no reason last week, and he hasn’t recovered from that.
• God bless JAJ and Andrew for trying to liven things up with their characters. JAJ also ends the sketch on a positive note with an impressive knowledge of Spanish.
Film: Bowen’s Still Straight
Scarlett flirts with Bowen.
• I take issue with Ego referring to Longfellow as “creepy”.
• You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. Now we have an unnecessary sequel to that film about Bowen being straight from last season?!?? Must this show ruin every sketch I like????
• Scarlett is nowhere near as good as Sydney Sweeney was in the first one.
• Because this show hates us, there are two cameo appearances in this sketch, making this the first season since 43 to have a cameo in every single episode. Jesus Christ. I thought they’d learned their lesson, but apparently not.
• Unsurprisingly, they throw in a cameo from Colin. That’s three episodes in a row that he’s appeared outside of Update.
Sketch: Elevator
Mike Myers has an awkward elevator ride with Kanye West.
• Mike Myers again? Don’t worry, he’s only playing himself this time. Why? You’ll see…
• After about a minute, Kenan suddenly enters as…*sigh*…Kanye West. WHYYYYYYYY?????????
• First of all, Kenan looks and sounds absolutely nothing like Kanye. Why couldn’t they let Devon play him?
• Second, why are they doing this now, in 2025? The incident with Mike and Kanye happened almost 20 years ago (Christ, I’m old…). And you wanna know something else??? They already DID a parody of it right after it happened when Kanye was a musical guest in the Season 31 premiere!!! So not only is this extremely out of date, it’s something that they already did better when it was still current! Who is this even for????
Musical Performance: “NUEVAYoL”
Weekend Update (featuring Ego Nwodim)
• I really, really, really hope this is the last episode for Colin Jost and Michael Che. If it’s not, then at least this is the last time I have to cover them.
• Enough with the Trump loves McDonald’s jokes!!!!
• I am so tired of these bozos cracking up at their own jokes. The extended laugh breaks often cause Update to last even longer than it should.
• Another stand-up commentary from Ego, because her last one was such a hit.
• While this is somewhat of a rewrite of the last one, Ego is still giving this her all.
• I’m amazed they let her (and Colin) get away with saying “Shut your gay ass up!”
• If this ends up being Ego’s final episode, at least she went out on a high note.
• Hideous joke about Stephen Hawking.
• The ONLY joke I laughed at from the anchors was Colin’s joke about some Amazon driver taking a shit on someone’s porch.
• Well, it’s the end of the season, and you know what that means…time for another joke swap. After the horrors of the last one, I’m sensing that this one won’t be any better.
• I noticed that Colin stumbles a bit when he says “season finale”. Hmmm, was he about to say something else???? Like, maybe this is his final episode as well? I hope!!!
• Shock of shocks, Colin just told a racist joke about black people…yay…
• Che just made an anti-white joke…double yay…
• We get our obligatory Scarlett appearance.
• Stooge, if you’re out there, and by some miracle happen to come across this review, just be glad you don’t have to watch this.
• IT’S FINALLY OVER!!!!!! I NEVER HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THESE TWO CHUCKLEUCKS AGAIN!!!!!!
Sketch: Intimacy Coordinators
Two intimacy coordinators have no idea how lesbians make love.
• What in the world is an intimacy coordinator anyway? The only other place I’ve ever heard of one was in that one sketch when Rege-Jean Page hosted a few years ago.
• I don’t know why Mikey keeps saying “sowwy”, but it’s kind of funny. I’m really gonna miss talking about him.
• Sarah’s character is non-binary for no apparent reason. Hey, remember when you guys hired a non-binary cast member to be on your show, only to treat them like shit and fire them after you got all the press you wanted???? That was awesome.
• What am I even watching here? Kenan doesn’t know how lesbians have sex??? What are they trying to imply?
• All of these penis euphemisms are so juvenile and unfunny. I was shocked to discover that the Please Don’t Destroy guys wrote this.
Sketch: TV Takes
TV stars are forced to answer uncomfortable questions about themselves.
• A sequel to a sketch from the Anya Taylor-Joy episode…which was FOUR seasons ago. What is with this season and bringing back old-ass sketches???? And, once again, it’s a sketch that I didn’t even like before!
• “Danny Cheeks”??? I see Sublette has gone back to his old dirty name routine.
• Said character is played by Marcello, who is being treated like some kind of mega-popular star that everyone loves. Ugh…
• I feel kind of sorry for Sarah being cast as someone who is “ugly”. This may sound kinda weird, but I’ve always found her much more attractive than any of the male cast.
• Jane Wickline sounds so bored. What a diverse cast member.
• I just want to punch Bowen here. He sounds so smug and unlikeable.
• In a season full of unnecessary rehashed sketches, that had to have been one of the worst.
Musical Performance: “Perfumito Nuevo”
Sketch: Victorian Ladies at Lunch
Proper ladies dine on repulsive food.
• Well, this is it…my final sketch as a reviewer…aaaaaaaand it’s a pointless piece of shit where Victorian women eat disgusting garbage.
• Let me take one final moment to say how much I hate Kent Sublette (and his buttbuddy James Anderson for that matter). As soon as I heard the accents and saw the premise, I knew this had to be his work. Sure enough, it was.
• Not even Andrew and his hilarious voice are enough to salvage this.
• It’s kind of sad, really. My final episode as a reviewer ends, not on a high note, but on a wet fart. Good riddance to bad rubbish.
Final thoughts: The nightmare is finally over! With the exception of that news sketch early on, I hated every single thing about this episode. So many rehashes and awful premises, you name it, this episode had it. I didn’t even mention Scarlett Johansson, because she was just kind of there. How did this woman even make it to the Five-Timers Club when a good chunk of her episodes are absolute shit?
Best sketches: Local News Stories, Ego’s commentary
Worst sketches: Monologue, Couple at the Bar, Elevator, Weekend Update (except Ego), Intimacy Coordinator, Victorian Ladies at Lunch
Coming up will be my Season 50 overview, and after that, a special farewell post!!!!
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