Today’s Retro Decimator Quote is…
“Who’s the black lady sitting next to Ego in the audience? I thought it was Michael Che in drag at first.” (from Jake Gyllenhaal/Camilla Cabello, 2022)
Cold Open
Trump’s meeting with the president of Ukraine is a disaster.
• Great, more unfunny Trump antics. The actual meeting that this is “parodying” was already a joke. We don’t need SNL making it worse!
• Bowen’s JD Vance is still horrible. Whoever thought it was a good idea to portray him as a sassy queer needs to be fired.
• Elon Musk is back, and thankfully, it isn’t Dana Carvey this time. Unfortunately, it’s now the corpse of Mike Myers who is playing him.
• This impression is exactly what you would expect from modern Mike Myers. Loads of unfunny mugging, inconsistent British accents, you name it.
• SNL’s political writing continues to flounder in this era. Luckily, I’ve got only eight more cold opens to look at before I’m done with this shit for good.
Monologue
Gillis talks about Trump, Biden, dating, and historical documentaries.
• Starting off with his political material this time.
• I like how the audience starts laughing before he even gets to his dating jokes.
• The run of jokes about his friend Jamal are pretty great.
• Great jabs at Ken Burns’ Civil War documentary, which he calls “Kryptonite for women” and goes on about how boring it is having to watch the camera zoom in on old photos.
• Particularly great part when he makes fun of an old historian in the documentary who’s clearly bitter about the South losing.
• While not as consistent as his previous monologue, the whole Civil War part at the end made it worth the watch.
Sketch: Winery Tour
A woman tries to get the perfect picture while touring a winery with her new boyfriend.
• Man, Ashley’s airtime seems to have exploded lately. I like to see it!
• There’s a strange rustling sound throughout this sketch which is honestly kind of annoying. Is it something on the set or are their microphones malfunctioning?
• Speaking of annoying, Heidi’s character is her typical, air headed millennial type that we’re all sick of.
• Oh, and I definitely didn’t need to hear Heidi speaking in baby talk.
Fake Ad: CouplaBeers
The new product that’s just what you need to get through a stressful day.
• Nice to see Shane as the spokesman, just like that gambling ad in his last episode.
• The writer’s guide credits this to a guest writer named John McKeever, who I’m guessing is a friend of Shane’s because of how different this feels to SNL’s usual fake ads.
• I like how the beer cans are designed to look like medicine bottles.
• Nice disclaimer at the bottom: “A COUPLE OF BEERS COULD MEAN TWO, OR TEN, DEPENDING ON DOSE SIZE”
• Heidi: “Honey, can you come sit down? We need to talk.” *brief silence* Shane: “No.” *end of sketch*
Sketch: WANU Mid-Day News
White & black anchors use news stories to make points.
• Random return of this sketch from the Phoebe Waller-Bridge episode in Season 45? Why do they keep bringing back all of these old-ass sketches?!???
• I didn’t even like the original, mostly due to an allergy to Phoebe Waller-Bridge, so I imagine I’m gonna like this one even less. We
• Baltimore native Ego sneaks in a reference to Reiserstown Road, which is a major road in that area.
• I kinda like Ego and Kenan whispering to each other about “hwite” people.
• Nice suspect photo of a Walter White-esque man.
• More Baltimore references with a mention of Hunt Valley.
• Call me crazy, but this isn’t too bad so far.
• I like the story about the barber shop shooting having started over an argument about Drake and Kendrick.
• Kenan: “Who the heck is Shaboozey?!?”
• Ego, complaining about an underage girl in a relationship with her teacher: “LaKeesha, girl, what is you doin’???”
• Nice awkward moment when Shane refers to his black co-anchors as “chicken people”.
• Overall, I thought that was a lot better than the first incarnation of this sketch. Maybe I’d like that one better if I watched it again? Then again, maybe not, because Phoebe Waller-Bridge is in it.
Sketch: Dad’s House
A divorced dad attempts to host his children’s television show while his kids are visiting for the weekend.
• “You’re watching PBS Kids!” Stop doing that!!!! TV channels don’t work like that anymore!!!!
• Shane is doing a really good job at subverting your typical kiddie show host portrayal. This is a guy who just wants to die.
• His unenthusiastic mail song got a good laugh from me.
• Nice running gag where he can’t remember his son’s name.
• Man, that is some nasty-ass food.
• Another big role for Ashley!
• I love the look of JAJ as Ashley’s new boyfriend.
• This sketch is a perfect example of how to do cringe comedy properly. Shane’s character is rightfully painted in a negative light for his horrible actions, whereas if this were a show like Family Guy, we would be expected to laugh and agree with him.
Please Don’t Destroy: The Sound
On a knockoff of The Voice, contestants are judged based only on their voices.
• Interesting to see the guys playing actual characters instead of themselves for a change.
• Great name for Ben’s character, “Cody Swiggums”.
• Priceless reveal that the person who is singing so beautifully looks like a child molester, complete with Bruce Vilanch’s hairstyle, and creepy glasses.
• I love the bit about how his greatest influence is Chris Brown.
• Is that Shane’s actual voice doing the singing, or is it someone else?
• Great twist where it’s revealed that he doesn’t actually need the wheelchair, and is only using it to get laid. I half expected him to pull a Guy Caballero and say he uses it for respect.
• I absolutely love the ending with him releasing a duet with Tate McRae, which is an “Otaku Style” version of “Amazing Grace”.
• Nice to see that Please Don’t Destroy can still give us a great short when they switch things up. Of course, the real star here is Shane’s hilarious character.
Musical Performance: “Sports Car”
Weekend Update (featuring The Movie Guy and Jane Wickline)
• Like I said, trying to mine jokes from the Trump/Zelenskyy meeting is impossible when the actual meeting was already a joke.
• They’re still doing “seen here” jokes.
• The Andrew Cuomo joke is pretty good.
• Che has a pretty good joke about how he’s the only black anchor left at NBC.
• Now we get a commentary from Marcello as “The Movie Guy”. Who’s that? It’s a guy in an old-timey usher’s uniform who speaks in a thick Hispanic accent.
• Man, even by Marcello standards, this is pretty bad. How many times are we supposed to laugh because he has a thick accent and speaks in lame one-liners? I’ve brought up this comparison before, but he reminds me of an unironic Fericito. He even says “I’m just keeding!” at one point of this commentary!
• Some hacky-ass shit regarding his opinions on “‘Punbob” (SpongeBob) and “Po-Pye-Yay” (Popeye), where the only joke is that Hispanic people talk funny.
• To make matters worse, Marcello starts cracking up at himself. He’s clearly more amused at this than I am.
• I loved Colin’s jab at Captain America: Brave New World.
• Again with the 90’s, Che? You’re the only one who finds that “running gag” funny. Stop doing it!
• Yawn, another unfunny Jane Wickline song. I wish they’d get the hint and stop trying make her a thing.
Sketch: Wedding Interruption
Coupons reveal an ex-boyfriend’s broken offers in the past.
• The beginning had me worried that Garrett from Hinge was going to appear, but thankfully it’s just Shane playing a different ex-boyfriend character.
• I’m getting several laughs from all this talk about an “open eyes hand job” coupon. It reminds me of that sketch from Shane’s last episode where he ordered the Green Bay Packers buttplug.
• Shane: “I thought being with you meant ‘handies’ would never go away.” This is the first time I have ever heard someone refer to hand jobs as “handies”, but I think I like it.
• Devon’s “Butt Stuff” coupon is also pretty funny.
• I like the implication that Kenan’s minister character has a dark past when he says, “I can’t be a judge with the record that I have.”
• This is also one of Sarah’s best performances in a while.
• I find it hard to believe that Michael Che wrote this sketch, because it’s actually funny, and there’s no anti-white jokes in it.
Musical Performance: “Dear God”
Sketch: Doctor’s Visit
A patient recognizes his doctor and takes him on a trip down memory lane.
• Holy crap, Emil finally gets a lead role for the first time in months!
• I don’t know what “beef to teeth” means, but it doesn’t sound pleasant.
• All of this self-fellatio talk is seriously disgusting, but I won’t pretend that it isn’t making me laugh.
• Someone in the comments said they couldn’t believe this made it on air. Where have you been the last few years, anonymous commenter? They talk about this kind of stuff all the time now!
• Shane: “So, can you still do it? You know…use your Slinky as a binky?” I want to use that phrase on my wife when I get married.
• Okay, that may have been the greatest sketch of the entire season right there. Props to whoever let it get past dress rehearsal.
Note: A memorial is shown for Buster Poindexter before the goodnights.
Final thoughts: While not as good as his first episode, this is easily a highlight of this troubled season. Shane was once again an amazing host. Can we start calling him a future Five-Timer yet?
Best sketches: Monologue, CouplaBeers, Dad’s House, The Sound, Doctor’s Visit
Worst sketches: Cold Open, Winery Tour, Movie Guy commentary
Next review: Lady Gaga
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