Today’s Retro Decimator Quote is…
“Oh, that’s right, there’s another black woman on this show. Given how rarely they use her, I’m surprised that she’s the only black character in the sketch. And I’m even more surprised that she got a second season.” (from Kristen Wiig/Dua Lipa, 2020)
Even back then, I could tell that Punkie Johnson would be eternally underused.
Cold Open: The Cleansing of the Temple
Jesus and his disciples are interrupted during the cleansing of the temple.
• A Bible-themed cold open? Gee, wonder what’s gonna happen?
• Surprise, surprise! Trump has interrupted it yet again! I hate how this is becoming a trend lately.
• I’ve already said enough about this routine, so let’s move on.
Monologue
Jon Hamm talks about all the cameos he’s made since his last hosting appearance.
• It feels so satisfying to see him host again. Hard to believe that the last time was almost fifteen years ago! Jesus, I’m old!
• Great montage showing all of the times he’s made cameos since then.
• Ugh, did we really need to see a clip from that awful “Days Of Our Impeachment” thing again?
• And because this season can’t go twenty seconds without a cameo, Kieran Culkin is there for no reason.
Sketch: Check-to-Check Business News Channel
Business related news items for regular folks.
• We’re doing sketches about stocks now??? Who the fuck gives a shit?????
• Some of the knockoff food that Kenan’s showing off is kind of funny, which he then ruins by cracking up in the middle of his scene. Get the fuck off this show, please.
• As if things weren’t desperate enough, now they’re talking about…*sigh*…Funko Pops. Say it with me…HOW DO YOU DO, FELLOW KIDS????
• This has to be the most nothing sketch ever. Whose bright idea was it to lead off with a sketch about fucking tariffs and stocks?
Please Don’t Destroy: Missing Person
Detectives order food while solving a case.
• Haven’t seen these guys in forever. I only have one more of these to look at before I’m done.
• I like how they’re playing actual characters in this one, which they don’t really do too often.
• Was this filmed in an actual police station?
• Not gonna lie, Jon’s character is kind of annoying me.
• Stop trying to make Jane Wickline a thing. Ashley Padilla, on the other hand, just keeps getting better.
• Sorry if I didn’t have much to say there. This has to be one of the most unremarkable Please Don’t Destroy films ever.
Sketch: Guess! The Correct! Answer!
Contestants struggle to answer correctly.
• Is it a requirement for every episode to have a game show sketch now?
• Michael has been playing a lot of game show hosts lately. But who decided that his name should be…ugh, “Marky Mark Brandon Marcus”?
• Do my eyes deceive me? Is that Emil I see in this sketch?
• Nice bit with Jon using himself as the answer to a question about things that are racist.
• WTF? Now we get random farting??? Give me a break!
• And that’s the punchline of this entire sketch????? What a shame! I actually liked where this was going!
• Did they have to cut this down or something? We didn’t even get to see the other two contestants play the game!
Film: The White Potus
Trump and his administration try to relax on a fancy tropical holiday.
• What is this show’s obsession with The White Lotus?
• Chloe takes over as Melania, giving her a Parker Posey voice for some reason. I know Posey is in the actual show, but why couldn’t she just do an impression of Melania? Oh, wait, I’m sure that would have sucked too, so I’m actually kind of glad she took this route instead.
• I’m glad they decided to do something different with the Trump stuff, though I’m kind of lost since I’ve never seen this show. JAJ seems to be going for a more subtle approach to his impression as well.
• Trump just opened a McDonald’s pill bottle! Get it? Because he’s fat!!!!
• Random return of Alex Moffat as Eric Trump. While I was never the biggest fan of those routines, I’m certainly not complaining about seeing Moffat again!
• I do admit to actually getting a laugh from Eric putting his gold watch in a blender because his brother told him “It’s about time”.
• Yay, more member berries! This time, it’s Scarlett Johansson as Ivanka. Remember that “iconic” impression she only did like a couple of times?
• My God, why can’t Chloe shut the fuck up??? Her voice is seriously annoying!
• They actually have Don Jr. bring up how Melania sounds nothing like she’s supposed to, as if that’s supposed to make it funnier.
• Eric continues to give me my only laughs here. I can’t believe I said that.
• Hamm’s RFK Jr. impression is pretty funny.
• I don’t know if Sarah’s playing someone from the show, but she looks really disturbing with those fake teeth.
• Again with portraying Marco Rubio as a decent person? Give it up, SNL! People aren’t going to suddenly like him if he’s played by Marcello!
• No…NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! IT’S THE SHIRTLESS VLADIMIR PUTIN AGAIN!!!!!!!! This is what they bring Beck Bennett back for?!??? Was anybody really clamoring to see his shitty Putin “impression” again???? I sure as fuck wasn’t!
• That part with Trump attempting to shoot Uncle Sam (what?) is so on the nose, and, most importantly, not funny.
• Oh fuck, as if it couldn’t get any more annoying, they’re STILL doing jokes that imply Donald Trump was elected by the Russians, even though that shit was debunked years ago!!!!
• While I definitely liked that they did something different here, it still left a lot to be desired.
Musical Performance: “Love In Real Life”, “Still Bad”
Weekend Update (featuring Chen Biao, Emil Wakim, and Dawn Altman)
• Been a while since Che did a child labor joke.
• I laughed at Colin’s joke about a reporter named “Sheher Theythem”.
• *sigh* As if this episode didn’t have enough pointless returns already, we now get an out-of-nowhere return of Chen Biao, Bowen’s trade minister character that he hasn’t played in years. It sucked like all of his other appearances, so let’s move on.
• I loved the LeBron doll joke.
• Another great joke from Colin, this one about a lazy Mexican Power Ranger.
• Hey, Emil gets another commentary! I can’t wait for more material about how the Middle East was “fine” before America started fighting there!
• I like his series of jokes about Uber Eats drivers.
• Colin has a great line at the end of the commentary about how he can’t wait to see all of the YouTube comments.
• Geez, what does Che have against animals?
• Great joke about putting googly eyes on subway trains.
• Uh-oh, here comes Sarah again. I wonder what’s gonna happen here…
• Yep, more Jost roasting! It’s pretty sad that I can immediately tell what’s going to happen whenever Sarah comes on Update. What happened to those news segments she did a couple of times?
Sketch: New Parents
Two new parents bring their baby to meet their friends.
• Now we’re doing a rehash of an unfunny sketch from the Adam Driver episode from last season?
• So, I guess Bowen had a divorce, because his character is now married to Jon Hamm?
• I’ve lost count of how many couples Heidi and Mikey have played by now.
• I liked Andrew’s line about a place called “Bulge Dungeon”.
• I groaned so loud when Bowen said “The transphobia is real!”
• One positive I can give is that Jon is a lot better in this role than Driver was.
• Random horrifying ending with Lizzo as the baby.
Musical Performance: “Don’t Make Me Love You”
Fake Ad: Herpastopper
The correlation between herpes and recreational activities.
• Here’s a sketch I’ve been waiting to see. My brother told me it was pretty funny.
• The slow-motion footage is already making me laugh. SNL’s been getting some good mileage out of that lately.
• Jon: “If you find yourself doing any of these activities in slow-motion, you may have herpes.”
• Some great satire regarding how a lot of these types of commercials show people doing outdoor activities and other “normal” things.
• Ego’s testimonial is really funny.
• I liked the slam at those annoying Jardiance ads.
• I love the ending scene with Jon rock climbing…which unfortunately means that he has herpes.
• Finally, another strong sketch! This is the kind of stuff I’ve been waiting to see him do!
Sketch: Icebreaker
An office ice breaking session goes horribly wrong when one of the participants shares way too much information.
• Has Bowen been in almost every sketch tonight or what?
• Jon accidentally begins to say his first line when Bowen is about to speak. Such a glaring error that I’m surprised wasn’t edited out for the YouTube upload.
• Jon: “I am Greg, and my mom killed my dad, naked on TV.”
• Okay, this is the second time in the last few episodes that they’ve used my name in a sketch. Is someone at SNL reading my blog????
• I like how all of the questions are gradually becoming about the death of Jon’s father.
• Funny brief mention of Raven-Symone as one of the things that apparently happened to Jon’s father.
• I forgot to mention it, but Andrew is doing a solid job as the anchor of this sketch.
• Great ending where everyone gathers around Jon to watch the video of his father’s death.
Final thoughts: This is definitely a step down to Jon’s past hosting appearances, but, compared to a lot of the shit we’ve had this season, it’s brilliant. Only three more to go…
Best sketches: Herpastopper, Icebreaker
Worst sketches: Cold Open, The White Potus, New Parents
Next review: Quinta Brunson/Benson Boone
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