Today’s Retro Decimator Quote is…
“I’m rather ashamed to admit that I owned Bratz “Boyz” dolls when I was four years old. What? Why are you giving me those funny looks?” (from Selena Gomez/Post Malone, 2022)
Cold Open: MSNBC Report
The news keeps getting interrupted by ridiculous Trump stories.
• Sarah looks downright uncanny as Rachel Maddow. Her voice, however, sounds nothing like her, and the shitty dialogue doesn’t help, either.
• “Woke Sheldon”? Who writes this nonsense?!?
• Ha ha! They just cut to Andrew as Chris Hayes instead of Sarah! Get it? Because Rachel Maddow looks like a man!!!! Herp-a-derp!!!!
• The running “gag” with Marcello as Ari Melber responding with rap lyrics is awful.
• Another baffling attempt at a running gag is this bizarre thing with Stephanie Ruhle (Chloe) flirting with Maddow. I don’t know who this is for, but it certainly isn’t funny.
• Ha ha ha! Trump just mentioned…ugh, the “Rizzler”! It’s funny because he would never do that! Laugh, you sheeple! Laugh!!!!
• This is the only physical appearance JAJ makes in this entire episode! Why do you hate him so much?!??
• *Bowen enters as George Santos and I break into a million pieces* WHYYYYYYYYYYY?!!????????? WHY WHY WHY??!!!???????????? WHY HAVE THEY BROUGHT BACK THIS GODAWFUL “IMPRESSION” AGAIN????? HE’S NOT EVEN IN OFFICE ANYMORE!!!!!!!! I FUCKING HATE BOWEN YANG SO MUCH IT’S UNREAL AREJAUWGRKEJRVRVRBRRMRIEVRFWAL AS DVEJELENRRCRHEIEJEBEVEVEJWOWMWCJEYEUEDNRVEHROEIEVENEEKEU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• *deep breaths* I’m back…sorry about that. I promise not to do that again. It’s just that Bowen Yang really brings out the worst in me.
• TLDR: This show fucking sucks.
Monologue
Dave Chappelle does the longest monologue ever!
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