Okay, now this is going to be a very unusual episode. Here’s a little backstory first. In the week leading up to it, New York City cancelled a lot of special holiday events due to the rise of the Omicron variant. Some people that work on SNL were affected by it, including some of the cast members, like Punkie Johnson. As a result, tonight’s intended musical guest, Charli XCX, was forced to pull out of the show, and there are no musical performances in this episode for the first time ever. But will it still be a good episode despite all of these things working against it? Well, let’s see…
Cold Open/Monologue: Five Timers
Paul Rudd is inducted into the Five Timers Club.
• The first person we see in this is Tom Hanks, the first time he’s appeared on the set since the Season 42 finale.
• Damn, the studio sounds so barren without an audience. Only one guy from the SNL Band showed up, and it was pretty funny seeing him all by himself.
• After explaining the situation, Tom introduces fellow Five Timer Tina Fey. Tina says this isn’t the smallest audience she’s performed for, as she has also done improv inside of Macy’s.
• I’m ashamed to admit I laughed at Tina saying Tom was responsible for starting COVID.
• Our actual host doesn’t show up until a minute and a half into this. But at least he’s a good enough sport to show up at all.
• One of the only cast members to appear tonight is Kenan, who comes out to give Paul his Five Timers jacket. I find Kenan a lot more charming these days when he’s just playing himself, like he is here. I admit I chuckled when he facetiously asked if COVID is even real.
• We then get a filmed message from Steve Martin! This is his first appearance on the show since January 2019, and it feels so good to see him again! The message is actually for Tom, with Paul’s name awkwardly being dubbed over every time he says it. Then Martin Short shows up as a servant, and, despite this being another waste of his talents, this was a much better appearance than that awful Kamala Harris sketch he was in last season.
• Considering how challenging it was to put this show on, this “cold open” wasn’t too bad. Though I feel like I’m only rating it higher because of the presence of these SNL legends returning.
So, basically, tonight’s episode is a mixture between stuff from older episodes, and stuff that they taped earlier in the week before the live show was cancelled. Normally, I wouldn’t review an episode that’s just a glorified clip show, but I haven’t tortured myself on this blog in a while, so I’ll let it slide in this case.
Film: HomeGoods
Two women (Bryant and McKinnon) try to shoot a commercial for HomeGoods, but fail miserably.
• This was shot the night before everything got cancelled, as Paul explains in his intro.
• Ugh, another Bryant/McKinnon pairing. The break from these we got while Kate was absent was nice, but all good things must come to an end at some point.
• Couldn’t they have picked an actual good sketch to lead off this episode with? This is fucking awful, and a perfect display of how out of place Kate and Aidy are in this season. They need to leave as soon as possible.
Repeat: Dick in a Box (from 12/16/06)
Do I even need to say anything?
• YES!!! After the laughless tripe that was the previous sketch, it felt good to have some fun again.
• No matter how many films The Lonely Island guys made, this (and Lazy Sunday) will always be their most iconic. Personally, I’m more of a “Jizz In My Pants” fan, but I doubt they would play that one in a holiday episode.
Film: An Evening With Pete Davidson
We take a trip to the future of 2054, where Pete Davidson has to prove that he’s still got it.
• Paul says that this was completed that morning at 5 AM, probably the last thing they were able to get finished before the announcement was made that they wouldn’t be doing the live show. When introducing the people that appear, he says that Colin Jost is “sort of” in it. I missed that line when I first saw this, but we’ll see what he means…
• This film is entirely in black and white, a nice change of the norm.
• A funny reveal of Pete’s future makeup, where the only change made to him is that he has a receding hairline.
• I laughed out loud at the Colin Jost robot that now hosts Weekend Update. Considering how long he’s been the anchor, I wouldn’t be surprised if SNL eventually goes that route.
• Even in this future setting, Pete’s still doing lame Staten Island jokes. This angers an audience member (Mikey) who wants him to do Chad. Pete eventually relents, and says “Okay” in that unmistakable Chad voice, for what I assume is the last time ever, since Pete said that Chad died for real after that Mars sketch in the Elon Musk episode. But, hey, I’m just glad we got to hear him do the voice again.
• Then Robot Jost malfunctions and has to be extinguished. If only that were the real Colin Jost this was happening to…
• Unfortunately, the rest of the film after that is kind of sappy and boring, definitely not as strong as it started.
Repeat: Santa And His Magical Elves (from 12/5/15)
Masochistic elves try goading Santa into discipline.
• I’ve heard a lot of bad things about these sketches, and after watching this one, I can see why.
• At least it was nice to see Bobby Moynihan and Vanessa Bayer again. They don’t get enough love.
• Was Ryan Gosling high or something? He keeps giggling for no reason.
Repeat: The Global Warming Christmas Special (from 12/8/90)
Various celebrities share facts about global warming.
• Minor nitpick: Tom claims in his intro that this sketch is from 1991. It actually aired in December 1990. I sure hope someone got fired for that blunder.
• The late 80s-early 90s era is severely underrepresented in this episode. I’m glad the sketch they chose for it was this amazing one, which I had never seen before.
• Mike Myers is a riot as Carl Sagan, especially the way he keeps emphasizing certain letter sounds.
• Tom Hanks nails his Dean Martin impression. As soon as he came out and asked where the cue cards were, I was won over.
• Dead on casting of Victoria Jackson as human waste of space Sally Struthers. She perfectly nails Struthers’ sad whimpery delivery that she did in those PSAs she used to appear in. And I also love how Sagan introduces her as “Archie Bunker’s daughter”, as if that’s all she’s ever going to be famous for.
• Amazing part where Sagan chuckles like a moron after making a bad pun about “hot water”.
• Kind of funny in retrospect how Sagan mentions the Aladdin Hotel as being one of the only remaining monuments of Las Vegas after global warming. The Aladdin was imploded in April 1998.
• I got kind of sad when Jan Hooks and Phil Hartman showed up as Crystal Gayle and Isaac Asimov, respectively, but then I felt better once Asimov started singing in his dull monotone voice. Then Gayle calls Sagan a “nerd” after he splashes red paint on her fur coat. All hilarious stuff.
• Dana Carvey’s hilarious Paul McCartney impression makes an appearance here. The voice he uses and the way he nails McCartney’s way of speaking is great. I especially love the brief closeup of Dean Martin’s confused face while McCartney is rambling on about something. That’s apparently writer Christine Zander as Linda McCartney, who has no lines and just silently watches her husband make a fool of himself.
• Nice to see Kevin Nealon here too, wearing tanned makeup as George Hamilton.
• Hamilton’s creepy statements about Dyan Cannon and her “flaky” skin were hilarious.
• Some of the other celebrities Hamilton mentions are a nice retrospective of who was big at the time, such as Rob Lowe, Lorenzo Lamas, and the two Coreys.
• Brief appearance from the real Ralph Nader, who they don’t even allow to speak before introducing the next guests.
• Chris Farley and Julia Sweeney get laughs without even speaking from their brief appearances as Dom DeLuise and Petula Clark.
• Overall, a perfect summary of why this era of the show is my favorite.
Weekend Update (featuring Tina Fey)
• Colin Jost went home after the rest of the show was cancelled, so Tina Fey is filling in for him. Sadly, Michael Che is still there.
• Call me a heretic for admitting this, but I’m not a big fan of Tina as an anchor. She started out okay, but she quickly devolved into a “cutesy” parody of herself. Once she got paired up with Amy Poehler, she was just insufferable.
• Pretty amusing shot of Rudd, Hanks, and Kenan as the “audience”.
• Extremely distasteful joke from Tina about the death of one of the NES’s creators. I’m sure she thought it was cute in dress rehearsal, but, it’s still about someone dying. Try to show some respect.
• The only thing I laughed at was Che’s camel joke, which he says Hanks would like, because it’s about Botox.
• Overall, one of the worst Updates ever. Seeing two of my least favorite anchors together was unbearable.
Film: The Christmas Socks
A man sings a song while helping a little boy buy a pair of socks.
• This sketch was filmed Friday morning. Our original music guest, Charli XCX, makes an appearance in it, obviously before she was forced to drop out.
• I got a laugh out of the album’s name being “Songs in C Manger”.
• This is really sappy, and not the kind of thing you’d expect to see on this show. I admire the cast’s singing voices, though. Except Kenan. Auto-tune just makes him sound weird.
• Apart from the intros, this is the last bit of new material in this episode. It’s all repeats from here on out.
Repeat: A Holiday Wish (from 12/6/86)
Steve Martin’s holiday wishes are increasingly selfish.
• Another all-time classic. What more needs to be said about this one?
Repeat: Holiday Pageant (from 12/15/12)
A man won’t let his musical partner sing during an audition for a Christmas pageant.
• This originally aired in an episode where Martin Short hosted, and Paul McCartney was the musical guest. Both of them appear in this, although I’m a little weary of the corniness of Paul playing a character who can’t sing.
• Cecily plays one of the judges. This was in her first season on the show, and she hasn’t aged a bit. It’s also extremely weird to see her alongside Jason Sudeikis and Fred Armisen.
• Even back then, Kenan was still doing that voice I hate so much, although not as exaggerated as it is today.
• I’m getting Jackie Rogers, Jr. vibes from Short’s character.
• Short and McCartney’s interplay in this is so, so good. It’s like they’ve already been a comedy duo for years.
• Seeing a musical legend like Paul McCartney stand around while awkwardly holding a triangle is hilarious.
• I don’t know how Paul is able to keep a straight face while Short is yelling in his ear.
• Paul: “I was chasing a bird.” Perfectly delivered.
• Turns out this sketch was just a setup to a performance of “Wonderful Christmastime”, which is my favorite Christmas song of all time. Unfortunately, they cut the song from the version of this sketch that aired in this episode! Boooo!!!!!
Repeat: North Pole News Report (from 12/20/19)
• Note: I already reviewed this sketch when I covered the episode it aired in.
Repeat: One Direction Concert Line (from 12/8/13)
• I can’t find any high-quality copies of this sketch online, but I remember it being pretty funny to see Paul Rudd act like a teenaged girl. I’ll update this part once I find it.
Repeat: Now That’s What I Call Christmas (from 12/21/13)
All your favorite artists sing classic holiday hits!
• A classic impression showcase sketch. I’m glad to be reviewing the amazing and underrated Jay Pharoah for the first time on this blog!
• After a surprisingly good Michael Bublé impression from Jimmy Fallon, we get a really bad one of Shakira from Kate McKinnon, which is just her shaking her hips and babbling in a Spanish accent.
• I didn’t know who that was as Zooey Deschanel at first. Then I found out it was Nöel Wells. Don’t worry if you’ve never heard of her. This was her only season.
• Jimmy’s Alan Rickman is spot on. I would have loved to see Rickman host SNL at some point. Too bad he never will…
• Speaking of spot on, Jay Pharoah as DMX is perfectly cast.
• As much as I’ve grown to like Kyle Mooney, his impressions are always pretty bad, such as his bizarre Axl Rose in this sketch. To be fair, though, he was still pretty new when this was made.
• Bobby Moynihan does a better Andrea Bocelli impression than you’d expect.
• Cecily as Alanis Morrisette makes for some nice eye candy. Her singing partner is Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day (played by some guy I’ve never seen before).
• Another terrible McKinnon impression, this time as Lorde. Thankfully, this is overshadowed by Jimmy as Harry Styles jumping around like an idiot.
• Jimmy as Pitbull is a great way to end this, but it’s a casting choice that he unfortunately would never get away with today.
Repeat: Christmastime for the Jews (from 12/17/05)
A heartwarming look at what Jewish people do during the holidays.
• My absolute favorite TV Funhouse sketch. The intentionally broad stereotypes, the beautiful performance by Darlene Love, the line about “Daily Show reruns dancing in their heads”, everything about this sketch works for me. What else can I say? A definite 10/10.
Final thoughts: Overall, how do you even rank this episode? It barely qualifies as one. It was more like a glorified clip show. Because of that, I won’t be doing my usual sketch ranking thing here.
Next review: Ariana DeBose/Bleachers
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