SNL Reviews: JJ Watt/Luke Combs (2/1/2020)

Cold Open: The Impeachment Trial You Wish Had Happened

Judge Mathis (Kenan Thompson) presides over the Trump impeachment trial that the writers wish had happened.

• The cold opens just keep getting worse. As you can tell by the title, this one is just the SNL writers living out their fantasies of a corrupt government.

• Beck Bennett’s awful McConnell impression is back, and so are the dopey faces. His very first line of the sketch is saying “I’m a sneaky little Mitch, your honor.”, while doing a “cute” pose. It’s every bit as scary as it sounds.

• Speaking of scary, McKinnon is back as Lindsey Graham. Please stop making her play men.

• Speaking of having women play men, Cecily Strong debuts a John Bolton impression, where she has a fake mustache and babbles in a Southern accent. I should stop complaining about SNL having women play men that they hate because they are never going to stop.

• Baldwin’s Trump makes his “triumphant” return by entering the courtroom with a walker. This is a reference to a then-recent event where Harvey Weinstein was seen leaving his trial on a walker, to give people the impression that he was weak. The point that SNL is trying to make here is that Donald Trump is a sexual predator, just like Harvey Weinstein. Blecch.

• The cold opening ends on the worst way possible: Mitch McConnell singing, all while he keeps mugging for the camera. Please kill me...

1/5

Monologue

JJ Watt talks about his family and the Super Bowl.

• Watt gives off a good first impression by not screwing up any of his lines in this monologue.

• I must confess that I am not a football fan, so I didn’t get a lot of his football-related jokes. That being said, I did like the mention of his teammates asking him what day SNL is taped on, and the joke about his father being Cleatus the FOX Sports robot.

2.5/5


Sketch: Frozen 2

A commercial shows deleted scenes from Frozen 2.

• Alternate title: PLEASE GIVE US FREE STUFF, DISNEY!!!!

• Our first sketch of the night is a big dick-sucking session for Disney. I wouldn’t have a problem if they actually made fun of the movie, but they don’t. Just another bad sketch to throw in the fire.

• They end this with a dick joke about Olaf’s nose. Seriously?

1/5


Short Film: Robbie

A football team begs their coach to let Robbie (Chris Redd) onto the team, until one player (Watt) speaks out.

• Once again, as someone who isn’t a football fan, I was really bored by this.

• I’ll give them this; it was really well shot and performed. Still not funny, though.

2/5


Sketch: The Sex Talk

A father (Watt) gives his son (Kyle Mooney) “the talk”.

• A sketch with nothing but sex jokes. I’ll pass.

1/5


Fake Commercial: Olay Eye Black

The only under-eye product designed for reducing glare and signs of aging.

• I liked what this was going for, but in the end, it didn’t really come together. Like I said about the Duolingo commercial in the Kristen Stewart episode, this commercial is too expository and talky. It also seems like they’ve done a commercial like this before, but I must be misremembering things.

2/5


Musical Performance: “Lovin’ on You”


Weekend Update (featuring Chen Biao and Dr. Angie Hynes)

• BLAH BLAH BLAH WE HATE TRUMP BLAH BLAH BLAH WE HATE WHITE PEOPLE

• Bowen Yang returns as Chen Biao, a character he introduced in the Phoebe Waller-Bridge episode from earlier this season. This is just like his first appearance in that it was annoying and didn’t make me laugh once.

• I’d like to point out that I can’t stand it when these buffoons laugh at their own jokes, which they do at least five times per episode.

• Ego Nwodim makes her first desk appearance, as Dr. Angie Hynes. She’s here to talk about some lesser known historical black figures for Black History Month. It turns out that all of the people she talks about are people she’s had a beef with in the past; therefore, they are history to her. I actually thought this was a really good commentary! I’m assuming Nwodim wrote this herself, and, if she did, major props to her.

2/5


Sketch: Pilot Hunk

Pat (Watt) meets with the women vying for his heart.

• I like some of the other installments of this recurring sketch, but I wasn’t really feeling it here. It’s probably time to retire it. (EDIT: This is indeed the final appearance of this January staple.)

2/5


Sketch: Madden 21

JJ Watt has some concerns while recording dialogue for the newest Madden game.

• This had some promise. Watt was pretty good here, and I liked Mikey Day’s performance as the director. And, hey, Ego Nwodim gets a second showcase!

• Unfortunately, there’s just something keeping me from liking this more. Watt’s in-game insults toward a kid in a wheelchair would have been funny if there had been more insults like that leading up to it. As it is, it just seems needlessly cruel and offensive.

• At least it ended on a good note with JJ’s hideous in-game avatar. Did they really have to make it “floss”, though?

2.5/5


Fake Commercial: Food Dudes

The new realistic mannequins that can sit with you when ordering food so no one thinks you’re an animal.

• Originally intended for the Adam Driver episode.

• This was probably the best sketch since the Murphy episode. The visual of the mannequins was funny enough, but then they show them eating and it becomes even more hilarious.

• Mikey: “Have fun with your diverse friends!”

• I loved the delivery person’s lines, too. For once, Heidi Gardner didn’t annoy me.

5/5


Musical Performance: “Beer Never Broke My Heart”


Sketch: My Fair Bigfoot

Bigfoot (Watt) is brought into society, but things quickly derail.

• After an initial chuckle at the sight of Bigfoot wearing fancy clothes, this sketch quickly turns into nothing but lame poop jokes. Once again, I think I’ll pass.

1/5


Sketch: Big Willie’s Pizza

A popular pizza delivery man (Watt) loses his job.

• The sex jokes and potty jokes return in one of the worst sketches ever made. Almost every line of dialogue is some kind of sexual innuendo.

• I praised Heidi Gardner earlier, but this sketch reminded me of why I hate her so much. The voices that she and Strong were using in this sketch were extremely annoying.

• We then get the most disgusting thing I have ever seen on this show: Kenan’s character is implied to have eaten a pizza that Watt’s character jizzed on. When I saw this episode for the first time, I immediately turned the TV off.

-5/5


Final thoughts: A slight step up from the last episode, but not by too much. JJ Watt actually didn’t do too bad for an athlete host, but it was completely ruined by all of the juvenile sex and potty humor. Are there thirteen year olds writing for this show?

Best sketches: Food Dudes, Watt’s onscreen avatar in Madden 21, Dr. Angie’s commentary

Worst sketches: EVERYTHING ELSE (Big Willie’s Pizza in particular)


Next review: RuPaul/Justin Bieber