SNL Reviews: Jake Gyllenhaal/Sabrina Carpenter (5/18/24)

 Cold Open: Summer of Trump

Trump discusses various picks for Vice President.

• Great. Another JAJ Trump cold open where he rambles on about stupid shit. No further comment.

Monologue

Jake talks about starring in a movie with Conor McGregor and sings a song about SNL.

• No comment on the 69 joke.

• Ugh, we’re getting a musical monologue to end the season? I guess I should have expected it given his last two monologues.

• Just your typical musical monologue, but with added SNL references.

Sketch: Dad Has a Cookie

A dad turns into a Cookie Monster-esque freak when he’s left alone with cookies.

• Andrew and Jake’s interplay in this sketch is so good.

• Amazing performance from Jake when he’s yelling at Andrew to keep quiet about the cookie.

• Funny twist where it’s revealed that Andrew is allergic to peanut butter after he lies about having eaten a cookie.

• Now this is going all-out crazy!!! I love it!

• Jake delivering the final line of the sketch with cookies in his mouth is the perfect capper.

Film: Scooby-Doo

The gang’s latest capture is not what he seems…

• I must confess that I am not a fan of Scooby-Doo. But I’ll try to go into this with an open mind.

• Never mind, the sketch begins with “We now return to”.

• Mikey’s Shaggy voice is spot-on and hilarious. Perfect casting of Sarah as Velma, too. Jake is Fred, and Sabrina Carpenter is Daphne, because you know they had to get her involved in a sketch somehow.

• Scooby himself is portrayed by some really impressive CGI. This doesn’t look half bad, and they did a great job matching the look of the original show.

• I especially love the use of authentic Hanna-Barbera sound effects.

• Unsurprisingly, James is the villain. The voice he’s doing is really good.

• Call me crazy, but this isn’t too bad so far. I just know they’re going to ruin it in some way, though.

• Yep, there we go. Fred rips off the bad guy’s face and it turns out that it wasn’t a disguise. Wow, never seen that joke before!

• Now we have a total bloodbath going on with Shaggy’s arm getting ripped off and the decapitation of Velma. This honestly feels like a lame variation of that Scrooge sketch from last season.

• I laughed at Fred shooting the moving eyes portrait.

• To make a tepid sketch even worse, we get that overused hacky ending of this being an advertisement for Apple Face ID. PLEASE STOP DOING THAT!!!!!!!

Sketch: Beautiful Boys

A 1940’s singer singing about boys overshadows the showgirls.

• Heidi’s voice is making me worried.

• Some nice eye candy in this sketch.

• Love seeing basically the entire male cast on stage. The only exceptions are Kenan (because he’s in the audience with Heidi) and the Weekend Update morons.

• Funniest lyric: “If you could have your pick, choose the one with the biggest heart!” LOL!!!

• The audience goes nuts when Marcello blows a kiss to them.

• I gotta be honest, this wasn’t too bad for a musical sketch. There was some nice choreography and Jake’s vocals were amazing.

Sketch: Bike Trail

A cyclist interrupts serious conversations between couples.

• I cringed so hard when Jake’s character was revealed.

• Twenty minutes later, I haven’t laughed at all.

• At least it was satisfying when he fell down the hill.

• Unfortunately, that didn’t kill him, as he comes back up the hill with an annoying character played by Bowen. UGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

• For some reason, there are people out there (you know who you are) who actually like this sketch. What are you smoking??? 

Fake Ad: XIEMU

This online marketplace is definitely not shady.

• I like the various cast members’ reactions to the oddly specific things that Chloe is saying in her narration, like how there was “no forced labor” used in the making of these clothes.

• Jake, in response to Chloe asserting that no prisoners were involved: “Did there used to be? Why bring that up?”

• I like the suspicious red marks left behind by Chloe’s necklace. Yes, Chloe is the narrator and one of the customers!

• Nice detail of blood coming out of Jake’s nose after sniffing his shirt.

• Great slogan: “Don’t worry about it”

• For a commercial that essentially had only one joke, this was pretty good.

Musical Performance: “Espresso”

Weekend Update (featuring Two Cicadas, and Rabbi Jill Hausman)

• I chuckled at the doctored image of Trump and Biden trying to get out of bean bag chairs.

• They just had to sneak in one last joke about dangerous airplanes!!!!

• Our last commentary of the season, unsurprisingly, is yet another one where Marcello and Kenan wear retarded outfits and mug for the camera. I have no further comment.

• To quote fellow reviewer Blood Meridian, Marcello should just stick a “Love Me” sign on his back next year.

• We end this horrific Update season with another Joke Swap. Remember last time when they had some random black woman reacting to the jokes? I guess they thought lightning would strike twice, so now we’ve got a rabbi reacting to anti-Semitic jokes. Unlike the last one, however, this lady actually is a rabbi.

• Unsurprisingly, this routine didn’t work as well as before because there’s no element of surprise.

• The only thing that remotely gave me a surprise was when Colin brought out a Jew puppet to deliver the punchline to one joke.

• A fitting end to this season of Godawful installments of Update. I’d like to say that this is the last time we’ll be seeing these two losers, but it isn’t. And, believe me, they get even worse in Season 50…

Sketch: Cancelling Flight

Trying to cancel a Southwest flight is a chore for one man.

• This is a variation of that Cancelling Cable sketch with Kieran Culkin. I didn’t like that one at all, so I’m sure I’m going to hate this one too.

• And, of course, this one is about…airplanes. UGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

• Already a big groan from the “Vaginal Cream” mixup at the beginning.

• A genuinely funny line: “We are trained to say no and see if people just accept it.”

• Chloe Troast makes the most (LOL, that rhymes!) out of her voice-only role and does have some good lines here and there, like the one about going to a different airline if they want better customer service. Sadly, this ends up being her final sketch…and we can’t even see her!!!

• Ego’s playing the same character she played in the Kieran Culkin version. I like her getting mad at Jake for his supposed racism against her for being black.

• I laughed at the part with Longfellow’s operator making a vaguely sexual comment and Jake immediately asking to talk to someone else.

• No comment on Kenan doing that awful Jamaican accent again.

• I’ve never heard James do that particular kind of voice before, even if he does slip into his Trump voice for a bit.

• This is also Punkie’s final sketch. Rather fittingly, she has only fifteen seconds of screentime and a single line.

• I take it Jake is a rap fan? He just quoted DMX out of nowhere, and in that awful bike sketch earlier, he referenced a Jay-Z song.

• Just like last time, this sketch ends with Bowen playing an almighty being.

• I thought this was slightly better than the original version, but that wasn’t saying much.

Musical Performance: “Feather”, “Nonsense”

Sketch: NYPD Press Conference

The police make an impassioned plea to stop punching famous character actors.

• This sketch is referring to a recent incident where someone randomly punched Steve Buscemi. This could be a great concept…

• And here we have Molly’s final appearance. At least it isn’t a drag role.

• Nice criteria for what a character actor is: “Faces you can remember, but names you cannot.” So true!

• I love the list of things that put character actors at risk, such as appearing on Boardwalk Empire.

• Jake: “We’re asking you to avoid mass transit if you ever played a girlfriend on Seinfeld. Or a boyfriend on Sex and the City.”

• A big laugh from the Paul Giamatti line.

• I like how it’s eventually gotten to the point where Jake can’t even remember the character actors’ names, only calling them “this guy” or “this lady”. But he does remember Stephen Tobolowsky, whose name he proceeds to butcher.

• Random Jon Hamm appearance.

• Jake: “So, the next time you see a character actor, don’t punch him! Google him!” Hilarious!!!

• Overall, a hilarious gem, and a nice tribute to our underappreciated character actors.

Sketch: Snake Eyes

Snake Eyes is the least intimidating biker in the West.

• I knew I was in for a great sketch when I saw Andrew in that wig.

• Sarah is giving me some nice eye candy for the second time tonight!

• Oh my God, that ridiculous high-pitched accent that James is doing caught me off guard! For some reason, it reminds me of Ross Perot!

• James later said in an interview that he auditioned for the show with this sketch. I’m glad they allowed him to do it now that he has enough experience.

• In any other sketch, such a character would be extremely annoying, but here, it’s intentional, so I’m laughing.

• Bowen’s character is the only thing I hate here. His gay mugging shtick is so unnecessary in this particular setting.

• Rather fittingly, this sketch (and the whole season) ends with a shot of Snake Eyes’ grave. It’s certainly a lot better than last year’s final sketch, which was just Bowen mugging for the camera.

Final thoughts: And so the season comes to an end. This episode was a lot better than the last few. While there were still a few low points, Jake Gyllenhaal made it all worth it. 

Best sketches: Dad Has A Cookie, XIEMU, NYPD Press Conference, Snake Eyes, Jake Gyllenhaal’s performances in general

Worst sketches: Cold Open, Bike Trail, Weekend Update

Coming up next will be my overview of Season 49! Don’t miss it!!!!

SNL Reviews: Maya Rudolph/Vampire Weekend (5/11/24)

 Cold Open: Mother’s Day

The cast talks about how much they love their mothers.

• It’s been a while since we had one of these. I think the last one was in…ugh, the Elon Musk episode.

• Wait, Kenan has kids? I didn’t know that.

• Kenan’s mom: “I was excited to see who was going to play Stormy Daniels!” Not me, lady!

• I like the photo of what is apparently a naked Andrew in the bath. I doubt that’s really him, though, because the picture looks too recent to be from his childhood.

• Chloe Fineman’s mom sounds exactly like her Jennifer Coolidge impression.

• Punkie with a speaking role again! This is kind of sad in hindsight given that her last episode is next week.

• Now Mikey’s mom is trying to kiss his ass over that awful Beavis and Butt-Head sketch? Please stop shoving that shit down our throats!!!

• Nice to see Molly make fun of how they’re always forced to wear a bald cap.

• I love the home video of little Devon eating corn.

• James’ mom has a big nose too! She’s also an impressionist, which she demonstrates by impersonating the time she took away his Game Boy.

• Marcello’s mom sounds like Sarah doing a Mexican accent.

• I can’t understand a word that Ego’s mom is saying, but I find that really charming. English is clearly not her first language.

• Speaking of big noses, look at the size of Sarah’s mom’s nose! You could land a plane on that thing!

• Nice to see the Please Don’t Destroy guys get involved too. Unfortunately, they were only able to get their dads to come, who are played by three chain-smoking men that are clearly not their real dads.

• Funny sight of Colin with girl hair.

• Overall, another really heartwarming Mother’s Day sketch. I wish they did these every year.

Monologue

Maya sings a song about Mother’s Day.

• Why is she dressed like a cow?

• Bowen’s shtick is getting really old. 

• Because this is Maya, it means that we’re getting a musical monologue. UGGGHHHH!!!!

• Even by Maya standards, this song is just horrible, with some of the worst lyrics I’ve ever heard.

• Now she’s going into a rap about SNL’s history, which would normally be cool, but it’s Maya, so it’s not. It also doesn’t help that she keeps bringing up some of the worst things ever, like Gilly, Lisa from Temecula, and her Godawful Kamala Harris impression (who we thankfully will not be seeing tonight).

Sketch: Hot Ones

Beyoncé returns to try some more really hot wings.

• Not this again. I assume they only brought it back because the real show has inexplicably blown up in popularity as of late.

• I am at least surprised that Mikey brings up the events of the last time they did this. Usually they don’t even bother.

• Just like before, this sketch is just an excuse for Maya to make dumb faces and scream at the top of her lungs, both of which are things she does on a regular basis outside of this sketch.

• I’m not even laughing at the hot sauce names this time.

• Even in this sketch, Maya has to sneak in a bit of singing.

• Kenan’s character only exists to make Maya crack up in a cringeworthy scene where he sprays her with lotion.

• That was even worse than the first time they did this. Hopefully it doesn’t come back.

Please Don’t Destroy: Explore Page

Each of the guys are hiding deep secrets on their Instagram pages.

• Good to see these guys back. I hope it’s an improvement over the disappointing one they did with Ramy Youssef.

• Sarah appears to be playing the character she played in that one installment from the Steve Martin/Martin Short episode.

• I like the shot of Martin hiding his phone in the soup.

• The look of Maya’s character has me worried…

• I thought I was gonna puke when Maya started shaking her topless breasts around. No, I did not make that up. That actually happens in this sketch.

• I like the scenes of Ben swallowing his phone, and Marcello somehow being able to use it from the outside.

• Funny random ending with Ben dying.

• While this was a step up over their last one, it still wasn’t anything special.

Sketch: Teacher PSA

A group of teachers look back on the past school year.

• Andrew’s wig makes him look like Taran Killam for some reason.

• This part with Maya reading off various modern slang is so cringeworthy. I also personally hate the line about her students being on various “spectrums that didn’t exist in 2006”.

•  No comment on Maya saying “Skibidi Toilet”. 

• I love the African-American kid’s poor delivery. 

• Ego’s “TSIDDAHN” routine is really funny.

• Bowen’s mention of Kahoot gave me a blast of nostalgia because I have fond memories of playing that game in high school science class. Unfortunately, I don’t recall anyone ever using dirty names. I would have loved to call myself “Dzickanbools2”.

• James’ voice is hilarious.

• Overall, I thought this was really relatable, despite not being a teacher. I’m sure my mom would get a kick out of it.

Sketch: British Cavemen

A documentary shows us what a day in the life of British cavemen was like.

• Already a huge groan from “You’re watching National Geographic Channel”. I can tell I’m in for an awful sketch.

• James is perfect as the host of this show.

• Unfortunately, as soon as Bowen and Maya started making…*sigh*…British cavemen noises, I lost interest.

• The rest of this sketch consists of almost the entire cast making annoying noises and pulling retarded faces that look like they’re suffering from cerebral palsy. This feels like something that would be on a crappy variety show from the 70s. You know, the kind of shit that SNL was created to mock?

• What the fuck is this even doing on so early? It should be buried after Update!

• Overall, this is one of the worst sketches I have ever seen. It would fit right in with last week’s episode!

Film: Can You Pick Me Up?

A mom makes up excuses for why she has to pick up her daughter.

• I like how the kids are watching the Dragon Babies short from Season 39 at the beginning.

• A fairly relatable premise, even though I was never invited to a sleepover as a kid…

• I like how Maya’s excuses have degenerated to just reciting the lyrics of “Paper Planes”. Remember that shitty song?

• Fun use of Kenan. I love how his excuses are even worse than his wife’s.

• Kenan’s line about taking his daughter to “Girl Jail” was funnier than it should have been.

• This was probably the best use of Maya all night.

Musical Performance: “Gen-X Cops”

Weekend Update (featuring RFK Jr.’s Brain Worm and A Woman Who Says She’s Not Mad)

• We start with a series of groaners about Donald Trump and Stormy Daniels.

• The “Colin is racist” jokes are really getting old.

• FUUUUUUUCK!!!!  Now we have Sarah in a stupid costume as “RFK Jr.’s Brain Worm”!!!

• No way! She just roasted Colin again!! How original!!!!

-• Sadly, I think I’ve come to the conclusion that I HATE Sarah Sherman now. All four (!) of her commentaries this season have been fucking terrible, to say nothing of how bad her sketches have gotten too. What happened to her Sarah News segments? Those were pretty fun! Oh wait, I forgot, we need more time for Bowen and Marcello wearing retarded costumes!

• Continuing our ride of terror, there’s now a Heidi commentary in which she plays a character with an oddly specific name. All I need to tell you is that it sucked like all of her commentaries as of late.

• Weekend Update continues to go further downhill. These last few episodes are really testing my patience…

Sketch: Coffee Commercial

An aging diva won’t stop farting throughout a commercial shoot.

• I like the subtle joke from Heidi about how Dawn Farraway is a three-time Oscar presenter.

• As soon as Maya’s character started talking, I hated her.

• Not only is her voice annoying, but she’s also an asshole to everyone!

• Aaaaaaand now we get a huge fart.

• This has degenerated into nothing but farts. Please end this!!!!

• Overall, I can’t believe they would put this on the air.

Musical Performance: “Capricorn”

Sketch: National Nurses Week

Nurses complain about their creepy elderly patient.

• I groaned as soon as we cut to Ego speaking in a Jamaican accent.

• I love whenever Mikey plays old men.

• This is so boring. It makes me want to fall asleep.

• No comment on the random inclusion of a dog wearing shades. You see, the joke is that they just stuck a cute animal in the sketch for no reason!

Sketch: Lanzetti’s Lawn Care

A couple advertises their unique lawn care company employed by socially-awkward losers.

• Ugh, it’s another one of those “two people advertise a company they own” sketches that I abhor with a passion.

• A good laugh from the type of people that the company hires.

• Another pretty good Kenan role with his various silly voices.

• James proves how essential he is yet again. 

• Andrew randomly screaming “HELL YEAH DUUUUDE!!!” and hugging his customer was hilarious.

• Am I going crazy? Did I actually enjoy a “two people advertise a company they own” sketch??? With Maya of all people?????? The world is coming to an end!!!!

Cut for Time: T.T. And Mario

The famous duo have a new album out.

• I like the oddly sexual framing scenes with Longfellow and Fineman.

• Random return of this sketch from Maya’s tenure. Given that it involves Maya singing, I’m not exactly eager to see where this goes.

• Maya just mentioned a “terlet”? Gee, I wonder who wrote this?

• In all fairness, though, I’m not hating this sketch so far. Maya’s voice, while annoying at first, is a good imitation of cheesy 70’s soul singers. You know, just like her mother, Minnie Riperton.

• I love the name of their new album: “Married Too Long (Booty In The Rearview)”

• I love Michael’s blunt “No.” when Chloe asks if the title of the album is supposed to be a sexy pun.

• I always forget how good Kenan’s singing voice is when it isn’t being “enhanced” with Auto-Tune.

• As funny as the actual songs are, I think I prefer the scenes with Michael and Chloe.

• Now I really am going crazy! I actually liked a sketch with Maya Rudolph singing!!! Somebody please pinch me!

Final thoughts: While this was definitely a step up from last week’s horror show, it still wasn’t anything special. Maya was her usual annoying self in most sketches, though there were a few parts where she surprised me, and I’m especially glad that her Kamala “impression” didn’t show up. If only Season 50 would grant me that same mercy…

Best sketches: Mother’s Day, Can You Pick Me Up, Lanzetti’s Lawn Care, T.T. And Mario (Cut)

Worst sketches: Monologue, Hot Ones, British Cavemen, Weekend Update, Coffee Commercial

Next review: Season 49 comes to an end with Jake Gyllenhaal/Sabrina Carpenter. We also bid farewell to Molly Kearney, Punkie Johnson, and Chloe Troast.

SNL Reviews: Dua Lipa (5/4/24)

 Cold Open: Community Affairs

Parents discuss college protests.

• “You’re watching NY1, which means your wi-fi is down.” UGGGHHHH!!!!

• Do my eyes deceive me? Is that Longfellow I see with a lead role????

• Kenan’s role here is another typical fast-talking Kenan role that he can play in his sleep by now.

• I’m also disheartened to see Longfellow fumbling over his lines. Maybe he’s just a little rusty since he hasn’t had a lead role in forever.

• Yeah, this cold open is just a bunch of nothing. Already a bad sign that we’re gonna have a rough episode…

Monologue

Dua Lipa takes questions from the audience.

• I like it when we see the host’s parents.

• Really? A Q&A monologue? Something tells me this was a rough week backstage.

• Bowen is the only guy in the cast who doesn’t look funny in a mustache. He just looks gayer than usual.

• Random and pointless appearance from Heidi as the South Dakota governor.

Sketch: Young Spicy

An up and coming rapper needs help with his producer tag.

• This sketch from the Ana DeArmas episode is now recurring for some reason. The only thing I can remember about that sketch is that it had Kenan shouting like an annoying stereotype.

• Eh, this isn’t the worst thing I’ve seen all season, but it’s unremarkable.

• Ego: “Ooh, Spicy, why you DMin’ high schoolers?” Okay. I will admit that the delivery of this line gave me a laugh.

• I also got a chuckle from Ego asking why he’s so limp-wristed.

Film: The Anomalous Man

A young lady’s Elephant Man-esque lover is sexting behind her back.

• Gorgeous sets and costume design here.

• Perfect casting of James as an English nobleman.

• This actually starts out pretty promising, but then we actually see the titular Anomalous Man, and it turns out to be Sarah in drag yet again. I don’t care that it’s “deformed” drag, it’s still drag!

• In all fairness, the makeup on Sarah is amazing. You’d swear they actually got Rick Baker or someone to do it!

• Ugh at the twist with the Anomalous Man somehow having a modern day cellphone for “sexting” people.

• I can’t believe they would ruin it like that! Man, Sarah just keeps disappointing me lately. There’s still two episodes left for her to turn it around, but it doesn’t look good.

Sketch: Good Morning Greenville

News anchors obsess over the Kendrick/Drake feud.

• James’ intro song is pretty funny, but that only gives you the false impression that this sketch will be good.

• Heidi and Mikey’s Southern accents are giving me bad vibes, as is the fact that Heidi’s name is “Gail Gohnson”. Despite these Anderlette-esque traits, this sketch was apparently written by Colin Jost and Bryan Tucker.

• I am not a fan of the focus suddenly switching to the Kendrick Lamar/Drake feud, something that I was totally unaware of when this aired, because I don’t give a shit about rap.

• None of the mispronounced rapper names from Mikey and Heidi are making me laugh.

• I did kind of chuckle at Mikey asking the black weatherman (Devon) what his thoughts were, with the implication being that, since he’s black, he must like rap.

• “Wanda Wheems”??? This really does feel like an Anderlette sketch.

• Dua’s Southern accent is surprisingly good, but it feels disheartening to see her in this crap.

• Heidi brings back awful memories of the previous episode when she starts cracking up during her “diss track” about Mikey.

• The shot of the weatherman hiding is pretty funny.

• No comment on the scene where the anchors start using stick puppets of Drake and Kendrick.

• Overall, this episode continues to die a horrible death. Devon was the only saving grace here.

Sketch: Sonny Angels

A woman’s obsession with “Sonny Angel” dolls creeps out her new boyfriend.

• Finally, Marcello with a role that’s more like how he used to be.

• Oh no, all of a sudden we have Bowen as one of the dolls. And, unsurprisingly, he’s playing this particular role as you would expect: gay as hell.

• At one point, Marcello blatantly calls attention to the fact that they’re using music from Challengers. Whew, thank goodness they pointed that out, because I thought this was an advertisement for the movie!

• No comment on the bizarrely sexual churro eating scene.

• This episode is just killing me so far!

Fake Ad: Penne alla Vodka

The treat that unites us in times of tragedy and sadness.

• Molly’s only appearance in this episode. Could it be any more obvious that they’re not coming back next season?

• I’ll be honest, I don’t get the joke here, but compared to all of the shit that we’ve seen in this episode so far, it’s brilliant.

Musical Performance: “Illusion”

• What’s with the random Troye Sivan appearance? I take it Sarah was responsible for getting him on?

Weekend Update (featuring Kristi Noem’s dog, JoJo Siwa, and Jerry Seinfeld)

• Another fucking “seen here” joke.

• God, these Updates have gotten way too loose. Che and Jost can’t go a minute without cracking up at themselves.

• A genuinely strong joke from Che about Japan’s xenophobia.

• Oh shit, it’s another Marcello commentary. This time, he’s wearing a “silly” dog costume. I liked this commentary better the first time…(David Spade voice) when it was Daniel Radcliffe doing it! (Spade voice off) Yeah, I know I already did the Spade joke last time, but I couldn’t resist!

• Does Marcello have the record for the fastest decline from a cast member? I know Sarah’s pretty close, but it really shocks me how quickly it happened to him. The first half of this season, I was actively cheering whenever he got a lead role, but now I dread whenever he does.

• Are you serious?!?? Now we have a Chloe commentary??? This episode really has it out for me!

• This time, she’s dug out her old JoJo Siwa “impression” thanks to her recent change in appearance. As soon as she comes out (lol), she starts going spastic for the camera like the fame hungry hack she is.

• I honestly don’t know what to say about this one. Having never heard a single piece of Siwa’s music, this holds no interest to me. Surely the next commentary won’t be any worse…

• Holy shit, Jerry Seinfeld???!!?? Boy, does he look tired as fuck. I would be too if I had to sit through two fucking awful commentaries.

• Please don’t mention Ryan Gosling! I’ve had enough of his shitty antics lately!

• When I’m not even laughing at a Jerry Seinfeld commentary (sorry, Jerry!), you know things are fucked up. This is one of the worst Updates I’ve had to sit through in a long time.

Sketch: OBGYN

Two new parents visit an OBGYN for the first time.

• The set-up of this sketch had me worried that it would be another one of those baby monitor sketches with Sarah and Bowen.

• “Fat Daddy”? Oh boy, what am I in for this time?

• This is a typical modern Kenan role: overly loud, hammy, and annoying.

• Not helping matters is Mikey’s typical reacting routine.

• Punkie makes her sole appearance of the night as a silent extra. This is honestly getting depressing. 

• Speaking of depressing, this fucking episode. 

Musical Performance: “Happy For You”

Film: Teeny Tiny Awareness Pins

The perfect way for celebrities to show their support for important issues.

• As someone who’s tired of celebrities feeling like they have to speak up about things they have no involvement in, this is a pretty good concept.

• I like the shots of various people trying to get a closer look at the pins.

• Random appearance from Chloe as some celebrity I’ve never heard of.

• Some funny examples from the “Vague Collection” of pins.

• Wow, an actual strong bit of satire? I thought modern SNL was allergic to satire!

Sketch: Jingle Pitch

Soul Booth guys pitch sexy songs for a flooring company.

• We’re bringing back the Jingle Pitch guys again? The original sketch was one of my favorites from last year, but I’m wary of how well a sequel is going to go.

• I’ve been enjoying all of Dua’s attempts at American accents tonight. This one, where she’s trying to do like a Brooklyn accent or something, is probably the best/worst.

• Rightful applause when Andrew and James enter.

• I like how James’ keyboard starts making music before he even touches it.

• A big laugh from how their first jingle is just them shouting each individual number of the company’s phone number.

• Bowen’s character is kind of annoying, but thankfully he’s not the main focus. Also, why does he keep looking away from Dua when he says his lines?

• Once again, the last jingle is really catchy.

• I didn’t think it was possible, but somehow, this was just as good as the original! 

Final thoughts: Thank God it’s over!!! That was one of the most painful episodes I’ve had to sit through in a long time! While Dua Lipa did her best all night, it couldn’t save the horrible material she was forced to take part in. 

Best sketches: Jingle Pitch

Worst sketches: Cold Open, Good Morning Greenville, Sonny Angels, Weekend Update, OBGYN

Next review: NOOOOOO!!!!! It’s fucking Maya Rudolph!!!

SNL Reviews: Ryan Gosling/Chris Stapleton (4/13/24)

 Cold Open: Close Encounter

Mrs. Rafferty and others have been abducted yet again.

• What. The. Fuck? NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Not this shitty sketch again!!!!! Why are they doing this to me??? Last time I checked, they already gave it a proper conclusion in Season 47! 

• So, yeah, that means we get an unwelcome return from Kate McKinnon and her dumb mugging face.

• The giggles from Gosling have started already…

• Fun fact: I came into this episode’s premiere late, and the first thing I saw when I turned it on was Kate getting between Ryan’s legs. Needless to say, it was a horrifying sight.

• What else is there for me to say about this horrid crap? If this ends up being the final installment of this sketch, I will be very, very happy.

Monologue

Ryan Gosling reminisces about starring as Ken in the Barbie movie.

• Jesus Christ, a musical monologue. I was kind of expecting one given the movie he was just in, but still, this is not the way I want to start an episode.

• Huge applause when he puts on the fur coat he wore in the movie.

• Emily Blunt is now here for some reason. And then the two of them sing a Barbie number. I hope they weren’t trying to surprise us with that, because I could see the “Barbieland” sign when Ryan walked onstage.

• Oh, but it gets worse. Now they start to sing about, *sigh*, Oppenheimer. Get it??? Because it’s like those retarded memes that were popular last year!!!!

Sketch: The Engagement

A newly-engaged man whispers his escape plans to a friend.

• Not sure about this turn with Ryan whispering everything he says to Andrew. What is this, an ASMR video?

• Aw shit, the Gosling Giggles are back, complete with a long applause break when it happens.

• Yeah, this sketch is not for me. If you’re into ASMR or unprofessional giggling, you might like it.

Film: Get That Boy Back

A woman gets revenge on her boyfriend.

• Ugh, Chloe Fineman’s latest annoying Southern-accented character is the first thing I see. Thankfully, the other Chloe is here, too, so we might not be in for a bad sketch just yet…

• Nice to see Chris Stapleton involved with this.

• I’ve lost count of how many times Heidi has worn that wig and glasses.

• I’m surprised, this song is actually a lot of fun so far. But I feel like the reason it works so well is because of the visuals. If you only heard the song, you wouldn’t think it was so special.

• Nice prosthetics on Troast’s Romanian disguise.

• Troast’s unexpected appearance in a green bodysuit caught me off guard.

• Overall, probably the best musical piece in a while.

Sketch: Can’t Tonight

Two guys try to convince their friend to go out with them.

• Uh-oh, time for another Marcello sketch. It’s finally gotten to the point where seeing him in a lead role fills me with dread.

• Also worrying me is the sight of Kenan in that wig and the horrid voice he’s doing.

• Sarah’s bizarre “I love countries!” statement made me laugh.

• What is even happening? So far, the only joke is that Hispanic people talk funny. 

• This whole “Paramount Ploos” routine is extremely hacky.

• This sketch feels like an unironic version of Fericito, Fred Armisen’s stand-up comedian from Venezuela. The only difference is that Fericito was supposed to be unfunny. This, on the other hand, takes all of the overdone stereotypes that Fericito embodied and just plays them all straight. All that’s missing is an annoying catchphrase.

Sketch: Beavis & Butt-Head

A serious discussion on AI is interrupted by two suspicious looking characters.

• Hooooo boyyyy….this is a sketch I’ve been dreading to watch again…

• This sketch was originally written for Season 43, but Mikey wasn’t able to get it on the air until now. Why do I bring this up? Because we are then given the sight of Gosling in a shitty Beavis costume. That’s right, this sketch is a semi-sequel to the hilarious Google Talk sketch with Mikey as “Bert Sampson”. Unlike in that one, where they gradually build up to the reveal of Mikey’s character, here they just drop in Beavis for no reason.

• It should be noted that Beavis’ shirt says “Death Rock” instead of AC/DC, just like on the toys. 

• In the original Season 43 version, Beavis was played by Alex Moffat. I definitely would have preferred his take.

• Heidi breaks a bit when she sees Gosling in that costume, but holds it together for the most part…

• The only laugh I’ve gotten so far is Heidi saying that she’s never seen the cartoon because she was busy being pretty. But even that is just recycled from Jessica Chastain’s great line from the original: “People called me a nerd before I got, like, pretty.”

• It should go without saying that I do not care for Kenan pointing everything out as it happens.

• Now there’s a Butt-Head lookalike too, and the whole routine repeats itself.

• Heidi takes one look at Butt-Head, and completely loses it. When I saw this live, I couldn’t believe what was happening. This isn’t the fun kind of breaking like in the original Debbie Downer sketch, this is just plain unprofessional. From what I’ve heard, the breaking was even worse in dress rehearsal.

• Even after Heidi is finally able to say her line, she just won’t stop chuckling. Was it really that funny, Heidi?

• The tweet asking if Cornholio needs TP for his bunghole is just a ripoff of the “Ay carumba!” tweet from the original Bart Simpson version.

• Ugh, now Gosling is laughing again.

• The ending with the King of The Hill lookalikes (complete with Molly as Bill because isn’t typecasting great?) was just awful. 

• Overall, what a giant mess. They took one of my favorite sketches from the past decade and shit all over it. And the worst part is that this sketch actually became a hit! The shill media just went crazy for it, unaware that it was an inferior rewrite of a much better sketch from six years ago!

Musical Performance: “White Horse”

Weekend Update (featuring Michael Longfellow and Caitlin Clark)

• Since OJ Simpson died the week before this episode, we get some pretty good OJ jokes here. Kenan also had a desk commentary as an angel version of OJ that was thankfully cut after dress rehearsal.

• Jesus fucking Christ, enough with the “seen here” jokes!!!!

• For the first time in forever, we get a Michael Longfellow commentary. He was on every other week last year, so why are they afraid to use him now? Oh right, I forgot, they need more time for “wacky” costumes and Bowen acting like a stereotype!

• Something about Longfellow’s dry delivery is making his lines funnier than they actually are. He would make a great anchor for Update.

• “Hey, girls, it’s Longfellow. Don’t get excited, it’s just a name.”

• While this wasn’t terrible, it was kind of bland compared to the last one he did with the cigarette.

• Color me shocked! Michael Che just told a sexist joke about a WNBA player!!! I have never seen that before! 

• Oh, fuck, it turns out that the reason for that joke is because they were setting up a “surprise” cameo from Caitlin Clark.

• While it is satisfying to see this douchebag get put in his place, I kind of feel like it’s way too late for this to be happening. Maybe in his third or fourth season it would’ve been cute, but not in his TENTH.

• Overall, another lousy Update. This season just gets worse and worse.

Sketch: Doctor

A doctor weirds out an entire family by munching on Cookie Crumbles.

• Why has James barely been in this episode?!? He made a three second cameo as Hank Hill earlier, but this is his only lead role! And, of course, it’s just a “reacting” role.

• UGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! Bowen enters as this weird character he played in the airplane sketch from the Nate Bargatze episode. For some reason, he’s now been given his own sketch.

• And now Gosling enters as another crazy character? I am not liking this sketch so far…

• Oh shit, now the giggles are back! This time, it’s Bowen who’s being an unprofessional asshole.

• Now this sketch has degenerated into Ryan and Bowen feeding each other just so they can crack up about it. Please end this fucking shit!!!!

• Overall, one of the worst sketches of the entire season, and it encapsulates everything I hate about Bowen Yang and Ryan Gosling. But mostly Bowen.

Musical Performance: “Mountains Of My Mind”

Sketch: Erin Brockovich

A deleted scene from Erin Brockovich is shown.

• Ah, yes, the current and relevant movie Erin Brockovich. This sketch sure would have been a great idea…twenty years ago!!! What is it with this season and parodying out of date movies???

• Now Gosling is laughing for no apparent reason. Can someone tell him that this isn’t high school anymore?

• While a lot of my fellow reviewers like this sketch, I’m not really feeling it so far. Maybe I need to have seen the movie to understand it?

• Okay, I will admit that Kenan’s character is really funny with his random sound effects. I’m shocked that Kenan is my favorite part of a sketch for once!

“GO TO YOUTUBE, X, INSTAGRAM, TIKTOK TO SEE PAPYRUS 2 LATER TONIGHT”?

What? WHAT THE FUCK?!!??? I have never seen SNL do something like this before!!! What a fucking lazy and awful decision! But, hey, let’s do what it says and finish this review!

Cut for Time: Papyrus 2

After spending years trying to avoid it, Steven is finally confronted with his nemesis once again…

• A sequel to a very popular sketch from Ryan’s last episode. I must confess that I have never seen the original, but I’ll go into this with an open mind because I’ve heard so many good things about it.

• I like how they’re giving a recap of the original sketch for those who haven’t seen it, which is really handy for me! Now I’m all caught up!

• Great to see Kyle Mooney again!

• Nice special effects when Ryan starts to hallucinate seeing the Papyrus font everywhere.

• I like how his character’s name is “Steven Wingdings”.

• Kyle’s dramatic speech is actually kind of heartwarming. 

• I’m glad I was still able to enjoy this even without seeing the original. But what does it tell you that the best sketch of the night was cut at the last second???

Final thoughts: Jesus, what a mess. I feel like I’ve gone back in time to Season 30 or something. Okay, maybe it wasn’t that bad, but it still made me feel dead inside. Words can not describe how unprofessional and unfunny a lot of this episode was, with most of the blame going to Ryan “Giggles” Gosling. I hope they never have him back as a host.

Best sketches: Get That Boy Back, Chris Stapleton’s performances, Papyrus 2 (Cut)

Worst sketches: Close Encounter, Can’t Tonight, Beavis & Butt-Head, Weekend Update, Doctors

Next review: Dua Lipa

SNL Reviews: Kristen Wiig/RAYE (4/6/24)

 Cold Open: March Madness Post-Game

The NBA on TBS crew discusses March Madness.

• Yippee, a sketch about something I have no interest in. At least it’s not a political sketch for once.

• JAJ debuts an impression of Ernie Johnson, and, knowing him, it’s probably spot on.

• I liked the part where Kenny Smith (played by Devon) starts singing “Benny and the Jets”, and Johnson informing him that they’ll have to have to pay royalties to Elton John now.

• Pretty funny line from Kenan as Charles Barkley talking about how many companies Caitlin Clark is doing ads for, and saying that he’s only doing ads for three of those companies. 

• Heidi’s actually doing a somewhat different Southern accent than usual for her role. I don’t know if this is because she’s imitating someone else or not, but I appreciate the switch up.

• The line about “resting QAnon face” was pure cringe.

• This was surprisingly tolerable for a cold open. If only the rest of this episode would grant me the same mercy…

Monologue

Kristen joins the Five-Timers Club.

• Rare speaking role by Lenny Pickett!

• It only takes a minute for this to become crowded with cameos, as Paul Rudd suddenly appears in the audience.

• “Awesome celebrity cameos”? Way to pat yourselves on the back, guys.

• Our second Paula Pell cameo of the season. She looks even more like a lesbian than usual.

• Matt Damon??!!?? He’s not even a Five-Timer!!! Oh wait, they have him do this lame joke about how his first time hosting was so good (I beg to differ) that it “counted for three”.

• UGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Fred fucking Armisen yet again!!! On a lighter note, though, we get the return of Will Forte for the first time since his awful hosting stint a couple seasons ago! Oh, and Martin Short and Jon Hamm are there too, for some reason.

• Please don’t remind us of your awful Brett Kavanaugh impression, Matt. 

• One last pointless cameo from Ryan Gosling, which reminds me that I have to review his horrible episode after this one.

• Does anybody really get excited for these Five-Timer sketches anymore? Nothing can beat the original, and that was 35 years ago!

Sketch: Jumanji

A woman hates board games because she’s afraid of being “Jumanjied”.

• The constant repetition of “Jumanji” is really getting on my nerves.

• Aaaaaaaand…this is still going on twenty minutes later.

• The only thing that makes sitting through this repetitive sketch worth it is the random appearance of Will Forte as a creepy train conductor. Why couldn’t the whole sketch have this character in it???

• I did like Kristen’s character leaving everyone to die at the end.

• I know this sketch seems to be really popular, and to its credit, it is well performed. But I’ve never been a fan of sketches where they keep repeating a word or phrase over and over again. (See also: “Aw man, I’m all out of cash!”)

Fake Ad: Pilates

Two women try a Pilates class for the first time, not knowing the horrors that await them...

• Holy shit, Molly still exists!

• I love the announcer’s voice. Very dramatic and different from the usual Steve Higgins voiceovers.

• Great concept of treating an exercise program like a horror movie.

• Kristen is really, really good here. This is the kind of stuff I want to see her do, instead of her constant annoying “wacky” characters.

• Creepy visual of Ego stretching her leg to an inhuman angle.

• Figures that Bowen would be cast as a gay man with no underwear.

• My favorite creepy part is Molly calling in to inform them that they can’t come in today, only for the lady on the phone to somehow show up in Molly’s house.

• Punkie randomly shows up only to die immediately after. A perfect summary of how useless she’s been lately.

• I did not think I was going to like this as much as I did, but something about it just worked for me.

Sketch: Secretaries

Two wacky secretaries flirt with a lawyer.

• Why are we bringing this shitty sketch from the premiere back? Heidi has been doing pretty well so far this season, but this character had nothing to do with that.

• Nice to see Jon Hamm in this sketch. I mean, it makes sense, right?

• Heidi’s voice as this character is still very annoying.

• Now we have Kristen playing a second secretary??? This can’t be good…

• No comment on the scene where Heidi licks Hamm’s necktie.

• This is pretty much the same as the first installment of this sketch, except there’s two annoying secretaries this time instead of one.

• It looks like Kristen messed up her pratfall into the desk, as it doesn’t break apart right away, so she has to move around a bit to make it break.

• As if this couldn’t get any worse, Bowen starts cracking up at the lame jokes. Have I made it clear that I absolutely hate this man?

• I think that may have been worse than the last time they did this.

Sketch: Retirement Party

Jerry’s party is invaded by oddball characters.

• The return of these recurring “toast” sketches from Season 34.

• Surprisingly, this is the first we’ve seen of Mikey all night. 

• I love the headshot of Kenan in the background.

• Bowen’s character wasn’t necessary.

• “Gits n’ Shiggles” is a pretty good name for an improv group.

• Fred: “I wish we could talk about how much fun we’ve had over the years, but HR is here, a.k.a. ‘The Sex Police’”.

• Nice return appearance from Kristen’s oxygen tank lady.

• I even laughed at Marcello’s crude fart routine.

• YES!!! Will is back as Hamilton, the creepy anti-Obama guy!!!! His new beard makes him look even more disturbing!

• By the time he got to the end of his speech and mentioned “Joseph Hussein Biden”, I was in tears.

• Definitely the highlight of this episode.

Musical Performance: “Escapism”

Weekend Update (featuring The Earthquake and The Eclipse, and Aunt Linda)

• Colin: “Well, yesterday, everyone in New York pretended they felt an earthquake.”

• Did you know that Michael Che hates women’s basketball??? What an unexpected and cutting edge joke!!!

• Ugh, time for another awful “mascot” commentary, this time with Marcello playing an earthquake, and Kenan playing the solar eclipse. I liked this commentary better the first time…(assumes David Spade voice) when it was called “El Niño”! (Spade mode off)

• I swear, Che has laughed at every single one of his jokes tonight. Can we please get rid of him?

• Call it a hunch, but I think someone on the writing staff really hates airplanes. As if we couldn’t tell from the one million airplane jokes we’ve had in the last few months.

• I had a feeling that we’d be getting an appearance from one of Kristen’s Update characters in this episode, but I wasn’t expecting it to be Aunt Linda, her first appearance since 2010. For those who don’t remember, she was that old lady who made rambling critiques on movies.

• She just called Colin “Seth”! What a hilarious and original joke!!!

• Colin, can you please stop explaining all of Aunt Linda’s jokes? Not that they were funny to begin with, but you don’t need to make them worse!

• Ooh, now they’re mixing it up. She just called Colin “Tina and Amy”! How original! It also makes no sense, given that she never appeared with Tina!

• I laughed at Aunt Linda saying that she thought The Bear was going to be about a hairy gay man raising kids.

• While Aunt Linda is definitely one of Kristen’s least annoying characters, I still didn’t want to see her come back. 

• I can’t tell you what the last commentary I actually enjoyed was. This has been an awful year for Update, and it only gets worse…

Sketch: Go-Karts

Parents try to delay a bad secret.

•  I love the look of James’ character.

• This is a really hard sketch to put into words, but it’s an excellent example of cringe comedy. It fills you with a sense of dread while also being really funny.

• I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m really liking Kristen Wiig in tonight’s episode. More on this later when I wrap things up, but she hasn’t been annoying!

• James: “How would you all feel if I started drinking again?”

• Even the obvious twist at the end where we don’t get to hear the “bad thing” was well worth it.

Musical Performance: “Escapism”

Sketch: La Maison Du Bang!

PBS takes a look back at a pioneering French variety show.

• This sketch has been in the works since the Timothee Chalamet episode.

• I’m sick of when SNL has the hosts of their TV sketches say stuff like “I do this now” when introducing themselves.

• Making me worried is the fact that Chloe Fineman and Bowen are the two leads of this sketch.

• To Bowen’s credit, his French is really, really good.

• I’m loving all the Troast in this episode! Her scene here is really funny: she takes a drag off her cigarette, and her beautiful singing voice inexplicably gets rougher.

• I’m surprised at how much I’m enjoying this sketch on my rewatch.

• Good use of Kenan’s sex offender routine.

• Mikey’s scene as the creepy mime is my favorite part, especially the music that plays.

• Even though this sketch is definitely not something I would normally like, the energy was so infectious that I just can’t hate it.

Final thoughts: Am I going crazy or what? For a Kristen Wiig-hosted episode, this wasn’t that bad! In fact, I think it might be one of the strongest of the entire season! As shocking as it is for me to admit this, the reason for that is Kristen herself! To quote Jeff Montgomery, “Whaaaaat?”

Best sketches: The ending of Jumanji, Pilates, Retirement Party, Go-Karts, La Maison Du Bang

Worst sketches: Secretaries, Weekend Update

Next review: Ryan Gosling/Chris Stapleton. Now here’s an episode I was dreading to see again…

SNL Reviews: Ramy Youssef/Travis Scott (3/30/24)

 I don’t think I ever saw this episode, so I’m going to keep an open mind here…

Cold Open: Easter

Trump advertises his new God Bless the USA Bible.

• The Biblical intro to this sketch is somewhat impressive.

• Unfortunately, this then turns into another one of those instances where Trump interrupts the sketch to promote himself. I hope this doesn’t become a trend for every Easter episode now.

• Ha ha, Trump just quoted an Eminem song! It’s funny because he would never do that!!!

• Basically the same as every JAJ Trump appearance, so what do I even need to say that I haven’t said before?

Monologue

Ramy does standup about religion, Arabs, and Palestine.

• When was the last time we had a Muslim host? Kumail Nanjiani back in Season 43?

• Some of his stories about growing up as a Muslim are really heartwarming. I like the part where he hesitates to specifically name Muhammad.

• While not too bad, this was way too long.

Sketch: Couple Goals

Couples compete to see who knows their partner the best.

• “Bob Dabilda” again? Of all the JAJ characters I wanted to see come back…he was not one of them. 

• I like the sponsor plug for Swiffer.

• So far, we’re getting the same formula as the previous installment. 

• I do like Ramy’s question asking whether or not the police will be able to read his text messages after destroying his phone.

• I like Mikey’s delivery of “I didn’t know we’d have to show our answers to everyone!”

• Hilarious bit from Ego about Ramy preventing her from jumping off of a waterfall until there were other people watching.

• While this was pretty much the same as before, I’d have to give this one an edge over the first one, mainly because it doesn’t end with Kenan bugging his eyes out like an offensive stereotype.

Please Don’t Destroy: We Just Got High

The guys sing a song about getting high.

• It takes about thirty seconds for this to suddenly turn into a rap song by Travis Scott. 

• For once, I’m not laughing at a Please Don’t Destroy short. Is that even possible? What’s been happening to these guys lately?

• If you think weed is the funniest thing ever (looking at you, Seth Rogen), you may like this song. But not me! Probably the weakest PDD short since that one with Taylor Swift, which was also a musical sketch. I would say that they need to stay away from musical sketches, but one of my favorites from last year was the one where they were in the car with Jenna Ortega, and that one had a song in it.

Sketch: Immigrant Dad Talk Show

A talk show where immigrant fathers discuss their children.

• How many times has Marcello used this particular voice by now? It’s getting old. I generally still like him at this point, but he is slowly getting on my nerves…

• On the other hand, Ramy’s accent is really funny. I’m guessing he’s imitating somebody in his family who talks like that.

• Kenan’s role is so unnecessary. Again, how many times has he played a character like this?

• I like Ramy’s character just casually using a hookah while Marcello is blabbering on.

• Okay, I did get a laugh from Marcello’s “thesis” pun, even if it was a little reminiscent of that sketch he did with Bad Bunny and Pedro Pascal earlier this year.

• Here’s Mikey playing his 1,000th awkward dad character.

• Mikey: “(to Marcello) Hola! And…(to Ramy) your thing!”

• Andrew’s parkour skills are really impressive. Unfortunately, his scene is then ruined by him and Mikey kissing, which is treated as something “shocking”. I cannot believe that in 2024, SNL still expects us to laugh at men kissing each other.

• Overall, I liked what this was going for, but too many things here annoyed me. Maybe it would have worked better if Marcello’s role was played by James?

Sketch: Team Captain

A basketball team’s captain tries giving a motivational speech, but it doesn’t seem to be working.

• Kenan’s delivery in this sketch is so annoying. I just wish he would leave already.

• Speaking of people who should probably leave, Mikey is WAY too old to be playing a high-schooler. I remember a problem in a similar sketch from Season 20 that had Kevin Nealon playing a high-schooler despite being one of the oldest people in the cast.

• Meanwhile, Ramy is giving this sketch his all, and somehow manages to keep himself from laughing at the lines about his coach wearing a leather thong and role playing as a cat.

• I like Marcello’s excuse as to why he posted a video of the coach using a litterbox: “I thought it was AI!”

• Some great facial expressions from Devon.

• Another sketch where Punkie shows up just to deliver a single line. In fact, that’s the only time she’s in this episode!

• Somehow, they even managed to make a newspaper headline ending hilarious!

Fake Ad: Ozempic for Ramadan

A brand new way for Muslims to use Ozempic!

• This is certainly an interesting concept.

• I got a big laugh from Ramy injecting himself with the product.

• Ego looks so weird in a hijab.

• I like how one of the side-effects of using this product is going to Hell.

• Who is the old Muslim guy dancing with Andrew?

• Apparently, that’s Chloe Troast singing the jingle. I honestly had no idea, as I thought they had just used the actual one from the real commercials!!! That is really impressive!

• For a sketch about Ramadan, I’m amazed that they didn’t do any stereotypical Muslim jokes. Did Ramy himself have a hand in writing this?

Musical Performance: “MY EYES”

• What an appropriate name, because my eyes hurt just from looking at this awful performance!

Weekend Update (featuring Piper Dunster and Flaco the Owl’s widow)

• Trump selling Bibles? So that’s what the cold open was about?

• Again with the airplane fetish?!? This time it’s in a joke that otherwise has nothing to do with aviation!

• I did kind of chuckle at Che saying that Biden is just like that collapsed bridge in Maryland, because he’s “no longer connected to black communities”.

• ANOTHER airplane joke?!!?? What the fuck is going on???

• Our first commentary is from a TikTok influencer named Piper Dunster, played by (who else?) Chloe Fineman. I can tell I’m gonna hate this.

• Yep, I was right. This is fucking awful! 

• Just in case you needed more proof that SNL is behind the times, one of the TikTok videos has a joke about George Santos in it. You know, the guy who’s looooong out of office by now!

• Another joke from Che about how women’s basketball sucks. Yawn.

• That joke about a tree taking part in the January 6th riots was so stupid.

• Remember that story from a couple episodes ago about the owl’s death? Because SNL loves to pathetically chase trends, here’s a commentary featuring, ugh, the owl’s wife, played by Sarah. Gee, I wonder what’s going to happen…

• Oh, wow. What a surprise! Sarah starts roasting Colin again!!! You know, I really hate to say this, because I’ve enjoyed her for the most part, but I’m starting to hate Sarah Sherman with a fiery passion. These cookie-cutter commentaries she’s been in lately have not done her any favors.

• Of course, the blame isn’t entirely on Sarah. There seems to be a huge problem going on behind the scenes at Update. For the rest of this season, all remaining commentaries are pretty much the same: A “wacky” character played by Heidi, someone dressed up in a retarded costume (usually Bowen, Marcello, or Kenan), or Sarah roasting Colin. That’s not even getting into how burned out and stale the anchors are at this point. 

Sketch: Murder Detective

A detective annoys everyone with his constant one-liners.

• I was immediately won over when Andrew turned to face the camera and delivered a cheesy Caruso-esque pun.

• Andrew’s constant repetition of the same joke has me in stitches.

• This doesn’t really have anything to do with the sketch, but I got a laugh from the fact that the victim’s last name is “Turkle”.

• Funny twist where everyone loves Ramy’s joke despite it being the same type of thing that Andrew did.

Musical Performance: “FE!N”

Sketch: Tiny Desk Concert

An annoying man interrupts a performance at NPR.

• Awesome! JAJ and Troast get to sing in the same sketch!!!

• Ramy perfectly captures the smarmy nature of this type of person.

• Even better than JAJ’s mere presence in this sketch is the fact that his name is “Goose”, which he then demonstrates by making a quacking noise.

• UGGGGGHHHHH!!!! Just when this is getting really good, here comes Bowen “Asian Terry Sweeney” Yang to ruin everything!!!! Surprisingly, this is his only appearance in the whole episode, and I didn’t even notice his absence.

• Okay, so this sketch is now about Bowen’s character being a wacky gay stereotype. Why would they change the premise like that?

• Well, that sketch turned out to be a huge disappointment. The first half was pretty interesting, but then Bowen entered and ruined everything. Fuck Bowen Yang and his dumb fucking face and his annoying fucking voice.

Note: There was a Cut for Time sketch here, but it looked like shit, so I didn’t even bother reviewing it.

Final thoughts: A bit of a mixed bag. While I liked Ramy as a host and he did some great things, he unfortunately couldn’t save a lot of the horrid material in this episode. And I don’t think this is a coincidence, but a lot of said horrid material happened to star the same few cast members that I’m extremely tired of.

Best sketches: Team Captain, Ozempic for Ramadan, Murder Detective

Worst sketches: Cold Open, We Just Got High, Weekend Update, Tiny Desk Concert

Next review: *sigh* Kristen Wiig returns…

SNL Reviews: Josh Brolin/Ariana Grande (3/9/24)

 Cold Open: State of the Union 

CNN covers Biden’s address and Republican senator Katie Britt’s response to it.

• It still feels so wrong seeing Mikey as Biden. Now that I know in hindsight that even this casting choice won’t last, I hate it even more.

• By this point, it has become obvious that Punkie will not be coming back next season. Witness her pointless silent appearance in this cold open!

• Biden hoping that Kamala didn’t skip “Leg Day” is the type of shit I hate in these presidential pieces where they try to have the President come off as “hip” by referencing modern slang, even though he would never do that in real life.

• Heidi’s brief appearance as Marjorie Taylor-Greene was unnecessary, unfunny, and just plain stupid.

• I see we’re back to casting random celebrities as politicians that the writers don’t like. This time, it’s Scarlett Johansson as some senator named Katie Britt. Why is this necessary? Who is this for?

• Couldn’t they have cast somebody who’s actually on the show to play this woman? Chloe Troast really needs some airtime, why not let her do that? Then again, the last time she did a political impression was that in that horrid Elise Stefanik sketch, so maybe they didn’t want her to face all of that backlash again?

Monologue

Brolin reads poems he wrote about various people.

• Just to show you how long it’s been since Josh Brolin was on the show, the musical guest of that episode was Gotye. Anybody else remember that one hit has-been? I liked Josh referring to him as “someone that I used to know”.

• I also liked how he says that Thanos has a “scrotum chin”.

• Not a big fan of the turn this has taken with him reading various poems about Timothee Chalamet and Kenan.

• This was pretty tolerable for a Season 49 monologue, but it would have been even better if they did more with the whole passage of time thing.

Sketch: Bank Robbery

“Wacky” shenanigans happen at the bank as it’s being robbed.

• The look of Heidi’s character already has me afraid of what’s in store…

• JAJ is perfectly cast as one of the robbers. And it’s good to see Devon with such a big role at the beginning as well!

• *sigh* I am not caring for this new “wacky” character of Heidi’s at all. No different from a “wacky” Kristen Wiig character. Speaking of which, I am dreading having to review her episode that’s coming up soon.

• This sketch should have just been about James and Devon trying and failing to rob this bank. They could have them break in at night and accidentally set off all the alarms or something, and then make things worse by bumbling around. For God’s sakes, anything sounds better than yet another retarded Heidi mugfest!!!

• Oh, and just when you thought this couldn’t get any worse, Josh and Heidi strip themselves at the end. I did NOT need to see that, thank you very much!

Film: Airplane Song

NOTE: This sketch seems to have been removed from YouTube for some reason. I find this odd, because I don’t recall it having any copyrighted music in it. It’s a shame, too, because I remember this being a nice Chloe Troast showcase.

Sketch: People Pleaser Support Group

A support group for people who are obsessed with pleasing others.

• Mikey’s delivery of “I love it, but it’s stupid.” is pretty great.

• An interesting concept for a sketch, and one that I can really relate to, because I also have a strong urge to please other people.

• Surprisingly funny performance from Bowen.

• I like Josh’s character’s story about breaking up with his girlfriend, and then getting engaged with her right after that.

• Molly’s character is totally wasted.

• We get an obligatory appearance from Ariana Grande in this sketch. Her interplay with Bowen is nice.

• I love the awkward prayer they recite at the end.

Sketch: Wine and Cheese Night

A man has a fit when he gets dumped by a cat.

• That is one weird cat puppet.

• I honestly can’t remember the last time Michael Longfellow had a big role. He has a semi-important role here, but barely speaks.

• I had forgotten how great Josh was in this sketch. On the surface, his overreaction to the cat leaving is very stupid, but what makes it work is his performance. He even manages to make a fart joke hilarious.

Film: Shrimp Tower

At a fabulous party, a man shows off his own unique way of displaying shrimp.

• Perfect casting of JAJ as a smarmy British man.

• Yet another example of Mikey’s horrible British accent.

• Speaking of accents, the one that Josh is doing is hilarious.

• Molly in drag AGAIN.

• I love the various closeup shots of Josh cringing as Sarah keeps getting close to his shrimp tower.

• The part with Josh shoving Sarah out the window caught me off guard, in a good way.

• The best part is Josh knocking Sarah out of a tree.

• Kenan is just so out of place in this sketch. He’s not in most of it, but near the end, he materializes out of nowhere just to make a bad joke.

• Even when you know that the tower is going to get destroyed in some way, it’s still satisfying when it happens.

• Great ending, where Josh jumps out of the window.

Sketch: Shonda

A lady feuds with her paraplegic husband on a talk show.

• I feel like we haven’t seen a lot of Ego lately. I’m not sure this is the best use of her talents, though.

• Making me even more worried is Heidi’s over the top Southern accent.

• Okay, what is the deal with Sarah mugging for the camera in the background while Ego is talking? She does this for the whole sketch and it’s actually kind of distracting.

• Finally, Punkie gets a speaking role! Aaaaaand…it’s just a single line. I should have known.

• As Josh shows up as a paraplegic man, I immediately get flashbacks to an awful, AWFUL sketch from Season 39 which featured Aidy Bryant as a woman who broke both of her arms. That sketch also featured annoying Southern accents, and was written by, who else? James Anderson and Kent Sublette! Thankfully, this sketch turns out to not be as bad as that one, but it still isn’t anything special.

Musical Performance: “We Can’t Be Friends”

Weekend Update (featuring…nobody!)

• Did you guys know that Lindsey Graham is gay?!?? That’s the joke!!!! Also, they call him a “house elf”. Wow, you really got him there, guys.

• I’m amazed that the joke about stuttering over the word “Snickers” was allowed.

• Oh, wow, comparing Mitch McConnell to a turtle. Never seen that before!

• Another “seen here” joke, this time about Marjorie Taylor-Greene. It wasn’t funny in the slightest.

• I liked the joke about 30 Rock’s bedbug infestation.

• Another dangerous airplane joke? Who is the writer on staff that has a bizarre airplane fetish???

• Another laugh from the Rupert Murdoch joke.

• There were some surprisingly good jokes here, and the lack of a guest commentary for the first time since Season 47 was a breath of fresh air. Overall, this is one of the better Updates of this season by default. And considering some of the wretched Updates I still have to cover this season, that’s not saying much.

Sketch: Moulin Rouge

A look back at the 2001 version of Moulin Rouge.

• “You’re watching PBS.” This is going to suck.

• Mikey is playing a guy named “Ken Burnt”. You know, like Ken Burns!!! Aren’t we hilarious????

• This sketch would have been a great idea…back in 2001. Why parody such an old movie? It’d be even more ridiculous if they were parodying the original version from the 50’s. (EDIT: Apparently, they actually did do a Moulin Rouge parody back in 2001, which I’m sure is much better than this!)

• I did learn something new from this sketch, though…apparently, Ewan McGregor is actually Chinese. That’s right!!! It’s time for yet another sketch where Bowen shows us what a silly gay stereotype he is!!! BARF!!!!

• Nicole Kidman’s character is played by Ariana, making another sketch appearance tonight. Unsurprisingly, she is doing a much better job than Bowen.

• Why is he singing “You Belong with Me?”? That song came out in 2009! I’m guessing they did this on purpose because “LOL TAYLOR SWIFT!!!”.

• 20 minutes later, and I haven’t laughed once. This is clearly just an excuse for Bowen to crack himself up, which he actually does at one point!

• Finally, it’s over!!!! Words cannot express how sick and tired I am of Bowen Yang getting free rein to do whatever the fuck he wants. And he wrote this, so there’s nobody else to blame but him!

Sketch: Sandwich King

A subs guy faces an existential crisis.

• As soon as Josh entered with a pedo mustache, I knew I was in for a treat.

• Another use of Ariana in a sketch, although it’s just her voice this time.

• The various closeups of Josh’s distraught face are hilarious, especially when it starts cutting to footage of his childhood.

• That one shot of Josh essentially deepthroating a sub is really funny!

• Josh, after being called out on his use of a Listerine bottle for a pickle jar: “God forbid I recycle!”

• Great ending where Sarah seemingly dies after eating a moldy sub.

Musical Performance: “Imperfect for You”

Sketch: Lisa from Temecula

Lisa causes havoc once again at a sports bar.

• Not this shit again.

• It’s sad to see Chloe Troast and Punkie get big roles here. This is the material you finally use them for?

• So far, this is exactly the same as the first two installments, though I do detect a bit more of a response from the audience this time, compared to the one they did with Ana DeArmas.

• As if this couldn’t get any worse, now they have Kenan doing his overused shtick.

• Even worse, the other cast members are beginning to break. Please end this right now!!!

Final thoughts: This episode was all over the place. While there was a lot of really strong material, we also had a bunch of absolutely wretched shit, most of which courtesy of Jimmy Fowlie. It’s a shame, because Josh Brolin was an absolutely fantastic host. He gave his all to everything, even making potentially shitty sketches better with his presence.

Best sketches: People Pleaser Support Group, Shrimp Tower, Sandwich King

Worst sketches: Cold Open, Bank Robbery, Moulin Rouge, Lisa from Temecula

Next review: Ramy Youssef/Travis Scott