I hope you guys enjoy my Season 50 reviews…because this will be my last season as a reviewer!
To commemorate the occasion, in each review, I’ll be posting a random quote from one of my older posts.
“The only time I laughed was when Pete Davidson was told to shut up.” (From Adam Driver/Kanye West, Season 44)
Cold Open: World News Tonight
Kamala Harris and Donald Trump have feuding rallies.
• *sigh* This is going to be a loooooong season. Remember during the last election cycle when SNL got a bunch of criticism for relying too much on celebrity cameos to play their political figures? Well, we’re back to doing that again for this election cycle!!!
• Absolutely great to see Andrew Dismukes front and center at the beginning of the season’s first sketch! He doesn’t look a thing like David Muir, but that’s not our biggest problem here…
• Do you know what is the biggest problem here? Maya fucking Rudolph is back as Kamala Harris! UGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
• The first words out of her mouth already make me want to die. We get more outdated “fun aunt” jokes that don’t match how Kamala is now, and Maya is still portraying her as a saintly figure who can do no wrong.
• That Sabrina Carpenter joke was particularly bad.
• “You see, Donald Trump is stuck in the past.” You mean like the SNL writing staff?
• Jim Gaffigan isn’t really my cup of tea, but I’m sure there was a better role SNL could have given him. Was anybody really clamoring to see him do a shitty Tim Walz impression?
• Speaking of unnecessary cameos, now we have Andy Samberg playing Doug Emhoff. As much as I love Andy, he’s so bland in this role, and his dialogue sucks. I mean, comparing himself to Charlie Brown if he were grown up? What???
• The live airing had a bizarre error where they briefly cut back to Maya dancing when Trump is introduced. The online version corrects this error.
• Thankfully, JAJ is still Trump, and not some random celebrity. Has he gotten any funnier? Nope! A lot of his “funny” dialogue is taken verbatim from the actual debate that was held that week. This is why he’s talking about immigrants eating pets, because that’s a thing that he said in real life, so let’s just copy it since we have no original ideas!!! Hooray!!!
• We also get a look at who they chose to play J.D. Vance. Fortunately, it’s a cast member, but unfortunately, it’s fucking Bowen Yang. Because Vance is well known for being Asian. Why not somebody like Michael Longfellow? Oh wait, he isn’t a “star” like Bowen is, so he might as well not exist to Lorne.
• But nothing could have prepared me for what was about to come next. Out of nowhere, we inexplicably have yet another new portrayal of Biden. This time, it’s the withered corpse of Dana Carvey. While not as Godawful as Fire Marshall Biden, it leaves a lot to be desired. He sounds more like Dana Carvey than Joe Biden. Also, Dana goes waaaaay overboard with the mugging here, which is a problem he’s had for a while now.
• If the cold open was this bad, then the rest of the show must be pure gold!!!
Note: We have some new cast members, namely Jane Wickline, Emil Wakim, and Ashley Padilla. I have no idea who any of these people are, but Wickline’s father is apparently an old friend of Lorne Michaels. Yup, it’s nepotism time!!!!!! Wakim’s hiring is notable because he’s the first person of Muslim descent on the show since Nasim Pedrad left. Padilla is a member of The Groundlings, which means she’s probably going to be doing a lot of work with James Anderson, Jr. (aka Jimmy Fowlie).
There’s also a brand-new intro, and I have to say, it looks really good. I hope this isn’t just a temporary intro for this season only!
Monologue
Jean Smart sings “I Happen To Like New York”.
• Mu only point of reference for who Jean is comes from this cartoon called “The Oblongs” (where Will Ferrell played her husband).
• This turns into a musical monologue after only a minute. That’s like the third episode in a row!
• The Eric Adams joke was pretty lame.
• So far, we’re just getting a bunch of jokes about how filthy New York is.
• “Lesbians are obsessed with me.” Ummmm….okay?
• This wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever seen, but it doesn’t paint a good picture for the rest of the show.
Sketch: The $100,000 Pyramid
“Wacky” shenanigans happen on the game show.
• “You must be in the lobby at the dentist’s office, because you’re watching the Game Show Network!” UGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! This is the material we’re starting the show with? A hacky, overused joke that was never funny?
• I got an unintentional laugh from some lady in the audience going “Yeeaaaah” when Devon as Michael Strahan introduces himself.
• Double UGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! Chloe’s playing that “Hawk Tuah” girl!!! I was afraid this was going to happen, but thankfully, she’s just a part of this sketch instead of getting her own.
• Marcello is playing Bad Bunny, and he sounds nothing like him. You’d think that he would know how to do the voice after having done several sketches with him last year, but I guess not. It’s just his normal voice but with a thicker accent.
• And we’ve now gotten to the point that every single thing Marcello does is accompanied by cheers from the girls in the audience.
• I got a laugh from Kenan’s Mark Robinson saying that cheating on your wife is what you do in the club.
• Is that a real monkey with Jean? Or is it a puppet? I honestly can’t tell.
• Oh, the monkey just facepalmed. Now I know it’s a puppet.
• No comment on the scene where it starts breastfeeding Jean.
• Emil makes his first appearance as that Turkish sharpshooter that I completely forgot about till now.
• One of the worst lead off sketches I’ve ever seen. This episode is already looking pretty bad.
Fake Ad: Spirit Halloween
An ad for the one store that will always be there for you…Spirit Halloween!
• Jane and Ashley make their first appearances in this one…aaaaaand they have no dialogue.
• Unusual twist where this turns out to be a Spirit Halloween commercial.
• Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like it’s a little too late for them to be making Spirit Halloween jokes. Other people have been making jokes about Spirit taking over old stores for years, and SNL doesn’t really have anything new to add.
• I did get a laugh from the legally distinct Oompa-Loompa and Minion costumes.
• Surprisingly, this is the first time we’ve seen Mikey all night. He must be crying in his dressing room after getting the Biden impression taken away from him for no reason.
• I love the “Blonde Singing Woman” costume which is supposed to be Taylor Swift. When the girl who orders it complains that it isn’t Taylor Swift, I like Chloe’s condescending delivery of “And neither are you.”
• This wasn’t too bad, but I think it would have worked better if Spirit Halloween jokes weren’t so overdone. Hilariously, Spirit themselves responded to this sketch, posting an image of a costume for an “irrelevant 50-year old TV show”.
Sketch: Textbook Writer
A math textbook writer has unusual methods.
• Not really caring for the main joke of this sketch.
• Mikey’s reacting routine is so old hat by this point.
• In the live airing, Jean screwed up when she was supposed to show the cover of the math book. For some reason, she held it at an odd angle where only the back was visible. This error was corrected in reruns by using the flawless dress rehearsal take. I thought I would bring this up because it was more interesting than the actual material.
Musical Performance: “Liar”
Weekend Update (featuring Eric Adams and Moo Deng)
• *groan* Yet another year of these two bozos at the desk.
• Nothing has changed. They’re still doing awful Trump jokes, and they’re still cracking up at themselves.
• Che has a pretty funny joke about Andrew Cuomo moving “faster than COVID through a nursing home”.
• For some reason, after telling a lame Asian driver joke, Che says, “It’s the 90’s, man!” Not very funny, but that doesn’t stop him from constantly bringing this line back in later episodes!
• You can never go wrong with a “Hoda Kotb loves to drink” joke.
• Our first commentary of the season comes from Devon, who is taking over as Eric Adams. Hey, remember when SNL tried to make Eric Adams seem like a cool guy when he was really a creep??? That was awesome.
• This isn’t Devon’s best work, but he’s giving it his all. By default, this is the most tolerable commentary we’ve had since…I don’t know, Devon’s previous commentary.
• But now we’re in for some real shit, because we have a Bowen commentary, this time wearing a retarded hippo costume.
• Bowen, for whatever reason, is playing this hippo as if it was Chappell Roan, saying shit like “I’m your favorite hippo’s favorite hippo”. I don’t get it either, and it led to a lot of Chappell’s fans criticizing the show for making a mockery of her struggles.
• Absolutely horrible bit where Bowen gets sprayed with water. This feels like something out of All That.
• This is so fucking long. I know the season just started, but this is definitely going in my worst sketches list!
Sketch: I Love Lucy
The original choice for Lucy was much brasher.
• What’s with all the Bowen in this episode? He’s not as versatile as you think he is, guys.
• Marcello’s playing Ricky exactly the same as his other roles.
• Jean is trying her best, but not even she can save this material.
• What’s with that pose Marcello keeps doing at the end of each scene? I don’t recall Ricky ever doing that. Have these writers even seen the show???
• Sheesh, this is the first we’ve seen of James since the cold open. His impression of Fred is probably the best thing about this awful sketch, even if he only has like two lines. Chloe, on the other hand, couldn’t sound any less like Vivian Vance if she tried.
• Horrible ending where Lucy shoots Ricky.
• I gotta be honest, I really hate it when SNL parodies classic TV shows/movies and makes them “hip” by swearing all over the place. This is also part of the reason I hate those shitty Cinema Classics sketches.
Sketch: Talk Talk
Charli XCX hosts a talk show.
• AUUUGHHHHH!!!!!! MY FUCKING EYES!!!!!! Jesus fucking Christ, now we have Bowen in drag playing Charli XCX!!
• This is the first appearance of Sarah all night. Unfortunately, she’s also in drag, playing Troye Sivan. Why is she so obsessed with Troye Sivan???
• The whole “Brat or Nat” section is just painful. Never have thirty seconds felt more like thirty minutes.
• How could they even let something like this on the air? It just shows you how much SNL treats Bowen like he’s the greatest thing in the world. If he wasn’t as popular, there’s no way this would have passed dress rehearsal.
• I’m not even going to discuss the rest of the sketch. It’s that bad. But, to sum it up, I really, really, REALLY HATE BOWEN YANG!!!!
Musical Performance: “Winning Streak”
Sketch: The Real Housewives of Santa Fe
Housewives feud over being businesswomen, which prevents their waiter from serving them.
• “You’re watching Bravo.” NOOOOOO!!!!!
• Is it just me, or has Heidi aged quite a bit since last season?
• I started having Vietnam flashbacks to that horrible “Hot Plates” sketch when Andrew entered with that giant steamy plate.
• Thankfully, we don’t have any scenes of Amy Poehler turning into a skeleton or Horatio Sanz screaming at the top of his lungs in this sketch. But that’s not saying much, because it’s still a flaming mess.
• This episode is fucking killing me, man. Why are these premieres always so awful?
Cut for Time: A Father’s Promise
A father is way too protective of his son.
• This is the type of role that Marcello is actually good at.
• When Andrew showed up with a mustache, I knew I was going to like this.
• This is a really relatable premise that I’m sure we can all identify with.
• A big laugh from Andrew bluntly insulting a child.
• Even the bizarre Mario Kart ending was pretty funny, complete with Andrew throwing a banana peel at a cop.
• How sad is it that the only sketch I actually liked was left out of the live show? They should have taken out that retarded Charli XCX sketch and put this in!
Final thoughts: What a way to start the 50th anniversary season, huh? This didn’t feel like the beginning of a milestone year at all. Everything I hated about last season is still here with little improvement. It’s been pointed out many times before that anniversary seasons tend to be really bad (especially Seasons 20, 30, 35, and 45), and it looks like this year is going to be another disaster.
Best sketches: A Father’s Promise (Cut)
Worst sketches: Cold Open, The $100,000 Pyramid, Moo Deng commentary, Talk Talk
Next review: Nate Bargatze/Coldplay
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