SNL Reviews: Martin Short/Hozier (12/21/24)

 Today’s Retro Decimator Quote is…

“I got a huge laugh when he said SNL hasn’t been funny since the cast stopped using cocaine.” (from Harry Styles, 2019)

Cold Open: Five-Timers Club

Martin Short is inducted into the exclusive club.

• Starting off immediately with Tom Hanks’ face. Yay, more cameos…

• “An ingeniously lazy way to avoid writing a monologue”. Stop criticizing the writing! That’s my job!!!

• After an unwelcome Paul Rudd cameo, we finally see Martin Short. And it only took us a minute and a half to get there!

• Ugh, now Tina’s here as well. I can’t wait for more jokes about how much better she is than the current cast!

• Well, we did get one of those jokes, but it technically came from Martin (he’s asked to name three current cast members and he doesn’t know any).

• NOOOOOOO!!!!!! Why are there so many Alec Baldwin cameos this year??? Get off the stage and go shoot somebody else!

• Let’s see, Scarlett Johansson shows up next, then…GYAAAAAHHHH!!!! Kristen Wiig!!!! Please end this already!!!!

• Emma Stone, Melissa McCarthy, John Mulaney, and Jimmy Fallon? Are they just picking people at random now? I was hoping I’d never have to see Melissa’s fat ugly face on this show again, but apparently they’re not going to grant me that mercy.

• NINE. MINUTES. That’s how long this wankfest is. And with every passing minute, you can see a part of James Austin Johnson’s soul leave his body.

Monologue

Martin goes around the studio and sings a song about how awesome it is to take away airtime from the cast oops I mean Christmas.

• Another musical monologue? I know Marty typically does them, but we’ve had like 200 of them already this season.

• And we get the usual corny use of cast members as backup dancers.

• We’re now going backstage for the first time since Maya’s last monologue.

• There’s the showgirls who usually appear in the backstage setting. Abe Lincoln can also be seen talking to Jesus nearby.

• By the way, James Austin Johnson’s appearance in this scene is his only appearance all night. This is frankly getting ridiculous.

• I did get a laugh from Martin suddenly tossing a kid dummy aside.

• Holy crap, it’s Lorne! We haven’t seen him in forever! Also there is Jimmy Fallon again. Apparently, he and Martin got into a (fake) feud on The Tonight Show, so now they’re going to make up.

• *sigh* I can’t believe that SNL still wants us to laugh at the sight of two men kissing each other. That just docked an extra point from this monologue’s rating.

Sketch: Parking Lot

Two men try to park in the same spot and chaos ensues.

• The mall seen in the establishing shot is Palisades Center in West Nyack, NY.

• Really??? We’re doing a rehash of that Traffic sketch from the Quinta Brunson episode? 

• Mikey’s performance in the original version was one of his best. Here, he just seems to be going through the motions.

• Near the end, we get an unwelcome appearance from Melissa McCarthy rubbing her fugly face against the window. I almost vomited the first time I saw this.

• Already a bad sign for the rest of the episode if this is the material we’re starting with.

Film: An Act of Kindness

A woman helps out a homeless man during the holiday season.

• I feel like Kenan’s barely gotten any lead roles this season.

• We just had a sketch with Mikey screaming. Now he’s doing it again? How versatile!

• Kenan’s performance of this character is so old hat.

• As if last week wasn’t enough, the ending randomly reveals that this was a commercial for Fox News. UGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHJXOUSBEKFX SASDIDHEVIRLFMDHELDDRHILRRNRGYERDXDUELRIRRURRBEIEELEVEHEIE *Please Stand By* Whew, sorry about that. I got a little carried away.

Sketch: Airport Parade

SNL’s airplane fetish returns!

• Yay, more recycling!!! I barely even liked the first installment of this sketch, so what makes them think I’m going to like it a second time?

• At least Jason Momoa looked like he was having a good time in the first one. Marty just looks dead inside.

• Now we’re getting another appearance from Wiig?!? 

• For some reason, the audience doesn’t applaud for Paul Rudd’s cameo until he says his name.

• FUUUUUCK!!!! Another Melissa McCarthy appearance!!! Get your fat ass out of here!

• Speaking of asses, we get a horrific scene at the end where Marcello shakes his ass for the camera. Jesus Christ, this guy is just getting desperate. Unsurprisingly, the women in the audience are eating this shit up.

Musical Performance: “Too Sweet”

Weekend Update (featuring A Drone)

• Colin has a great reaction to the freaks in the audience cheering for Mangione.

• Michael screws up his horrible Eric Trump joke by saying “bubble rape” instead of “bubble wrap”.

• *Bowen enters as a drone* NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE BOWEN YANG!!!!!! 

• I have no more words to say about this horrible, showboating performer that I haven’t already said, so let me just quote Blood Meridian: “I have to wonder when this guy will ever grow up and start to actually act his age.” Harsh, but true!

• And now we get a Joke Swap? If this were a few seasons ago, I’d be cheering right now. But because these guys have been doing the same shtick for ELEVEN SEASONS, it’s hard to get excited for it anymore.

• As I expected, this format has gotten way too stale. Che suggests that Jost read all of his jokes in a “black” voice, which would be funny if they haven’t spent eleven seasons implying that Colin is a secret racist. 

• It also isn’t helping that they can barely even deliver the jokes because they’re too busy laughing at themselves. Just shut up and read the damn jokes already!!!

• The part with Jost being forced to read a joke about his wife is also extremely stupid and predictable. Maybe it would have worked better if she was actually in the room with them?

• Overall, this is definitely the worst Update of the season, and probably one of the worst of all time.

Sketch: Sábado Gigante

Marcello yells at the top of his lungs for no reason yet again.

• Oh, you have got to be kidding me. This has to be one of the laziest episodes ever! Why are they bringing back this horrible sketch that nobody except for Marcello’s fangirls actually liked?

• Yep, they’re doing the exact same routine as last time, except the person they pick from the audience is Paul Rudd. You know, the guy who ISN’T the host?!!?? In fact, Martin is nowhere to be seen in this sketch! What’s up with that? He’d be perfect for it!!!

• I was rather shocked to find out that Jimmy Fowlie had nothing to do with the writing of these. They are actually collaborations between Marcello, Steven Castillo, Dan Bulla, and Bryan Tucker. How could you, Dan???

• That bit with “Miami Frosty” may be one of the worst things I have ever seen on a television show. So unfunny, random for the sake of random, and just pointless.

• Just because we didn’t have enough of him in our lives already, Dana Carvey makes his 1,227,356th cameo of the season! WHYYYYYYYYY????? There’s nobody in the cast who needs more airtime! Just give it to a past his prime cameo who’s already been on way too much!

• If I may quote Blood once again, “Marcello’s bug-eyed reactions feel more fitting in a shitty, foreign kids show than SNL. Guess that’s a good career path for him eventually.”

Musical Performance: “Fairytale of New York”

Sketch: A Charlie Brown Christmas

A new acting teacher is unbearable during Christmas play rehearsals.

• Since when did Freeform show A Charlie Brown Christmas? Oh, that’s right, they don’t!!!

• Why does the audience applaud when Kenan is shown as Snoopy? Is it just because “Hey! I recognize that character!”

• I’m getting that bad feeling once again…

• Martin’s stereotypically gay acting teacher is so, so broad.

• Even in this sketch, Marcello has to sneak in his mugging routine. 

• Why does Sally call her brother by his full name? Doesn’t she usually just call him “big brother”?

• To make things worse, we now have Bowen playing a typical Bowen role. Ugh, I hate this guy so much you have no idea.

• It’s sad that even one of the only original sketches in this episode is GODAWFUL. What the fuck happened to the writing staff this week???

Cut for Time: The Grinch

Bloodshed comes to Whoville when The Grinch tries turning over a new leaf.

• “We now return to…” NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

• Pretty good makeup on Marty as the Grinch. I also like the use of stop-motion for his dog.

• They captured the style of the movie really well. So far, this isn’t so bad…but I just know they’re going to ruin it somehow.

• Aaaaaaaand there we go. The star falls on Mikey’s head and this randomly turns into a variation of the amazing Christmas Carol short from Martin’s last episode.

• It was really cathartic seeing Bowen as the Mayor get shocked to death.

• None of the gory scenes are as funny this time, because I’ve seen this routine before. They’re even copying the scenes of Scooby-Doo cowering in fear from the last variation they did of this.

• Holy shit, Lucy fucking Liu!!!! Why would they cut out a Lucy Liu cameo?!???

• I like how the katana handle is colored like the Cat in the Hat’s hat.

• While this wasn’t the worst rehash ever, it pales in comparison to the first one.

Final thoughts: Holy. Shit. That was one of the worst Christmas episodes ever. So many unnecessary cameos, way too many rehashed sketches, and the Weekend Update anchors reaching new levels of annoyance. What a criminal waste of Martin Short. I went into this episode expecting to see him be funny, but instead he played second fiddle to a bunch of member berries. 

Best sketches: Hozier’s musical performances were pretty good.

Worst sketches: Five-Timers Club, Airport Parade, Weekend Update, Sábado Gigante, Melissa McCarthy’s fugly face

Next review: Dave Chappelle/GloRilla

SNL Reviews: Chris Rock/Gracie Abrams (12/14/24)

 Today’s Retro Decimator Quote is…

“The line where he confuses NBC for STDs (it makes sense in context) was funny.” (from Dan Levy/Phoebe Bridgers, 2021)

Cold Open: Crime Stories with Nancy Grace

Nancy Grace investigates the UnitedHealthcare CEO’s murder.

• Really? People still care about Nancy Grace? This would have been a great sketch in…2005!

• Sarah isn’t even trying to imitate Grace’s voice, just doing her usual shouty voice but with a Southern inflection.

• No comment on that “Game over, Luigi” joke, which features the Mario death sound because someone at SNL has a weird Mario fetish. Is MovieBob working there?

• Ugh, Sarah’s going really hard on the mugging and silly pronunciations.

• Ashley shows up for like ten seconds only to be cut off by Sarah.

• Is Marcello intentionally trying to blow out my eardrums? Someone needs to tell him to tone down the yelling shtick.

• Kenan’s appearance here just made me realize that he was barely in the last episode.

• Every time Sarah says “crountry”, a part of my soul dies.

• I refuse to say anything more about this poor attempt at satire, so let’s just move on.

Monologue

Chris Rock does standup about Trump, Biden, and Mike Tyson getting his ass kicked by Jake Paul.

• Great point about how no one would care about Luigi Mangione if he looked like Jonah Hill.

• Chris, speaking about Jake Paul: “Who’s he gonna beat next? Morgan Freeman?”

• I love the line about Elon Musk having more kids than the entirety of the Cleveland Browns.

• This was a huge step up from his last monologue. So many funny lines, even the Trump ones!

Sketch: Mall Santas 

Nobody wants to sit with a black Santa.

• As soon as they revealed the two Santas, I knew exactly what the joke was going to be.

• Good laugh from Andrew claiming that his family is Jewish when he’s being pressured to choose a Santa.

• What a waste of James. His Santa doesn’t get to speak.

• Devon: “‘Blanta’ is not a thing, please do not call me that!”

• I love how Chloe immediately chooses the black Santa after being told there is also a queer, female Santa.

• Great ending with Emil as an Arab Santa.

Sketch: Simpsons Christmas Gift

A man imagines what his life would be like as a Simpsons character.

• I refuse to believe that picture came from the app that turns you into a Simpsons character. It looks too good for that.

• “Susan Wheels”? Who comes up with this stuff?

• I wonder who drew the scenes in Chris’s “episode”?

• Chloe’s Marge impression is pretty lousy, but I still laughed.

• This wasn’t too bad for what it was. I honestly didn’t remember laughing at it.

Film: Grandpa’s Magic Car

A racist car refuses to let black people inside.

• “Did the car just start on its own?” Thanks, Chloe, we can see that.

• Wow, the car won’t let any of the black people in. What a hilarious and unexpected twist!

• Half of the dialogue in this sketch is just everyone explaining to us what’s happening. We have fucking eyes!!! You don’t need to explain everything to us!

• And now the car just smacked Chloe on the ass with its door (which Chloe helpfully points out). Get it? Because all men in the 50’s were sexist!!!

• The part with the radio repeating “White…power!” over and over is so hacky.

• “Kerbie’s…sorry?” Uh, yeah, ya THINK?!!?? I couldn’t tell by the grille on its front “frowning”.

• To make this even more hacky, we have that stupid overused twist ending where this is revealed to be an ad for Lyft. PLEASE STOP DOING THAT!!!!!!

• Just about the only interesting thing about this sketch is that the car they used (which is a vintage 1953 Chevy Bel Air) was sold on Facebook Marketplace not long after this aired.

Sketch: Sexual Harassment Charlie

Creepy old Charlie is being fired for sexual harassment once again.

• Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me! They’re doing this shit again for the first time in SIX YEARS??!!??? 

• Just to show you how long it’s been, that was long before JAJ, Sarah, or any of the Season 48 newbies were hired.

• All I have to say about this one is that it sucked just like the first two times they did it.

Musical Performance: “That’s So True”

• Fun fact: Would you like to know why this lady has a career? It’s because her father is J.J. Abrams!!!! You know, that really shitty director!

Weekend Update (featuring A Bald Guy and Jane Wickline)

• I like how we’re not starting with Trump jokes for the second week in a row.

• There’s some great stuff in here, especially the part complaining about people leaving behind one-star reviews on Yelp for the McDonald’s where Mangione was caught.

• Never seen that particular photo of young Colin before.

• Michael Che just keeps getting more and more smug with each passing episode. Can someone tell him to stop laughing at everything? Oh, and can they also ask him to stop saying “It’s the 90’s”???

• That Ruth Bader Ginsburg joke was so groanworthy.

• After surprisingly getting a laugh from one last week, we’re back to the “seen here” jokes being annoying and unfunny.

• For the first time in what seems like years, we have an Andrew commentary! YES!!!

• In this one, he’s playing a bald guy. Between this and that song about bald guys from a few episodes ago, somebody on the writing staff seems to have baldness on their mind.

• This is the type of stupid, but funny humor that Andrew excels at. I wish he got more chances to show it off.

• The part where he covers his head with his turtleneck has me in stitches.

• This is the best commentary we’ve had in a long time.

• Jane Wickline’s third commentary in the last few episodes. I don’t know why she’s been getting all these commentaries while Ashley Padilla hasn’t gotten a single one.

• All of this Sabrina Carpenter pandering the show’s been doing this season is really stupid. No offense to Jane, because she seems like a nice girl, but this wasn’t the best use of her talents, whatever those may be.

Sketch: Gallbladder Surgery

“Wacky” shenanigans occur during surgery.

• The reveal of Sarah as a “wacky” character already sets a bad tone for the rest of this sketch.

• Would it surprise you at all to know that this was written by Jimmy Fowlie?

• “Lizlie”? “Aloysius Cooter”? God, these names just keep getting worse.

• Suddenly we have a cameo from Adam Sandler. Can we go a single episode without a gratuitous cameo???

• I am at least happy to see Sandler on the show again. He hasn’t appeared since the second At Home episode.

• Aaaaaaaaaaand this is now a blood-spurting sketch. You know how much I love those, right?

• I like how Sandler isn’t even trying to hide the hose he’s squirting the blood from.

• And now he just broke the fourth wall for some reason. Why? I dunno.

• Oh, I almost forgot. Sarah is trying not to break during this chaotic scene. Save that shit for backstage!

• What a horrible mess, and not just the bloody parts! This shouldn’t have even made it to air. And couldn’t they have given Adam Sandler a better role than a fucking corpse?

Musical Performance: “I Love You, I’m Sorry”

Film: Office Christmas Party Extravaganza

How to spice up your boring old party at the office!

• A great concept, and it reminds me of the classic Kickspit Underground Festival sketches. (“Imma live forever!”)

• Lots of crew member cameos here.

• JAJ’s narration is hilarious!

• I love the face on the guy who drinks the beer.

• I’m getting more laughs from the narration than the sketch itself, but this is still really good.

• My biggest laugh was somewhat unintentional, but I love how obvious the stunt double is when Mikey falls off the table. 

Sketch: Blind Date

A woman’s blind date gets ruined.

• Michael: “I’ll be back with a menu when I feel like it.”

• I feel like we rarely see Ego play this type of role. It’s a welcome change from her usual sassy black woman types.

• Chris’s constant requests to have sex in the car would be annoying in any other sketch, but that’s kind of the point here.

• Kind of a bizarre ending where Ego prefers Chris over the guy she was actually supposed to meet.

• A nice, low-key way to end the show.

Final thoughts: While not perfect, this episode was tolerable. Probably Chris Rock’s best hosting stint since his first.

Best sketches: Monologue, Andrew’s commentary, Office Christmas Party Extravaganza

Worst sketches: Cold Open, Grandpa’s Magic Car, Gallbladder Surgery

Next review: Martin Short/Hozier

SNL Reviews: Paul Mescal/Shaboozey (12/7/24)

 Today’s Retro Decimator Quote is:

“McKinnon shows up to make my ears bleed as Little Orphan Annie, singing a song about Mike Bloomberg to the tune of “Tomorrow”. I bet Stooge is going to love this sketch.” (from John Mulaney/David Byrne, 2020)

Cold Open: Church Chat

Our old friend the Church Lady is back to chat with some more weirdos.

• Well, this is a surprise! I never thought we’d see another Church Chat!!! But since Dana’s been living at Studio 8H this season, I guess they decided to take the plunge?

• Dana looks even more like an old biddy now that he’s aged. Unfortunately, his age also means that he can’t really do the voice that well anymore.

• 2024 is “the most Satanic year in history”? Damn right!

• Ugh, more Wicked references. Spoiler alert, there’s more coming up later in the show…

• Church Lady: “You know who’s the best carpenter? Jesus!” I could have done without her singing that Sabrina Carpenter song, though.

• NOOOOO!!!!! Not Sarah’s Matt Gaetz “impression” again!!!! 

• Sarah’s going heavy on the mugging, even blatantly calling attention to it at one point.

• The “You had me at seventeen” joke was just awful.

• WTF??!!?? David Spade as Hunter Biden???? 

• This “tell, don’t show” style of writing really hurts these cold opens. Witness Spade’s line about how people only went after him because of his last name, “and because of all the illegal things I did”. 

• Surprised it took Dana a few minutes to say “Well isn’t that special?”

• I don’t know who Juan Soto is, but Marcello is using the EXACT. SAME. VOICE. Jesus Christ, man, can you show a little more effort???

• I like the “Satan Had A Good Year” song at the end.

• A sad, limp revival of a classic recurring sketch. Maybe I would have liked it better if Dana hasn’t constantly been making cameos this season?

Monologue

Paul Mescal talks about his comedy stylings and clears up some nasty rumors about the Irish.

• No idea what to say about the montage of him getting emotional in his films.

• A reference to that U2 album on iTunes? Wow, way to keep up with the times, SNL. That album came out…TEN YEARS AGO!!!!! The Amazing World of Gumball beat you to it!

• When it comes to Irish hosts clearing up stereotypes about themselves, this feels like a ripoff of Gabriel Byrne’s monologue from 1995, except we don’t get Colin Quinn and Fred Wolf dancing in the background.

• Marcello’s bit at the end is just unnecessary. It’s another instance of him just being thrown in to capitalize on his popularity with the ladies.

Sketch: Earring

Parents overreact when their son comes home with an ear piercing.

• Nice to see Emil get a lead role.

• I have a feeling that Mescal’s hat was supposed to be covering the piercing entirely, because the other characters act so surprised when it’s revealed, even though you can clearly see it before he takes the hat off. Maybe something got lost in translation?

• We’ve barely seen Heidi all season, but this sketch has her regressing into some of her worst habits. She’s overly shouty, especially compared to Emil’s more restrained performance.

• Again with the bisexual jokes? 

• I liked what this was going for, but I think it needed someone else in the mother role, or at least given Heidi better direction.

Film: Gladiator Twosical

Based on the success of Wicked, the producers of Gladiator II have decided to make it a musical!

• More shilling for Wicked, I see. 

• Having not seen either of these movies, I have little interest in the main joke of this sketch. The Broadway fags in the audience and on the writing staff are probably eating it up, though!

• My biggest problem with this, though, is that it just feels way too bland. Even compared to something like that gritty Mario Kart trailer from a couple seasons ago, it feels like nobody working on this had any passion. It’s just, hey, there’s a couple of really popular movies out right now and we can profit off of them by pretending to parody them and we’ll get a lot of positive press!!!!!

• Compare this with something like the iconic and heartbreaking “Love Is A Dream” short film, and you’ll see how far this show’s standards have fallen. That felt like it was made by people who cared, and this bland piece of shit musical was made by people who only want brownie points from the legacy media for referencing a popular thing.

• I know, I’ve spent waaaaaay too long complaining about a seemingly-harmless sketch, but that’s just the way I feel. 

Sketch: Italian Restaurant Commercial

Two actors go off script during a film shoot.

• Holy cow, Mikey still exists! He didn’t appear at all in the previous episode, for some reason.

• Ashley gets a big role, too! Now all we need is for Jane to get one and all three newbies will have one in this episode!

• One thing I haven’t missed from Mikey’s absence last time was the usual over explanation that his characters like to do.

• I’m loving all the bad pasta puns.

• I love Paul telling Ashley she’s going to get punched in the face if she makes another pun.

• For such a dumb sketch, this was actually pretty funny.

Please Don’t Destroy: Paul Mescal Is Daddy

Paul Mescal shares his dream life with the boys.

• I honestly forgot these guys were in this episode.

• I feel like we haven’t seen them in their usual office setting in forever.

• Kind of like the one that got cut from the last episode, this has a nice mix of charm and laughs.

• The random gunfight near the end is amazing.

• Sadly, as of this writing, we haven’t seen another Please Don’t Destroy film. If this does end up being their last, then the shot of Paul gently tucking the guys into bed is a fitting and heartwarming end to their time on the show.

Sketch: All Male Revue

A historically-accurate striptease ruins a perfect night out.

• *looks at title of sketch* Uh-oh, I’m getting a bad feeling about this…

• Heidi’s airheaded delivery of “I like guys” was kind of funny.

• *sigh* More reacting-and-explaining. We can see what’s happening for ourselves, thank you!!!!

• Another laugh from Heidi saying that she can’t wait to see the “booty”, if you know what I mean.

• Our latest example of Mikey failing at a British accent.

• James’s voice is perfect.

• Marcello’s costume reminds me of Captain Feathersword from The Wiggles, for some reason. Unsurprisingly, the audience goes nuts when he declares that he is going to take his shirt off.

• Thankfully, he gets thrown overboard immediately after that.

• Chloe: “I think they threw the sick one out to sea.” NO FUCKING SHIT!!!!!

• Nice effects work with Emil’s peg legs.

• I think Paul screwed something up when he throws Heidi overboard. You can see Heidi bounce when she hits the ground, and the water comes from somewhere that’s nowhere near where she landed.

• A horrible mix of Jimmy Fowlie-brand homoeroticism and Seiday overexplanation. Pick your poison!

Musical Performance: “Good News”

Weekend Update (featuring A Mom Who’s Son Just Got Famous)

• Rather refreshing that we’re not starting with Trump jokes. Instead, we have a series of good jokes about the Luigi Mangione case, which I had honestly forgotten about until now.

• My favorite joke was the one about how hard it is to find a murderer on a Port Authority bus.

• Call me insane, but I actually laughed at a “seen here” joke!

• I genuinely laughed out loud at the joke about Biden going to Africa just to visit “his friend Barack”. Sadly, Che has to ruin it once again by uttering that annoying “It’s the 90’s” bullshit!

• Um, Colin, you do realize that Sprint Wireless doesn’t exist anymore, right?

• There are some good jokes in here. If only they would stop laughing at them all the time!

• Our latest annoying Update commentary from Heidi. This time, she’s some woman with a son (Marcello) who just got famous.

• The writer’s guide I use doesn’t say who wrote this, but judging by the fact that Heidi is in it, and coupled with the  voice she’s doing, makes me think it was Jimmy Fowlie.

• This was a pretty strong Update by recent standards, except for that commentary. 

Sketch: Brilliant Lawyer

Mr. Landon supposedly has multiple foolproof plans to defend his employee.

• Amazing sight of Paul wearing a Devo hat and a false beard.

• Another amazing sight of the entire courtroom wearing the same outfit.

• Andrew is killing me here! This just has to be a sketch that he wrote!

• Fantastic part where everyone “shuffles” around to confuse the court.

• Bowen: “Your client is not a buff, African-American man!” Bowen’s performance as the judge is surprisingly good. That line in particular was really funny.

• Andrew: “If we win this case, I will give you ORAL!!!”

• I had completely forgotten how hilarious this was. Andrew’s comedic voice has been mostly absent up to this point, and I’m glad to see it again.

Musical Performance: “A Bar Song (Tipsy)”

Sketch: Spotify Wrapped

A group of friends discusses their Spotify Wrapped, whatever that is.

• Andrew’s line at the beginning about Ira Glass was hilarious and random.

• Time for more “fellow kids” material.

• Paul just sounds so weird having to say all this millennial dialogue.

• Well, one step forward for Bowen in the last sketch, and we’re ten steps backwards with this one. I sense Jimmy Fowlie again.

• This is pure comedy cancer. I know I say that a lot, but I’m serious! Just watching anything with Bowen Yang is enough to give me cancer!

• Now we get an unwelcome cameo from some fat woman named Trisha Paytas. Who is Trisha Paytas? I don’t know, but apparently she’s some big shot in the podcast community. 

• I could go on and on about how horrible this sketch is, but I recommend reading Blood Meridian’s review, because he sums it up much better than I ever could. TLDR: SNL really needs to stop appealing to millennials.

Sketch: BuzzFeed Red Carpet

SNL tries to cash in on that Bob Dylan film.

• Really? More social media garbage???

• Chloe’s Timothée Chalamet impression makes yet another unfunny appearance. Stop trying to push this like it’s an “iconic” impression that people will remember years from now.

• Enough with the “brat summer” references!

• Things start to pick up a bit when James enters as Bob Dylan. Unlike Chloe, this is an impression that I want to see more of!!! Even funnier, he’s actually in the movie this is making fun of.

• Andrew doesn’t really sound a lot like Bruce Springsteen, but he makes up for it by having funny dialogue.

• Paul’s impression of Bono is also spot-on and hilarious.

• I actually did laugh at Heidi clarifying that BuzzFeed legally requires her to ask the “brat summer” question.

• This part with Bono whining about climate change is so accurate.

• If it wasn’t for Chloe being annoying, I would have liked this even more.

Final thoughts: Despite having never heard of him before, I thought Paul Mescal was a really funny host who made a somewhat bland episode better with his presence. 

Best sketches: Italian Restaurant Commercial, Paul Mescal Is Daddy, Brilliant Lawyer

Worst sketches: Cold Open, All Male Revue, Spotify Wrapped

Next review: Chris Rock/Gracie Abrams

SNL Reviews: Charli XCX (11/16/24)

 Today’s Retro Decimator Quote is…

“As of late, SNL has gotten a reputation of being a “meme-killer”. When this aired, a bunch of people (who I am very thankful for) tweeted their displeasure at this awful sketch and the unfunny woman behind it, saying that SNL ruined the meme for them. Sure enough, I haven’t seen anything else about this meme since then, which I’m okay with because I didn’t find it that funny anyway. But I prefer memes over shitty SNL sketches by a wide margin.” (from Ariana DeBose/Bleachers, 2022)

Cold Open: Trump and Biden Meeting

President Biden and President-elect Trump discuss important matters.

• This is thankfully the last episode I have to cover with Dana’s horrendous Joe Biden impression.

• WTF???? A “This is fine” reference in 2024???? Jesus fucking Christ, SNL, can you update your internet meme references??? Or, even better, just don’t do them at all!!!!

• Looking at Dana’s bland, muggy impression next to James’ spot-on impression is just pathetic.

• I did laugh at Andrew shouting about moving to Canada.

• Another reference to eating pets…which happened two months ago.

• AUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! That is fucking terrifying!!! Now we have Sarah playing Matt Gaetz for no reason, other than that SNL loves having women play male politicians that they hate.

• Sarah hasn’t been doing too badly so far this season, but this is the kind of stuff I don’t like seeing.

• Oh, wow, they just had Matt Gaetz say “Giggity giggity”! So edgy!!!!

• PLEASE GO AWAY, ALEC BALDWIN!!!! Your shitty RFK, Jr. impression isn’t funny! It’s just a rougher version of the Trumpwin voice!!!

• Good God, these cameo-infested cold opens are gonna be the death of me. I am so sick of seeing them!

Monologue

Charli talks about the start of her career and what “Brat” means.

• I have to say, I’m finding her accent really annoying.

• Holy shit, Kyle Mooney out of nowhere!!! In hindsight, I know why he’s here, but it’s such a pleasure to see him again.

• A rather bland monologue compared to the awesome we had last time. You know it’s bad when the best part was a random cameo.

Sketch: Babymoon

A couple gets a big surprise during a “babymoon”.

• Right from the setup, it’s obvious what’s going on here. Remember that dumb Domingo sketch? Well, because it blew up on TikTok, they decided to make it recurring…only FOUR episodes after they did it!!!

• I remember when this first aired, my brother asked, “Didn’t they do this already?” Usually, he has no idea whether or not they’ve already done a sketch, but even he could recognize this routine!

• Yep, so far, this is exactly the same as the first one, except they’re doing a parody of a Chappell Roan song this time instead of a Sabrina Carpenter song.

• Predictable applause when Domingo makes his appearance. Barf!

• Overall, I think I think I liked that one even less than the original.

Film: Wicked Auditions

A series of auditions for the new Wicked movie.

• Yay, more corporate synergy!!! Get ready for a bunch of Wicked references in the next few episodes!

• Ugh, Chloe’s stupid JoJo Siwa impression is back.

• Devon’s Shannon Sharpe is okay, but not as great as Jay Pharoah’s.

• Bowen in drag!!! UGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

• Speaking of drag, we get our second drag role from Sarah, this time as Bernie Sanders. And that’s still not the worst thing she does in this episode!

• Why is there so much Chloe in this? She’s a shitty impressionist! I guess the reason is because she wrote it, along with the last shitty impression showcase they did.

• Unwelcome return of that horrible Charli XCX impression that Bowen did in the premiere. We also get another Troye Sivan impression, this time from Charli herself.

• Another fucking Dana cameo, this time as Al Pacino? And it’s a really shitty Al Pacino!!!

• Marcello plays two people here, both of whom sound identical to each other. Can Lorne please hire some more impressionists?

• Have you noticed someone missing from this? Where the fuck is James?!!?? He’s the best impressionist in the cast, and he’s nowhere to be seen!!! Apparently, he did have a role in dress rehearsal that got cut out, I guess so we could have time for more “wacky” Chloe shenanigans.

• Probably the worst of these screen test sketches. There wasn’t a single one I laughed at.

Sketch: Thanksgiving Baking Championship

Another edition of the baking show where everything always seems to go wrong.

• First appearance of this sketch in THREE YEARS. What the fuck happened to the writers this week that made them bring out such old material?

• I may be in the minority, but I never get tired of this sketch, though I am questioning why it’s back tonight.

• Marcello’s lame “cornu-hopia” pun was funny.

• Marcello’s creepy Pilgrim cake randomly driving off the table was a fun new twist. 

• Charli’s cake may be the filthiest one ever shown on this sketch. 

• The hat on Heidi’s cake starts moving before she’s supposed to activate it.

• So I take it the only reason Kyle appeared in the cold open is because he was going to be in this sketch? Whatever, I’m not complaining, because his usual pee-pee shaped cake is just as funny as always.

• I really liked this, but I am starting to get a little tired of the format. Maybe they should retire it.

Digital Short: Here I Go

A man and woman sing about their love of snitching.

• Another unnecessary Digital Short revival? Hopefully this one is better than that one from a few episodes ago.

• This is a little catchier than the last one.

• James appears for like two seconds. Christ, what do they have against him?

• I like the “Phones With Which To Snitch”.

• Hilarious random appearance from Colin as a man getting arrested.

• While not as good as their classics, this was a big step up from the Sushi one. 

Sketch: Banger Boyz

Podcast bros gloat about Donald Trump’s victory.

• All three guys here are perfectly cast for this type of podcast.

• I don’t know why, but I really like the delivery of Andrew’s line talking about who built the pyramids.

• Nice stereotypical “dudebro” objects in the background, including a Power Glove. (It’s so bad!)

• Some funny disturbing sponsors, such as a nicotine patch for children. I’m surprised they didn’t mention Raid: Shadow Legends!

• Marcello: “My dad’s 64 and he still kicks my ass every week!”

• Not a fan of the running gag where Trump keeps calling up to make each one of them part of his administration. Apart from that, though, this was a pretty funny satire of those ridiculous “bro” podcasts.

Musical Performance: “360”

Weekend Update (featuring Joe Exotic and Peanut’s widow)

• Lots of Matt Gaetz jokes tonight, none of which are funny.

• Bowen plays Joe Exotic, the Tiger King guy, because we all know he’s famous for being Asian.

• This commentary is pure cancer, especially the idiotic running “gag” where he keeps getting attacked by a tiger’s paw.

• It’s been a while since we’ve gotten an example of Weekend Update’s airplane fetish.

• UGGGHHHH!!!! Che does his annoying “It’s the 90’s” bullshit again! The only reason I bring this up is because I recently read an article that explains why he’s been saying it so much. Apparently, he uses the phrase to mock “woke culture” by saying it after deliberately offensive jokes. Well, it’s not working!

• Hey, didn’t Sarah already play a grieving widow on Update before? Yeah, but that was for an owl. This one’s a squirrel! So different!!!! By the way, this is in reference to a story that happened several weeks ago. Did you expect anything less?

• Back to the Jost Roast routine yet again!!!! After doing surprisingly well in the last few episodes, Sarah has inexplicably reverted back to how she was in Season 49: annoying and unfunny.

Sketch: Acting Teacher

An acting teacher employs very unorthodox methods.

• I don’t really buy Marcello in this role. It should have gone to someone older and more experienced.

• I like Chloe and Andrew’s recreation of a Skyrizi commercial.

• Despite my complaints, Marcello is actually doing pretty well. His usual loud, over-the-top delivery actually fits this kind of character.

• One particularly great part is when Marcello growls in Andrew’s face. I don’t know why that was necessary, but it works.

• As I’ve said before, is it any wonder that one of the better sketches of this bland episode is one that isn’t a rehash?

Musical Performance: “Sympathy Is A Knife”

Sketch: It Girl Thanksgiving Special

A “chic” twist on a traditional Thanksgiving special.

• *groan* Gee, I wonder who wrote this sketch??? *looks at writing credits and sees Jimmy Fowlie’s name* Oh, wow, what a shock!!!!

• This is the type of humor that I really cannot stand on this show. Save this campy shit for Bravo!

• I can’t judge the accuracy of a lot of these impressions, but I’m 100% sure none of them are any good.

• Heidi’s Cher impression is just embarrassing. 

• This sketch reminds me a lot of that Godawful Charli XCX talk show from the premiere. Which makes sense, because that was also a Jimmy Fowlie “masterpiece”.

Sketch: Shrek: The Musical

Tension rises between friends at Shrek: The Musical.

• Corporate synergy!!!!

• You can see a glimpse of the cue cards when Charli’s character enters the sketch.

• No comment on the “unalive” line.

• A Despicable Me mention? Yay, more corporate synergy!!!!

• I didn’t quite understand Sarah’s line about how “directors can be men too”. Uh, no shit???

• Man, what does SNL have against bisexuals? Bowen says “Ew, no!” when accused of being one. 

• Now Bowen has started corpsing. End this fucking shit now!

Note: What the fuck is Punkie doing there??? Did she make a cameo in a sketch that was cut, or was she just dropping in to say hi? Jeez, even after leaving the show, she just can’t get a break!

Cut for Time: Mean Cute

Charli meets the PDD guys.

• Good to see these guys again. Their time on the show is clearly up by now.

• I got a big laugh from Charli calling Ben a “dead-eyed ginger”.

• All of the Italian slurs she’s calling John are pretty funny. Even funnier is that I don’t think he’s Italian.

• I love the gory picture that Martin shows off.

• This was a nice mix of heart and humor, very unlike a lot of their other shorts. It’s a shame that this will probably end up being their final season.

Final thoughts: An overabundance of rehashes, failed attempts at being “hip”, overexposed cast members being annoying, a lack of JAJ, all of this season’s biggest issues were here! 

Best sketches: Thanksgiving Baking Championship, Here I Go, Mean Cute (Cut)

Worst sketches: Cold Open, Babymoon, Wicked Auditions, Sarah’s commentary, It Girl Thanksgiving Special

Next review: Paul Mescal/Shaboozey (worst name for a musician EVER!)

SNL Reviews: Bill Burr/Mk.gee (11/9/24)

 Cold Open

The cast pretends that they’ve been supportive of Donald Trump all along.

• Here we go, folks…

• It’s obvious that everyone is trying not to cry here. From what I’ve heard, they actually cried when Trump won the first time, which sounds hilarious. I wish there was footage of that.

• Lame turn when Kenan announces that everyone has been supporting him the whole time.

• This was uncomfortable to watch when it first aired, and I find it even more uncomfortable now.

• The smug looks on everyone’s faces are what make me really angry. You know how Colin has a book called A Very Punchable Face? That’s how everyone looks right now.

• Actually, scratch that. The thing that makes me the most angry here is the part where Sarah introduces the three newbies, and calls them all “disgusting”. Why do they keep doing this??? Did Tina Fey write that part? I now expect all three of these guys to be fired at the end of the season.

• JAJ comes out as Trump, but this time, he’s RIIIIIPPPPED! I have no idea why, besides “lol funny”.

• If you thought that was bad, then here comes Dana once again. He’s playing Elon Musk, who’s bouncing around like he did at that one Trump rally…two months ago! SNL! Behind the times yet again!!!

•  Not gonna lie, this is one of the most painful things I’ve ever had to sit through for this blog. I got through the Elon Musk episode for Christ’s sake, yet this is the moment that nearly broke me. But, it could have been MUCH worse. At least we didn’t have Maya sitting at the piano singing “Hallelujah”. TLDR: this is one of the worst cold opens ever. Fuck it, let’s move on.

Monologue

Bill Burr does standup about the election, catching the flu, and Shaq’s credibility.

• I’m liking his routine about getting the flu.

• “Alright, ladies, you’re 0-2 against this guy!”

• I sure hope Jimmy Kimmel’s wife didn’t hear the jokes about pantsuits. She hates “minimizing women” to their clothes! No, I’m not making that up.

• I’m surprised they allowed the joke about feminists being ugly. 

• Great material about how the assassination attempt helped Trump win.

• My favorite part is the whole run of jokes at the end about Shaquille O’Neal infomercials. 

• What a huge turnaround from the horrible cold open!

Sketch: Rorschach Test

A deeply-disturbed firefighter keeps seeing cartoon characters engaging in naughty business in his inkblot test.

• Heidi flubs one of her lines pretty badly when talking about the inkblot tests. I was surprised to not see this fixed for the online version.

• James’ delivery of “Don’t be a wiseass, okay?” is hilarious. Have I ever told you how much I love JAJ and I want him to make my babies?

• Uh-oh, I don’t like the turn this is taking with Bill seeing naughty pictures of cartoon characters.

• That one image of a buff Snoopy walking Charlie Brown on a leash (I can’t believe I just wrote that) made me really uncomfortable.

• Is this sketch supposed to be someone’s sexual fantasy? I thought for sure it was a Jimmy Fowlie sketch, but I recently found the writer’s guide, and it says that the Please Don’t Destroy guys wrote this in collaboration with Dan Bulla. You know, the same Dan Bulla who wrote that heartwarming short about the monkey last week. I have a hard time believing this is his work.

Fake Ad: Buffalo Wild Wings

A Bostonian gets angry during a commercial shoot for Buffalo Wild Wings.

• Kind of ironic that they’re using this particular restaurant, because in their real commercials, they’ve been using an anthropomorphic buffalo voiced by our old friend Beck Bennett.

• A sequel to the Samuel Adams ad from Bill’s last episode, which was itself a variation of a Dunkin’ Donuts ad with Casey Affleck in Season 42.

• More great voiceover work from James.

• Figures they would cast Heidi as a Chiefs fan.

• Bill is giving it his all yet again.

• I love how Bill and Mikey’s fight scene is captioned “Real Patriots Fans”. From what my brother tells me, that’s fairly accurate!

• While not as memorable as the Samuel Adams one (which I regret giving a bad score in my original review), it’s still lots of fun.

Sketch: The Best of Snake Skin

Snake Skin’s Greatest Hits are all about sex.

• I love all the airtime Emil’s been getting so far!

• When I heard the name of the first song, “Nah-Nah Train”, I knew this would be an amazing sketch.

• Amazing performances from Andrew, Sarah, and James! Their drummer is played by writer Will Stephen, who looks like he’s actually playing the drums here and not miming to a recording.

• Emil, after hearing that song: “Wow, uh, that…sucked.”

• A laugh from Bill’s description of the band being made up of three forty year old Jews from Long Island.

• Andrew: “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down…YOUR PANTIES, GIIIIIIRL!!!!”

• An absolutely hilarious pastiche of 80’s hair metal. They deserve an Emmy for this!

Film: The Janitor

In a parody of Dead Poet’s Society, a janitor’s genius is overshadowed by barf.

• Great to see another lead role for Longfellow.

• I’ve never seen Dead Poet’s Society, but Andrew’s character is cracking me up.

• Great shot of the Roomba spraying vomit all over the place after Michael picks it up.

• I even like Kenan’s appearance as the Dean. He’s playing his part surprisingly restrained.

• Shocking absolutely nobody, James’ Robin Williams impression is spot on and hilarious.

• Great ending where a JAJ stunt double slips on the vomit.

• For a sketch about something as juvenile as vomit, this was really funny.

Sketch: Calling Dad

Parents mistake emotional phone calls for trivial matters.

• Why does somebody in the audience go “Woo!” when Bill’s character is about to answer the phone?

• There aren’t many laughs here, but that’s the point. I like the slice-of-life nature of this sketch, which is something we rarely get from modern SNL.

• Bill does get a pretty funny line in at the end with his nonsense about his car having polyps in its ass.

Musical Performance: “Rockman”

• “Rockman”? You mean like Mega Man?

• *sees song and it turns out to not be about what I thought* What is this?!??? This song sucks!!!!

Weekend Update (featuring Willie and A Woman Who Can’t Find Something In Her Purse)

• *sigh* Prepare for pain…

• If you know me, then you know that I absolutely hated the altar boy joke.

• Hmm, these jokes aren’t as bad as I remembered. But here comes Ego to change all that with a specifically named character commentary.

• Ego is performing as well as she usually does, but she can’t save this tepid prop comedy routine.

• What does Donald Trump have to do with a joke about a women’s baseball league?

• I liked the joke about Gladiator and Wicked combining to make “Glad-Dicked”.

• Oh, wow, Che just made a joke implying that all police officers are racist! Never seen that before!

• Che follows that with a pretty solid Diddy joke, which he then ruins by doing his stupid “It’s the 90’s” catchphrase again. Why does he keep saying that????

• I’m surprised at how much I’m laughing at some of these jokes. That one about the AOL “You’ve got mail” guy was really funny.

• Kenan brings back his Willie character for the first time since 2020.

• He won me over as soon as he mentioned that he can’t be Che’s neighbor anymore because he lives near a school.

• A particularly funny line about running over Lorne Michaels.

• The only thing I don’t like is Che’s constant laughter at this. Has he been possessed by Seth Myers?

• Overall, a surprisingly strong Update once we got past all the Trump stuff.

Sketch: Bald Men

A romantic date gets interrupted by bald men singing about how wonderful it is to be bald.

• I feel like we’ve barely seen Mikey this season. It’s obvious that his time is up now that he’s had the Biden impression taken away from him.

• He’s wasted no time in bringing out his trademark explaining and reacting routine!

• Thankfully, that isn’t the focus, because we are then treated to a fantastic song about bald people.

• There are certain times where I see something on this show that leaves me absolutely speechless, and this is one of those moments. This has to be the largest amount of bald people on stage at once.

• I urge you to go watch this amazing piece of music for yourself, because my words can’t do it justice. 

Sketch: Trauma Support Group

A traumatized man isn’t very good at sharing his trauma with others.

• The look of Bill’s character is hilarious!

• I like Bowen’s douchebag character. It’s like he’s trying to channel Beck Bennett.

• Funny part where Bowen says he’s upset that his vote didn’t count, only to reveal that this is because he was watching an old episode of The Voice.

• Emil has been all over this episode! Sadly, this increase in airtime doesn’t last, because he goes back to his usual underuse next week.

• The part about Tubi was another really funny scene.

• Is this even Bowen Yang I’m watching right now? Why is he not annoying me? Am I in an alternate reality?

• You can see Bowen trying to hold back his laughter after he puts out his cigarette on Ashley’s leg.

• The hits just keep on coming in this episode! This is definitely one of Bowen’s best performances!

Musical Performance: “Alesis”

Sketch: I Got One

Linda isn’t good at telling jokes.

• Ashley Padilla’s first lead role! Apparently this is a character she used to play at The Groundlings.

• I can tell this is a character she’s been playing for years. She is coming off as a natural when telling her awful dog joke.

• A particularly funny reaction face from Kenan when Ashley is telling the same joke again.

• I got a big laugh from the mention of Ashley collapsing at Marshall’s.

• A heartwarming ending where they all admit that Ashley was actually kind of funny.

Note: A memorial for Quincy Jones appears before the goodnights.

Final thoughts: With the exception of the cold open, this was one of the strongest episodes in a long time! Bill Burr was an amazing host yet again! Why can’t he be in the Five-Timer’s Club instead of Mulaney?

Best sketches: Monologue, Snake Skin, Willie’s commentary, Bald Men

Worst sketches: Cold Open, Rorschach Test

Next review: Charli XCX

SNL Reviews: John Mulaney/Chappell Roan (11/2/24)

 Today’s Retro Decimator Quote is…

“Kyle: “I don’t need to listen to you, you jealous n****r!” LOL!!!” (from Jake Gyllenhaal/Camilla Cabello)

Cold Open

Kamala gets a pep talk from…ugh…herself.

• *groan* More annoying Maya shenanigans. At least this is the last time we’ll be seeing her Godawful Kamala impression…I hope!

• Did Trump just make a “grab ‘em by the pussy” joke? What year is this?? I know he says “Remember that?”, but that doesn’t change the fact that this is an old-ass reference.

• The audience doesn’t respond to Jim Gaffigan and Andy Samberg making another cameo. I guess even they’re tired of the constant member berries.

• That stupid fucking laugh Maya does gets more annoying every time I hear it.

• You have no idea how tired I am of seeing Dana Carvey and his dopey mugging face at this point. I was about to say that this is his final appearance as Biden, but then I remembered he has one more a couple episodes from now.

• Then…something horrible happens. Something I can’t believe they would even have the gall to do. Maya looks in a mirror and sees…the real Kamala Harris. To quote my reaction when this first aired, WHAT THE FUCK?!??

• The audience, unsurprisingly, goes nuts for this horrible attempt at affecting the votes. They’re so loud that you can’t even hear the real Kamala’s first line of dialogue.

• Is this even a comedy show anymore? Why am I watching Kamala Harris give a motivational speech to her impersonator? This is a fine example of clapter at its worst.

• On the plus side, this thankfully ended up backfiring on SNL, because she went on to lose, and we never have to see Maya’s stupid impression again!!!!

• Overall, definitely the low point of these horrible election sketches. Satire is fucking dead, and it was killed by liberals and the Fun Police.

Monologue 

Mulaney does standup about his family.

• What is this hairstyle supposed to be?

• Apart from that, he looks a lot better than he has in quite a while.

• I suppose it’s kind of heartwarming hearing him do standup about his family, but I’m not exactly laughing.

• It seems like every monologue of his gets progressively blander. 

Sketch: What’s That Name?

A special Political Edition!!!

• Ooh, What’s That Name? is back? C’mon out, Bill Hader!!!

• *sees Michael Longfellow come out as the host* What the Hell is this??? You’re not Bill Hader!!!! They really couldn’t have asked him to come back? I’ve heard several other fans say that Bill might be done with SNL for good, and I used to laugh at those suggestions. But, given that he hasn’t appeared since that Hal Willner tribute in Season 45, I’m starting to see what they’re talking about. This sketch just confirmed it for me. 

• Despite my apprehension, I am happy to see Longfellow with a lead role. He deserves it. And, hey, at least it’s better than seeing Kenan in this role for the millionth time.

• Not sure if a Political Edition is the best way to go.

• More Democrat dick-sucking when they have Doug Emhoff as the first question, and they say that he’s definitely going to become the first “First Gentleman”.

• I laughed at Mulaney’s cheesy “Resistance” type quote about heroes not wearing capes.

• Mulaney suddenly going into a speech about how important this election is kinda rubs me the wrong way. I’m sure you could excuse it by saying it’s just part of his character, but the applause that follows his speech makes me think otherwise.

• Random appearance from Tim Kaine. Who? You know, the guy who was going to be Hillary’s Vice President? What’s that? You don’t remember him? Yeah, I forgot all about him, too.

• Unique detail of Mulaney’s profile picture being from the last installment of this sketch.

• I laughed at his inaccurate guess of “Tamika Nawlins” being one of twelve black people he tweeted the names of.

• Bizarre twist where Sarah’s character is revealed to be the author of A Handmaid’s Tale.

• Overall, this is probably the worst installment of this sketch. I still got some laughs, but the whole political slant didn’t work for me.

Midnight Matinee: Beppo 

Beppo the astronaut chimp has trouble during a mission.

• Another “Midnight Matinee” film? Let’s see where this goes…

• JAJ’s first appearance since the cold open. Why do they keep sidelining him???

• When I first saw this, I thought that “Beppo” was a real chimp, but I recently saw a picture of Sarah posing with him that showed he was actually a puppet.

• Apparently that’s James doing Beppo’s computer voice, which further proves how talented he is. Why SNL doesn’t seem to understand that, I don’t know.

• Mulaney: “Beppo no go home. Beppo die.”

• I’m actually getting tears in my eyes. That Dan Bulla is a genius, I tell you.

• The audience going “Awww” when it looks like Beppo won’t make it home is really charming.

• Funny random reveal that Beppo is actually a Communist.

• Heartwarming ending where he makes it back home. Awwww….

• We get the same “A Film by Dan Bulla” card at the end, except the shrimp has been replaced by one of those singing pillows from “My Best Friend’s House”.

• Another great Dan Bulla short. He is quickly becoming one of my favorite writers. Unfortunately, as of this writing, we haven’t had another one of these Midnight Matinee shorts make it on the air.

Sketch: Port Authority Duane Reade

A man learns why you shouldn’t buy organic milk from Duane Reade.

• UGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! Guess what time it is!!! Another one of those overrated, Godawful Mulaney Musical sketches!

• Because of that, we get an unwelcome cameo from Pete Davidson. I don’t know why, considering he was replaced by Andrew the last time they did this, so they could have just chosen someone else to replace him here. But SNL just looooooves their cameos!

• Something about Kenan and Ego’s possum costumes looks really cheap, like a fourth grader made them for art class. Compare it to Kenan’s costume from the original Lobster version, and it’s like night and day.

• Another thing I’ve noticed about the various installments of these is just how long they’ve gotten. Diner Lobster was only about five and a half minutes, but this Duane Reade version is EIGHT and a half minutes. It also doesn’t help that they’ve devolved into a confusing mishmash of parodies from many different musicals, while the original kept its focus on Les Miserables. Wow, I can’t believe I’m actually singing the praises of Diner Lobster, a sketch that I also really hate. But at least that one had actual focus!

• Here, we have “parodies” of songs from The Lion King, The Sound of Music, Wonka, and some others I don’t know, because I’m not a theater kid.

• Wow, the part where Mulaney slaps Andrew is so sloppy. His hand comes nowhere near him!

• Bowen’s voice in this sketch is so horrible. 

• Chloe’s shitty impression of Timothee Chalamet returns for no reason.

• Another pointless appearance from Samberg, this time as a rapping bear.

• A lot of fans were also upset that Chappell Roan wasn’t included here, as she would have fit in well. I, on the other hand, couldn’t care less, as this would have sucked even with her involvement.

• Definitely the worst of these musical sketches. Their novelty has worn off by now, so it would probably be a good idea to stop doing them.

Musical Performance: “Pink Pony Club”

Weekend Update (featuring Reba MacEntire and The Couple You Can’t Believe Are Together)

• Still doing “seen here” jokes.

• Let’s see…Trump clips, reacting to Trump clips, jokes calling Trump a rapist, masturbation jokes, all of the usual Jost/Che “hits” are here!

• Heidi has a commentary as Reba MacEntire. It’s just her usual Southern accent but with a ridiculous wig.

• She’s going heavy on the mugging, but she is playing Reba, so that’s to be expected.

• I laughed at the Armie Hammer joke.

• Wise move from Che to skip the story about the Dodgers’ World Series win.

• Che’s lame “Pop-sicle” joke was funny.

• Che being the image of a “cheating man” was the best part of this Update.

• Marcello and Jane Wickline are here as “The Couple You Can’t Believe Are Together”. Ugh, with a title like that, I’m sure it’s gonna suck.

• Unsurprisingly, Marcello is going full ham here, screaming every single one of his words. Jane is doing better and has funnier dialogue.

• Marcello mentioning Steven Universe is something I never wanted to happen on this show.

Sketch: Family Bonds

An old sitcom starring Little Richard.

• Oh, FUCK YOU, SNL!!!! How dare you try to make a sequel to the amazing Switcheroo sketch from Mulaney’s first episode!!! That’s right, Jay Paultodd is back, and this time…he’s not portrayed as a crazy person who needs to be locked up.

• Making things worse is the presence of Bowen as the interviewer. Cecily was so perfect in this role in the original sketch, and this is just a huge downgrade.

• The bit about showing a brutal car crash in the very first episode is the only thing that would fit in well with the original sketch.

• It’s a shame, because there are moments in here that could work if this wasn’t a lame retread. I genuinely like the bad sitcom acting from Heidi, Mikey, and Marcello,

• Then this sketch gets hijacked by Kenan doing his ancient mugging shtick as Little Richard. This doesn’t even feel like a sequel to Switcheroo anymore.

• Bowen: “You don’t have to have a guest star in every episode.” Someone should tell that to SNL!!!

• Just like I feared, this was a sorry follow up to one of my favorite sketches of all time. 

Musical Performance: “The Giver”

Fake Ad: Harvey Epstein For City Council

Harvey Epstein tries to distance himself from the other Harvey and the other Epstein.

• Ah, now here’s something I was actually looking forward to seeing again!

• After I first saw this episode, I eventually found out that this is a real person. Hard to believe, but it’s true!

• The various clips of Epstein’s name inconveniencing him are all hilarious.

• “Tell ‘em Harvey Epstein gave you something good to eat!”

• Great line from Andrew about how even Hillary couldn’t kill him.

• There’s so many good lines here that I don’t know which ones to choose, but I think my favorite one of all is the very end, when Heidi’s voiceover tells us that together, we can turn Manhattan into “Epstein’s Island”!

• As it turns out, the real Harvey Epstein is a big SNL fan, and he loved this sketch!

Note: Nice tribute in memory of Teri Garr, who passed away the week of this episode.

Final thoughts: Well, it had to happen sooner or later. Our very first weak Mulaney episode. Half of the sketches were shitty rewrites of past Mulaney material, and don’t even get me started on that awful cameo from Kamala Harris at the beginning. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that all of the sketches I liked here are ones that weren’t retreads.

Best sketches: Beppo, Harvey Epstein

Worst sketches: Cold Open, Port Authority Duane Reade, Family Bonds

Next review: Bill Burr/Mk.gee

SNL Reviews: Michael Keaton/Billie Eilish (10/19/24)

 Today’s Retro Decimator Quote is…

“Well, here we are, folks. The final (vocal) appearance of Alec Baldwin as Trump…and it’s just one line about him wanting a hamburger. Get it?!?? He’s fat!!!!” (From Dave Chappelle/Foo Fighters, Season 46)

Why did I choose that particular quote? Well…

Cold Open: The Kamala Interview

Fox News interviews Kamala, and constantly interrupts her.

• UGGGGHHHHH!!!! An unwelcome return from Alec fucking Baldwin. Now do you see why I had that retro quote up there?

• Anyway, in this one, he’s playing some Fox News guy named Brett Baier who I’ve never heard of. Just as long as he’s not Trumpwin again, then I’m okay with it.

• Unfortunately, Maya is back yet again. Is she living under the stage or something? Nobody wants you here, Maya! Just go away!!!

• As expected, Baldwin’s performance is just horrible. He’s coming off a little…rusty, if you see what I did there…

• Ugh, more cringey social media shit with Kamala. Aaaand it’s making fun of something she did several months ago. Typical SNL!

• Seeing JAJ’s excellent Trump impression in the same sketch as Alec Baldwin makes you realize just how bad Trumpwin was.

• I did get a bit of a chuckle from Trump dancing to the Village People, even if it is just a lame reenactment of something that he did in real life. But that’s SNL’s idea of satire these days: just have him do something he already did in real life, and that’ll be good enough!!!

• I am beyond sick of Maya saying “J’Biden”. It was never funny, and it never will be funny.

• Speaking of Biden, Dana Carvey is still playing him. What “wacky” shenanigans is he up to now? He’s talking about…the new Joker movie. You see, the joke is that he’s old and doesn’t know what he’s talking about!

• We haven’t had a single good cold open this entire season. Would you believe that the next one is even worse???

Monologue

Mikey and Andy Samberg celebrate our host’s career.

• Nice to hear him give a shout out to his early days working with Mr. Rogers.

• Dead on Beetlejuice impression from Mikey.

• Andy Samberg again??!!?? Is he also hiding under the stage or something?

• I never expected Sarah of all people to have such a good impression of him as well.

Sketch: ShopTV

“The Cookie Guy” shows off his new cookies that bear a strong resemblance to private parts.

• Not this shit again.

• Pretty amusing sight of camera operator Paul Cangialosi dressed as a Minion.

• *sigh* It’s the same old routine with this sketch. Someone comes on and shows off their latest treat, which happens to look like someone’s dick or whatever. Oh, but this time, they switch it up a bit. Now they look like boobs!!!! So progressive!!!

• After this episode aired, I was browsing Twitter and I noticed a viral post featuring cookies that looked almost exactly like the ones in this sketch. That’s right! SNL is once again trying to poorly cash in on a popular Internet trend!

Please Don’t Destroy: Skydiving

Chaos occurs as the boys go skydiving for the first time.

• Surprisingly the first appearance of these guys all season. Up until now, we were all assuming that they were gone for good. 

• Nice change of setting.

• Big role for Emil Wakim as the pilot. He has another big showcase coming up later.

• Keaton’s character is so bizarre and unlike anything else in one of these shorts.

• I love the goofy selfie Ben takes of himself, complete with his grandfather’s ghost randomly appearing in the background.

• Amazing gory ending where John and Ben get cut in half by the plane’s rear wing. 

Sketch: Forbidden Romance

A man makes a black family increasingly uncomfortable by singing “Hey, Soul Sister”.

• “Detroit, Michigan 1955”? How long is it gonna take for them to drop that premise?

• Aaaaaaaand now we get a random performance of that shitty Train song “Hey, Soul Sister”. 

• I feel really old now. I remember when this was still a new and relevant song. 

• The joke of this sketch doesn’t quite make sense to me. Are they trying to imply that this song is racist? Last I checked, people hate this song because it sucks, not because of any possible “racism”.

Film: TikTok

More unfunny TikTok shenanigans.

• Ugh, we’re doing this again? Thankfully, this will probably be the last time they ever do it if the TikTok ban goes through.

• That Domingo song from last episode can be heard during a video of Emil dancing with a cat. I guess they’re making light of how popular this song became on TikTok?

• Devon has a pretty good performance as some preacher.

• UGGHHHHHH!!! Another unwelcome appearance from Maya as Kamala during one scene where some really gay guy (played by Bowen, naturally) is singing to her.

• A genuine laugh from Marcello’s scene with all the fireworks going off.

• JAJ’s Trump also makes an appearance here.

• Now we have TWO Kamala appearances?!??? PLEASE GO AWAY!!!!!!!

Musical Performance: “Birds Of A Feather”

Weekend Update (featuring Emil Wakim and Sarah Sherman)

• Once again, the Trump clips are funnier than the actual “jokes” about them.

• Che follows a horrible anti-Catholic joke by saying “It’s the 90’s!” once again. Why does he keep doing that?

• Ah, now we get a commentary from Emil Wakim.

• So he’s an Arab Christian? I thought Danny Thomas was the only one!

• Unfortunately, he goes on to talk about how his father is a Republican, and therefore, a racist. He also tries to say that the Middle East was normal before America started bombing them, which is just fucking stupid.

• Again with the 90’s??? That’s twice in one episode!

• As tired as I am of the jokes about Colin secretly being racist, I did laugh at the one about the Klansmen looking candles having his face.

• Another funny joke about a man with the penises getting surgery to add a third hand.

• For the first time in forever, Sarah does a commentary as herself.

• Not much to say about this one, but it is refreshing not to see Sarah wearing some stupid costume. This is more along the lines of her commentaries from her first season that I loved so much. It also helps that she’s not entirely focused on the Jost Roasting for once.

Sketch: Think About It

An Uber ride turns into a conspiracy-themed game show.

• Ego in drag yet again. I hate how this has become a trend. 

• Was Ego’s introduction to the game show (“Live from this Chevy Malibu, it’s Think About It!”) supposed to be a meta-reference?

• I sure love how Bowen and Sarah are explaining everything to us!

• This “Jiggylane Maxwell” running gag is so hacky.

• Keaton’s character is kind of amusing. I’m just looking for something to like here!

• It would have been funny if the sketch ended with them all driving off a cliff.

Musical Performance: “Wildflower”

Sketch: Horror Choreographer

A flamboyant actor keeps screwing up his takes.

• They showed a preview of this sketch during that night’s college football game. I can’t remember if SNL has ever done this before.

• I love seeing Andrew get a big role!

• The look of Keaton’s character has me extremely worried.

• Yeah, this was pretty much the same joke over and over. Unsurprisingly, Jimmy Fowlie was one of the writers.

Sketch: Tableside

A restaurant patron confuses his server with a woman from his past.

• I believe this same Mexican restaurant set was also used in the Jessica Chastain episode, albeit heavily repainted.

• Heidi’s character says she would’ve been two years old in 1987, which isn’t too far off. In real life, she would have been four.

• Ashley Padilla is almost unrecognizable as the wife character.

• I’m finding this to have some charm to it that a lot of sketches are missing these days. Also, I really love the sappy synth music that plays whenever Keaton and Heidi’s characters go into their dramatic monologues.

• Nice angry outburst from Heidi at the end.

Cut for Time: Two Guys Dressed as Doctors

In this cut Update commentary, two random guys offer up some Halloween costume suggestions.

• Unusual pairing of Marcello and Michael Longfellow. Despite joining the show in the same season, that’s surprisingly rare.

• Nice bit with them being confused for the Menendez brothers.

• Okay, the Menendez talk is going on a little too long.

• I like the part with the Saturday Night Fever costume being called “Guy On His Way To A Diddy White Party”.

• Great with the E.T. costume being referred to as “Kamala’s Border Policy”.

• While this was pretty funny, I can see why it was cut.

Final thoughts: A huge downgrade from the last episode. While Michael Keaton was his usual professional self, the writing had a very “been there, done that” feeling. Believe it or not, we still haven’t seen the worst of this season yet.

Best sketches: Skydiving, Tableside, Sarah’s commentary 

Worst sketches: The Kamala Interview, ShopTV, TikTok, Horror Choreographer

Next review: John Mulaney/Chappell Roan

SNL Reviews: Ariana Grande/Stevie Nicks (10/12/24)

 Today’s Retro Decimator Quote is…

“Michael Che is wearing a Madea shirt for some reason. I can’t believe that’s a sentence I just typed.” (From At Home 2, Season 45)

And all these years later, I still can’t believe it. Why was he wearing that??? Oh well, on with the show!

Cold Open: Family Feud

SNL trots out a tired old format again.

• First appearance of Kenan’s Steve Harvey since 2019.

• Ugh, it’s Maya again. Please go away.

• That laugh she does is really annoying.

• All of the other member berries on the Democrat side are back too. Yaaaay…

• Steve Harvey: “Tim, when black comedians make jokes about white people, they talkin’ about you!” Okay, I did chuckle at this line.

• Ha ha, Biden thinks that he’s talking to Regis!!! You see, it’s funny because he’s old!

• What’s the deal with not including Melania? Could Cecily not make it or something? If so, then thank God, because we don’t need her making this worse. It also makes me wonder why they couldn’t just recast her. Was Cecily’s take just that irreplaceable?

• Return of Mikey as Don Jr. I know I keep saying this, but it’s still sad that they continue to have him show up without Alex Moffat.

• Bowen’s non-impression of J.D. Vance has also returned, but who cares about him?

• Now Biden thinks he’s on Wheel of Fortune!!! Isn’t that just wacky???

• These political sketches continue to flop. I haven’t seen a series of election sketches so awful since…well, the last election!!!

Monologue

Ariana talks about her role in Wicked before singing a song about keeping things low-key.

• It feels so surreal seeing Ariana Grande on SNL. I used to watch her on Nickelodeon as a kid all the time.

• Not a big fan of her election comment.

• I was expecting a musical monologue because of who’s hosting, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’ve had to review like 27 of them in the last few days.

• Horrifying sight of Bowen in a dress.

Sketch: Bridesmaids

Some ladies reveal secrets about a bride.

• I love the dumb voice James has at the beginning, along with the ridiculous things he’s saying.

• Another musical number??? I don’t like where this is going…

• At least Andrew is pretty good in the straight man role.

• There seems to be a microphone malfunction when Sarah sings “The next day…” No, they didn’t fix this for the online version. Why would they?

• For whatever reason, this bland, laughless sketch really blew up on TikTok, specifically the part at the end with Marcello appearing as “Domingo”. It got to the point where people started harassing Marcello IRL to do the Domingo routine. As much as I hate the route he’s been going down lately, I feel sorry for him. Nobody deserves to have that happen!

Film: My Best Friend’s House

Ariana discovers that her friend’s house is a murder site.

• Ooh, a new title card for a “Saturday Night Live Movie Matinee”!

• When I first saw this, I didn’t know what to think of the furniture and other household items randomly talking. Now I think it’s really funny, and there is a reason for it…

• Despite being our third consecutive musical sketch tonight, I’m not hating this at all.

• And now we get a big twist, where it’s revealed that this is actually the home of the “Crossword Killer”, which they subtly set up earlier when we saw Mikey doing a crossword puzzle. I didn’t catch that the first time!

• No comment on the “kinda sus” line.

• I love the shot of Sarah’s frozen head.

• Mikey’s angry ranting as he’s being taken away is one of his best performances in a long time. 

• And now we see that this is the work of Dan Bulla, who has his own title card at the end featuring Tiny Horse, a Meatball (from that weird Season 47 film), Pongo (love that little guy!), and part of the Shrimp Tower.

Sketch: Charades with Mom

A mom gets tense with her son’s boyfriend.

• Big roles for Wickline and Emil Wakim in this sketch!

• Never thought I’d hear a reference to Totoro on this show. 

• Bowen is also really surprising me here. This is the stuff I want to see from him.

• I never thought I’d hear Ariana Grande insult somebody’s penis size. 

• You have no idea how cathartic it is to see Bowen get put in his place for once.

• Andrew: “Hey! Hey! Don’t you dare show my wife your pecker!!!”

• I love the brief use of an Ariana dummy when Bowen’s assaulting her.

• It must have really hurt Bowen inside to have to kiss Ariana. The audience goes nuts when this happens.

• Definitely one of the best sketches we’ve had so far this season. Tonight’s episode is on a roll with these last two sketches!

Fake Ad: UFC 308

Celine Dion advertises the UFC.

• Ariana reprises her Celine Dion impression from the last time she hosted. It’s nowhere near as funny or iconic as Ana Gasteyer’s, but it’s decent.

• I love the juxtaposition of Celine Dion singing one of her ballads over footage of people getting beaten up.

• Short and simple.

Musical Performance: “The Lighthouse”

Weekend Update (featuring Monica and Noel and Liam Gallagher)

• I really wish they’d stop focusing on reacting to Trump clips. This isn’t The Daily Show.

• Nice to hear the audience’s reaction to the possibility of a “Subway Series”. If they only knew how it ended…

• Ego’s first commentary in quite a while. This time, she’s playing an Amazon employee named Monica, who’s secretly not happy with her life.

• While this is a typical Ego character, something about her performance is making it come off as fresher this time. I love her freaky wide eyes!

• The “STD/USB” joke was lame, but I still laughed.

• Overall, one of Ego’s best commentaries in a long time.

• Che’s fruit fly joke was just dumb, and he follows it up with that stupid “It’s the 90’s” quote again.

• I did laugh at his R. Kelly joke, though.

• Now we get an appearance from Noel and Liam Gallagher from Oasis, played by James and Sarah, respectively.

• Sarah feels a little miscast here, but I’m okay with it as long as it’s not about her roasting Colin again.

• James, on the other hand, is spot on and hilarious as Noel!

• Despite my initial misgivings, this commentary is a lot of fun. The sight of the guys from Oasis arguing like toddlers is an amazing thing to witness.

• Never mind. Even in this setting, Sarah can’t resist getting in at least one shot at Colin! Thankfully, it’s just for a few seconds.

• The Update jokes were as bland as usual, but for the first time in forever, I actually liked both commentaries! 

Sketch: Castrati

A boy singer’s genitals are removed.

• Again with the shitty Italian accents? What’s with all of the Italian stereotypes on this show lately? Kenan’s in particular is really bad.

• Now we have a pointless appearance from Maya and Andy again. I’m getting a bad feeling about this.

• As if it couldn’t get any more suspicious, now we have Ariana in drag as a little boy. WTF??? I’ve heard rumors that she’s into age play, and this certainly isn’t helping.

• Another WTF from me at the reveal that Ariana’s character has been castrated to preserve his high voice.

•. This sketch seems to be very popular with a number of other fans. I’m afraid I don’t agree with them. I thought this was way too long, full of bad stereotypes, and unnecessary cameos.

Musical Performance: “Edge of Seventeen”

Note: Okay, there’s something I really need to address here, because it’s symptomatic of how bad SNL’s technical standards have gotten. Just before this performance was scheduled to start, there was an issue with the sound board. As a result, viewers at home were treated to an overly long bumper photo of Nicks while they tried to get it fixed. This also led to a Cinema Classics sketch getting cut (Yay!!!!) which would have had Ariana reprising her Judy Garland impression from the last time she hosted.

Sketch: Maybelline

Jennifer Coolidge advertises Maybelline with various clones.

• Meh, I’ve seen enough of Chloe’s Jennifer Coolidge impression.

• Interesting twist with Ariana appearing in the mirror as a second Coolidge. They’ve done several sketches like this before (most notably the Mick Jagger one in Season 27).

• Ugh, Dana makes another appearance, this time as a third Coolidge.

Sketch: The Hotel Detective

Detective Sam Stanley trades fast-paced wordplay with a femme fatale.

• Whoa, two live sketches in a row??? Due to the mishap with the sound board earlier, it left time open for another sketch, so they hastily inserted this one from dress rehearsal. I’m not complaining, though, because more JAJ is always welcome.

• This reminds me of that noir sketch he did with Sharon Stone a couple seasons ago. I remember that one being really good.

• Already a big laugh from that Jimmy Stewart-esque “aw shucks” voice James is using, which he expertly switches out of once he reveals that he is actually a detective.

• Ariana is also a natural for this sketch. I had no idea she was able to talk that fast.

• Brief glimpse of the cue cards when Andrew’s character reveals that he is also a detective.

• Another priceless reveal that James’ character is not Sam Stanley, he’s actually “Stam Sanley”.

• Random appearance from Longfellow as Rod Serling at the end.

• This feels like a sketch that the late 80’s cast would have done. I absolutely love it! Thank God for those technical difficulties!

Final thoughts: At last we get a solid episode! While not perfect, there seemed to be a lot more effort in the writing this week. It should also go without saying that I adored Ariana’s work as well. She’s welcome to come back any time!

Best sketches: My Best Friend’s House, Charades with Mom, Oasis commentary, The Hotel Detective

Worst sketches: Family Feud, Maybelline

Next review: Michael Keaton/Billie Eilish

SNL Reviews: Nate Bargatze/Coldplay (10/5/24)

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SNL Reviews: Jean Smart/Jelly Roll (9/28/24)

 I hope you guys enjoy my Season 50 reviews…because this will be my last season as a reviewer!

To commemorate the occasion, in each review, I’ll be posting a random quote from one of my older posts.

“The only time I laughed was when Pete Davidson was told to shut up.” (From Adam Driver/Kanye West, Season 44)

Cold Open: World News Tonight

Kamala Harris and Donald Trump have feuding rallies.

• *sigh* This is going to be a loooooong season. Remember during the last election cycle when SNL got a bunch of criticism for relying too much on celebrity cameos to play their political figures? Well, we’re back to doing that again for this election cycle!!!

• Absolutely great to see Andrew Dismukes front and center at the beginning of the season’s first sketch! He doesn’t look a thing like David Muir, but that’s not our biggest problem here… 

• Do you know what is the biggest problem here? Maya fucking Rudolph is back as Kamala Harris! UGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

• The first words out of her mouth already make me want to die. We get more outdated “fun aunt” jokes that don’t match how Kamala is now, and Maya is still portraying her as a saintly figure who can do no wrong.

• That Sabrina Carpenter joke was particularly bad.

• “You see, Donald Trump is stuck in the past.” You mean like the SNL writing staff?

• Jim Gaffigan isn’t really my cup of tea, but I’m sure there was a better role SNL could have given him. Was anybody really clamoring to see him do a shitty Tim Walz impression?

• Speaking of unnecessary cameos, now we have Andy Samberg playing Doug Emhoff. As much as I love Andy, he’s so bland in this role, and his dialogue sucks. I mean, comparing himself to Charlie Brown if he were grown up? What???

• The live airing had a bizarre error where they briefly cut back to Maya dancing when Trump is introduced. The online version corrects this error.

• Thankfully, JAJ is still Trump, and not some random celebrity. Has he gotten any funnier? Nope! A lot of his “funny” dialogue is taken verbatim from the actual debate that was held that week. This is why he’s talking about immigrants eating pets, because that’s a thing that he said in real life, so let’s just copy it since we have no original ideas!!! Hooray!!!

• We also get a look at who they chose to play J.D. Vance. Fortunately, it’s a cast member, but unfortunately, it’s fucking Bowen Yang. Because Vance is well known for being Asian. Why not somebody like Michael Longfellow? Oh wait, he isn’t a “star” like Bowen is, so he might as well not exist to Lorne.

• But nothing could have prepared me for what was about to come next. Out of nowhere, we inexplicably have yet another new portrayal of Biden. This time, it’s the withered corpse of Dana Carvey. While not as Godawful as Fire Marshall Biden, it leaves a lot to be desired. He sounds more like Dana Carvey than Joe Biden. Also, Dana goes waaaaay overboard with the mugging here, which is a problem he’s had for a while now.

• If the cold open was this bad, then the rest of the show must be pure gold!!!

Note: We have some new cast members, namely Jane Wickline, Emil Wakim, and Ashley Padilla. I have no idea who any of these people are, but Wickline’s father is apparently an old friend of Lorne Michaels. Yup, it’s nepotism time!!!!!! Wakim’s hiring is notable because he’s the first person of Muslim descent on the show since Nasim Pedrad left. Padilla is a member of The Groundlings, which means she’s probably going to be doing a lot of work with James Anderson, Jr. (aka Jimmy Fowlie).

There’s also a brand-new intro, and I have to say, it looks really good. I hope this isn’t just a temporary intro for this season only!

Monologue

Jean Smart sings “I Happen To Like New York”.

• Mu only point of reference for who Jean is comes from this cartoon called “The Oblongs” (where Will Ferrell played her husband).

• This turns into a musical monologue after only a minute. That’s like the third episode in a row!

• The Eric Adams joke was pretty lame.

• So far, we’re just getting a bunch of jokes about how filthy New York is.

• “Lesbians are obsessed with me.” Ummmm….okay?

• This wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever seen, but it doesn’t paint a good picture for the rest of the show.

Sketch: The $100,000 Pyramid

“Wacky” shenanigans happen on the game show.

• “You must be in the lobby at the dentist’s office, because you’re watching the Game Show Network!” UGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! This is the material we’re starting the show with? A hacky, overused joke that was never funny?

• I got an unintentional laugh from some lady in the audience going “Yeeaaaah” when Devon as Michael Strahan introduces himself.

• Double UGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! Chloe’s playing that “Hawk Tuah” girl!!! I was afraid this was going to happen, but thankfully, she’s just a part of this sketch instead of getting her own.

• Marcello is playing Bad Bunny, and he sounds nothing like him. You’d think that he would know how to do the voice after having done several sketches with him last year, but I guess not. It’s just his normal voice but with a thicker accent.

• And we’ve now gotten to the point that every single thing Marcello does is accompanied by cheers from the girls in the audience.

• I got a laugh from Kenan’s Mark Robinson saying that cheating on your wife is what you do in the club.

• Is that a real monkey with Jean? Or is it a puppet? I honestly can’t tell.

• Oh, the monkey just facepalmed. Now I know it’s a puppet.

• No comment on the scene where it starts breastfeeding Jean.

• Emil makes his first appearance as that Turkish sharpshooter that I completely forgot about till now.

• One of the worst lead off sketches I’ve ever seen. This episode is already looking pretty bad.

Fake Ad: Spirit Halloween

An ad for the one store that will always be there for you…Spirit Halloween!

• Jane and Ashley make their first appearances in this one…aaaaaand they have no dialogue.

• Unusual twist where this turns out to be a Spirit Halloween commercial. 

• Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like it’s a little too late for them to be making Spirit Halloween jokes. Other people have been making jokes about Spirit taking over old stores for years, and SNL doesn’t really have anything new to add. 

• I did get a laugh from the legally distinct Oompa-Loompa and Minion costumes.

• Surprisingly, this is the first time we’ve seen Mikey all night. He must be crying in his dressing room after getting the Biden impression taken away from him for no reason. 

• I love the “Blonde Singing Woman” costume which is supposed to be Taylor Swift. When the girl who orders it complains that it isn’t Taylor Swift, I like Chloe’s condescending delivery of “And neither are you.”

• This wasn’t too bad, but I think it would have worked better if Spirit Halloween jokes weren’t so overdone. Hilariously, Spirit themselves responded to this sketch, posting an image of a costume for an “irrelevant 50-year old TV show”.

Sketch: Textbook Writer

A math textbook writer has unusual methods.

• Not really caring for the main joke of this sketch.

• Mikey’s reacting routine is so old hat by this point.

• In the live airing, Jean screwed up when she was supposed to show the cover of the math book. For some reason, she held it at an odd angle where only the back was visible. This error was corrected in reruns by using the flawless dress rehearsal take. I thought I would bring this up because it was more interesting than the actual material.

Musical Performance: “Liar”

Weekend Update (featuring Eric Adams and Moo Deng)

• *groan* Yet another year of these two bozos at the desk.

• Nothing has changed. They’re still doing awful Trump jokes, and they’re still cracking up at themselves.

• Che has a pretty funny joke about Andrew Cuomo moving “faster than COVID through a nursing home”.

• For some reason, after telling a lame Asian driver joke, Che says, “It’s the 90’s, man!” Not very funny, but that doesn’t stop him from constantly bringing this line back in later episodes!

• You can never go wrong with a “Hoda Kotb loves to drink” joke.

• Our first commentary of the season comes from Devon, who is taking over as Eric Adams. Hey, remember when SNL tried to make Eric Adams seem like a cool guy when he was really a creep??? That was awesome.

• This isn’t Devon’s best work, but he’s giving it his all. By default, this is the most tolerable commentary we’ve had since…I don’t know, Devon’s previous commentary.

• But now we’re in for some real shit, because we have a Bowen commentary, this time wearing a retarded hippo costume. 

• Bowen, for whatever reason, is playing this hippo as if it was Chappell Roan, saying shit like “I’m your favorite hippo’s favorite hippo”. I don’t get it either, and it led to a lot of Chappell’s fans criticizing the show for making a mockery of her struggles.

• Absolutely horrible bit where Bowen gets sprayed with water. This feels like something out of All That.

• This is so fucking long. I know the season just started, but this is definitely going in my worst sketches list!

Sketch: I Love Lucy

The original choice for Lucy was much brasher.

• What’s with all the Bowen in this episode? He’s not as versatile as you think he is, guys.

• Marcello’s playing Ricky exactly the same as his other roles. 

• Jean is trying her best, but not even she can save this material.

• What’s with that pose Marcello keeps doing at the end of each scene? I don’t recall Ricky ever doing that. Have these writers even seen the show???

• Sheesh, this is the first we’ve seen of James since the cold open. His impression of Fred is probably the best thing about this awful sketch, even if he only has like two lines. Chloe, on the other hand, couldn’t sound any less like Vivian Vance if she tried.

• Horrible ending where Lucy shoots Ricky. 

• I gotta be honest, I really hate it when SNL parodies classic TV shows/movies and makes them “hip” by swearing all over the place. This is also part of the reason I hate those shitty Cinema Classics sketches.

Sketch: Talk Talk

Charli XCX hosts a talk show.

• AUUUGHHHHH!!!!!! MY FUCKING EYES!!!!!! Jesus fucking Christ, now we have Bowen in drag playing Charli XCX!! 

• This is the first appearance of Sarah all night. Unfortunately, she’s also in drag, playing Troye Sivan. Why is she so obsessed with Troye Sivan??? 

• The whole “Brat or Nat” section is just painful. Never have thirty seconds felt more like thirty minutes.

• How could they even let something like this on the air? It just shows you how much SNL treats Bowen like he’s the greatest thing in the world. If he wasn’t as popular, there’s no way this would have passed dress rehearsal.

• I’m not even going to discuss the rest of the sketch. It’s that bad. But, to sum it up, I really, really, REALLY HATE BOWEN YANG!!!!

Musical Performance: “Winning Streak”

Sketch: The Real Housewives of Santa Fe

Housewives feud over being businesswomen, which prevents their waiter from serving them.

• “You’re watching Bravo.” NOOOOOO!!!!!

• Is it just me, or has Heidi aged quite a bit since last season?

• I started having Vietnam flashbacks to that horrible “Hot Plates” sketch when Andrew entered with that giant steamy plate.

• Thankfully, we don’t have any scenes of Amy Poehler turning into a skeleton or Horatio Sanz screaming at the top of his lungs in this sketch. But that’s not saying much, because it’s still a flaming mess.

• This episode is fucking killing me, man. Why are these premieres always so awful?

Cut for Time: A Father’s Promise

A father is way too protective of his son.

• This is the type of role that Marcello is actually good at. 

• When Andrew showed up with a mustache, I knew I was going to like this.

• This is a really relatable premise that I’m sure we can all identify with.

• A big laugh from Andrew bluntly insulting a child. 

• Even the bizarre Mario Kart ending was pretty funny, complete with Andrew throwing a banana peel at a cop.

• How sad is it that the only sketch I actually liked was left out of the live show? They should have taken out that retarded Charli XCX sketch and put this in!

Final thoughts: What a way to start the 50th anniversary season, huh? This didn’t feel like the beginning of a milestone year at all. Everything I hated about last season is still here with little improvement. It’s been pointed out many times before that anniversary seasons tend to be really bad (especially Seasons 20, 30, 35, and 45), and it looks like this year is going to be another disaster.

Best sketches: A Father’s Promise (Cut)

Worst sketches: Cold Open, The $100,000 Pyramid, Moo Deng commentary, Talk Talk

Next review: Nate Bargatze/Coldplay