Cold Open: Kavanaugh Hearings
In which a drunken Brett Kavanaugh (Matt Damon) rambles on about how he is not guilty for 13 minutes.
• What a way to start the season, huh? For those unaware (or if you’ve been living under a rock), this segment is making fun of the Brett Kavanaugh sexual abuse hearings. During one of them, he casually mentioned how he drank a lot in college, when these incidents allegedly happened. I’m guessing the writers of SNL saw that, and decided to milk it for all it was worth. Too bad it makes this sketch extremely unbearable to sit through.
• By the way, I’m not joking in the description. This segment really went on for 13 minutes. I’ll discuss the potential ramifications this had on the episode near the end of this review.
• TLDR: this sketch blows, let’s move on
0/5
Before we continue, I have to point out that the show’s intro sequence was finally updated after four years. All I can say is that it looks miles better than the rest of the show’s filmed sequences these days.
Monologue
• While I will give it points for not being another musical or questions monologue, this still sucked.
• Despite all of the horrors going on around him, I admire Adam Driver for keeping his cool. He’s such a great actor.
•The only time I chuckled was when Pete Davidson was told to shut up.
1.5/5
Sketch: Fortnite
HOW DO YOU DO, FELLOW KIDS?
• That description pretty much sums up how I feel about this one. As soon as I saw them setting this sketch up during the commercial break, I cringed.
• The sad thing is that they could have possibly made this funny if they had taken the time to mock the game and its fanbase. But no. Instead they just focus on stupid shit with the controls.
• Maybe they thought the game’s creators would give them free stuff if they put it in a sketch? I don’t know, fuck this sketch, it sucks.
1/5
Film: A New Kyle
Jealous of Pete Davidson’s newfound popularity over the summer, Kyle Mooney decides to freshen up his image. Also, Wendy Williams is there, for some reason...
• You knew they were going to do a sketch addressing the sudden popularity that Pete Davidson gained over the summer break. But why did they have to make it so boring?
• I think this sketch would have worked if the main focus was someone other than Kyle. Why not someone who’s been on longer, like Kenan?
1/5
Sketch: Coffee
Customers at Burger King are confused about what exactly is in their coffee.
• After this sketch aired, people complained that it was nothing more than an advertisement for Burger King. They are absolutely right.
• Besides that, this sketch is also very unfunny. The only joke appears to be confusion over whether or not BK puts actual burgers in their coffee. Which is....dumb.
1/5
Film: Rad Times at Frat U
A film about bad experiences in college...or something...
• I’m running out of ways to say that this episode sucks, so, to sum this one up, I hated it.
0/5 (for being a total waste of my time)
Starting with this review, I won’t be talking about the music performances anymore, but the ones in this episode were too bizarre not to mention.
In this first one, Kanye and his sidekick, “Li’l Pump”, are dressed up as bottles. While the song itself sucked, the visual of the two of them dressed like bottles more than made up for it.
2/5 (just because I like dancing inanimate objects)
Weekend Update (featuring Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Serena Williams, and Pete Davidson)
• As if the episode couldn’t get any worse, along comes Weekend Update. The nice reprieve from Trump jokes that lasted up until this point is sadly over, as we’re now back to comparing him to mentally challenged people.
• Then....SHE appears. Kate McKinnon (aka “My Nemesis”) shows up as Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Every time she does this impression, I want to rip my hair out. The actual Ginsburg is bad enough, but I’d gladly take her over this crap.
• While My Nemesis is blabbering on, Leslie Jones shows up as Serena Williams, obviously as a parody of her then-recent tantrum in the middle of a match. The only problem...nobody cared about that story anymore by the time this aired. Does anybody even remember it as I’m writing this?
• Another thing I can’t stand is Michael Che and his anti-white people jokes. It’s pretty much a guarantee that he’ll get in at least one each episode. SNL needs to fire him and replace him with someone who’s less biased.
-2/5 (yeah, it was really that bad)
Sketch: Career Day
Young Mordecai (Davidson) takes his grandfather (Driver) in for Career Day at school. Hilarity (allegedly) ensues.
• I’ll be honest. I had literally no idea what this one was going for. The kid’s grandfather is prone to long winded speeches? Um, funny...?
• At least Driver’s performance was pretty good, but still not enough to save it.
• Another thing I don’t understand is why so many people say this sketch is awesome. I don’t know what sketch they saw, but it clearly ain’t this one!
2/5
Musical Performance #2
Sketch: League of the South
Members of some kind of neo-Confederate group are at a meeting.
• Once again, what’s the joke? Vermont is apparently just as racist as the South? No thanks, I’ll pass.
1/5
And what do you know, that’s the end of the episode already! Or is it...?
As the credits roll, there is a third musical performance. This is already strange, but what’s even stranger is what allegedly happened right after the cameras stopped rolling. Going by what several people in attendance that night have said, Kanye proceeded to go on a pro-Trump rant. While not on the broadcast itself, clips of it that were taped by audience members circulate online.
So why was this allowed to happen, you ask? Well, I have a theory. My guess is that the overly long opening sketch messed up the timing of the episode and they had to cut some things out. To fill that time, they had Kanye perform another song. Kanye got mad and went out the only way he knew how. This might also be why they didn’t have that many Trump references in this episode; they didn’t want to offend Kanye.
Dress Rehearsal note: A sketch called “Phone Repair” was cut from the live show. Judging by a picture of it I saw on Getty Images, it looked like shit.
Dress Rehearsal note: A sketch called “Phone Repair” was cut from the live show. Judging by a picture of it I saw on Getty Images, it looked like shit.
Overall episode rating: 2/10
I’ve learned that season premieres aren’t usually the best, but no one told me they would be this awful. This has to rank among the worst episodes of all time. While other episodes might suffer from a bad host, or a bad musical guest, this one was brought down by overly long sketches, unfunny jokes, lame concepts, terrible pandering, and a complete waste of Adam Driver’s talents. And, for the very first time in these reviews, I can honestly say that there were no sketches that were actually good.
