My SNL Reviews are back, baby!!! I decided that my mental state has recovered enough for me to want to continue.
So, what are we waiting for? Let’s do the time warp again!!!
Today’s Retro Decimator Quote is...
"My favorite female cast member just continues to get better. I’m really eager to see what she does going forward." (from my Season 47 overview, 2022)
This was in regards to Ego Nwodim's stellar year she had in Season 47. Little did I know that the following season would go on to be her worst one...
Cold Open
Pete Hegseth’s address is interrupted by President Trump
• A text crawl…is it too late for me to retire my reviews again?
• On the plus side, I love how the first person we see is one of the new cast members!
• Sadly, he’s only there to introduce the real focus of this sketch, Pete Hegseth, played by Colin for some reason.
• For the record, this is Colin’s 13th season on the show. This is absolutely unbelievable. When I started watching regularly, he was only in his 5th. He outstayed his welcome long ago, and I don’t know why SNL hasn’t realized that yet.
• I don’t know how accurate Colin’s “impression” of Hegseth is, but knowing him, it’s probably not.
• *sigh* Another one of those routines where Trump interrupts a sketch to talk about himself. Why do they keep going back to this format????
• If you’re wondering whether or not he’s gotten any funnier since my last review…don’t worry, he hasn’t.
• I don’t see the point in discussing this any further when it’s exactly the same as every other time they’ve done this. Moving on…
We have several new cast members this season, most of whom I have never heard of. The newbies are Jeremy Culhane (who we just saw in the cold open), Kam Patterson, Tommy Brennan, Veronika Slowikowska (what a mouthful), and our old friend Ben Marshall from Please Don't Destroy, who have unfortunately broken up (although Martin Herlihy will still be contributing solo films).
The intro is also the same as last year, but obviously with the newbies added and Ego Nwodim, Heidi Gardner, Michael Longfellow, Devon Walker, and Emil Wakim removed.
Monologue
Bad Bunny talks about unimportant stuff before auditioning for characters he’d like to play.
• As I write this, Bad Bunny has just come off of the worst Super Bowl performance known to man, rivaling the already shitty Black Eyed Peas performance from like 15 years ago. With this added knowledge, I’m sure I’m going to hate his performance in this episode even more.
• Those videos of him dancing aren’t funny in the slightest and are only there to make his stans in the audience wet themselves.
• Pointless cameo from Jon Hamm in one of the videos.
• That line at the end where he tells us to learn his language so we can appreciate his Super Bowl performance is so Goddamn smug and arrogant that I can’t believe nobody in the audience booed him.
Sketch: Jeopardy!
A contestant fails to phrase his answers as questions.
• It feels like every year, the first sketch of the season is a game show.
• This is clearly the same set used for the Black Jeopardy sketches.
• It just feels so wrong to see a Jeopardy! sketch without Will Ferrell as Alex Trebek. Andrew is doing a fine job as Ken Jennings (despite not looking a thing like him) but Trebek is dearly missed.
• Why, oh why, is Keenan Thompson STILL on the show???? He’s approaching his 25th fucking season, and he was only funny for about nine of them.
• Nice to see Veronika with a big role right up front.
• Hoo boy, I am not a fan of this one-joke sketch so far. And, again, Bad Bunny is coming off like a smug douchebag.
• This had no reason to be the lead-off sketch. This is something that belongs after Update.
Fake Ad: ChatGPTio
A more “authentic” version of ChatGPT.
• And now we get our obligatory “let’s demonize AI” sketch.
• Seeing Chloe in this role just makes me miss Heidi even more.
• *sigh* Mikey is also still on the show for some reason, despite wearing out his welcome years ago.
• *double sigh* Another sketch where the only joke is Marcello babbling in a thick Spanish accent. Am I the only one who thinks these kinds of roles are kind of racist?
• Bad Bunny is adding nothing to this.
Sketch: The Donor
A couple asks their friend to be their sperm donor.
• Surprised it’s taken this long for Bowen to show up.
• The reveal of Bad Bunny’s character already sets a bad tone for the rest of this sketch.
• Yep, just as I feared, this guy is the main joke of the sketch.
• To make things even more cliche, Kenan also appears as a creepy character. I’ve lost count of how many times he’s done that.
Sketch: K-Pop Demon Hunters
SNL tries to piggyback off of the success of an overrated movie.
• Kinda weird how we have two sketches in a row where the leading ladies are Chloe and Sarah.
• Chloe says she’s excited to see the new Paul Thomas Anderson movie. I can’t help but wonder if this is an in-joke directed at Maya Rudolph, as Anderson is her husband.
• Ugh, now we get the main “joke” of this sketch, which is how Bad Bunny’s character is obsessed with K-Pop Demon Hunters, an extremely overrated animated film that came out that summer. I don’t think I need to tell you who wrote this sketch, do I?
• I hope the writers got paid by Sony every time they say the name of the movie in this sketch. I’m not going to count how many times they say it because I don’t want to get AIDS.
• Boy, Bad Bunny’s performance in this sketch is so awful. I don’t know what happened between his first hosting gig and this one, because this is clearly not the same guy!
• Somehow they were able to get Huntrix (the band that was in the movie) to appear in this awful sketch.
• I did kind of chuckle at Sarah randomly saying that she’s on the Epstein list.
• Figures that Bowen would be involved in this sketch in some way. I have no idea who he’s supposed to be playing, but he isn’t funny.
• Dear God, Bowen starts singing….I think I can move on to the next sketch now.
Musical Performance: “AAHH Men!!!!”
Weekend Update (featuring Kam Patterson and Dobby the House Elf)
• *triple sigh* These cretins are still here, for some reason. When I initially ended my blog last summer, I did it in hopes that SNL was about to make some huge changes to the show. While they certainly did that, apparently Weekend Update was thought to be perfectly fine, even though it is the part of the show that needs the most improvement.
• A really hacky joke where Trump’s plan for peace in Gaza has a drawing of a woman’s breasts on it.
• Ugh, I forgot about that awful part where they dub Chloe as Jennifer Coolidge over a clip of Trump speaking. What’s the point? Oh yeah, we need to keep pushing Chloe as a “star” even though everyone’s sick of her by now.
• Newbie Kam Patterson has a commentary where the “joke” is that he keeps skirting around the fact that he’s going to say the n-word. Not a good first impression.
• HUGE applause for some reason when Che says Zohran Mamdani’s name. I take it the audience is filled with Arab Communists?
• Though cheap, my biggest laugh of this entire Update came from Che’s joke about Andrew Cuomo’s new political ad being “*Honka-honka, shhhh!”
• Jesus Christ, another fucking “mascot” commentary. This time, it’s Bowen as Dobby the House Elf, who is here to talk about…ugh, J.K. Rowling’s transphobia. This can not end well.
• I thought nothing could top the hippo commentary from last season’s premiere, but this is definitely worse.
• There’s a blooper where the strap on his costume comes loose, causing him to ad-lib “Dobby’s come undone!” Sadly, that’s probably the highlight of this travesty of a commentary.
• Seeing crap like this makes me all the more glad that Bowen leaves the show halfway through this season. The amount of time that they gave over to this untalented baby to do whatever the fuck he wanted is honestly ridiculous.
• And that’s how we end Update. Nothing has improved since last season.
Sketch: Inventing Spanish
A look back at how the Iberians invented the Spanish language.
• Once again, it seems like Bad Bunny is barely trying with the delivery here. I know English isn’t his first language and everything, but still, you’d think he’d at least give some effort.
• Marcello is mugging up a storm here. I can’t believe I used to like this guy.
• Because SNL is trying to justify Kenan staying on for the millionth year in a row, they throw him into this sketch despite it not making sense for a black guy to be there. His Spanish accent is unsurprisingly awful.
• This feels like a thinly veiled rehash of sketches like the Washington ones with Nate Bargatze, or that Godawful one from the Season 47 finale with the angels creating the first man. I am not a fan of any of those, so I imagine I’ll like this one even less.
• Guess we can add Spanish to the list of accents Mikey is terrible at. Given that his character is said to be from Barcelona, it would have been kinda funny if he did an impression of Manuel from Fawlty Towers.
• Random Benicio del Toro cameo. Yeah, why not? Let’s just keep padding the cameo count some more!
Musical Performance: “Gorgeous”
Sketch: Parent-Teacher Conference
A principal is attracted to her student’s hot dad.
• Figures Ashley’s only role is stuck near the end of the show.
• Some chick in the audience has a laugh that sounds almost exactly like Roseanne.
• Unsurprisingly, Ashley is doing a masterful job here.
• Some huge laughs from the disturbing drawings that Marcello’s character has created.
• Even Bad Bunny is doing pretty fine here.
• Andrew slowly seems to be taking over Mikey’s role as SNL’s resident cuck.
• Finally, a genuinely strong sketch! Too bad it took them until the end of the episode to do it!
Sketch: El Chavo
SNL’s latest attempt to pander to Latin viewers.
• Not content with shitting all over Sabado Gigante, Marcello is now doing the same to El Chavo del Ocho. The first time I saw this episode, I immediately turned off the TV when this sketch started.
• I have seen a grand total of one episode of El Chavo, so there’s probably going to be some in-jokes here that I don’t understand.
• So far, the only joke is that they’re doing an exact recreation of the intro (complete with the same music), except the “funny” part is that they’re doing it this time instead of the original people.
• Andrew looks pretty dead on as Don Ramón.
• The part where Andrew gets slapped by Chloe is so badly staged. Her hand comes nowhere near him and the sound effects are delayed.
• Now they’re throwing in Kenan to try to “improve” this sketch? Good lord, I don’t know how many more bad accents I can take from him.
• Oh, and Spanish Jon Hamm appears at the end for no reason.
• While this definitely didn’t make me feel as dead inside as the Sabado Gigante “parodies”, I’m baffled as to how other people can praise this boring, muggy shoutfest.
Final thoughts: As I feared, nothing has changed from the last season. There’s still too much Trump, too much trashy social media shit, too much Marcello, and still too much Colin Jost and Michael Che. Bad Bunny just coasted through the entire episode giving half-assed performances because he knows his idiotic fans will eat it up anyway.
Best sketches: Parent-Teacher Conference
Worst sketches: Jeopardy, The Donor, K-Pop Demon Hunters, Dobby the Elf commentary
Next review: Amy Poehler/Role Model
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